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...to think that the same people are at every training event?

(32 Posts)
moahcoocumbahs Sun 11-Jun-17 19:37:04

I'm just back from a weekend's residential training related to my profession. It strikes me that the same tropes were there as every other training I've ever done.

- The endearingly scatty middle aged lady who's away from her kids for the first time in ages and gets tipsy and giggly on an overpriced cocktail at the bar every evening.

- The young man who offers unsolicited advice to the group because he thinks we're all impressed by his massive success at such an early age.

- The guy who constantly says 'can I just add...' to something the trainer has said. (No, Dave, you bloody can't. I didn't pay 2 grand to hear yet another story about a mildly amusing client you had fifteen years ago.)

- the 'expert' in whatever training topic it is who delights in asking really niche questions and using obscure acronyms which the trainer is then obliged to ask them to explain with the group.

- somebody who doesn't understand the meaning of the phrase 'learning curve' and uses it to mean 'learning'.

Phewf, I'm so glad to have that off my chest.

Who have I missed?

Allthebestnamesareused Sun 11-Jun-17 20:20:39

The person who applies stereotypes to the others on the course? [grin

CaulkheadUpNorf Sun 11-Jun-17 20:22:54

On my training I have

The oversharer. I know a lot more about her bowels than I need to

The one who refuses to join in.

The one who makes a big deal about her self chosen intolerances.

pootlepootle Sun 11-Jun-17 20:27:43

which one were you?

Elmo230885 Sun 11-Jun-17 20:27:48

The one that always asks a question at the end of the day when everyone wanted to go home, surely its common knowledge that when a trainer asks 'any questions?' Everyone should remain silent!
Or is that just work compulsory training?

OfNoFixedAbode Sun 11-Jun-17 20:32:22

The one person who won't take the 'if we have a shorter lunch we can finish early' bribe-they want enough time to go into town and go to Waitrose.

SmokingGun Sun 11-Jun-17 20:34:34

The one who complains it is too cold (lots of faffing putting cardigan/jumper, coat, scarf on) or too hot (lots of sighing and fanning faces with a piece of paper)

The one who has seemingly never used a PC before in his/her life grin

moahcoocumbahs Sun 11-Jun-17 20:49:13

Hmm good question.

I think I'm the one who dives for the pen and paper during brainstorming because if I've written it somebody else has to feed back to the bigger group.

pambeesley Sun 11-Jun-17 20:51:35

The only who dominates in breakout groups.

StealthPolarBear Sun 11-Jun-17 20:53:55

The swotwho takes copious notes

mygorgeousmilo Sun 11-Jun-17 21:23:46

The one who is always late, in the morning, but also even after a break/lunch etc. They just rock up after everyone has started, and sit there fumbling around, unapologetically sorting biscuits and faffing with their Starbucks - which made them bloody late! Argggh

EZA15 Sun 11-Jun-17 22:01:38

Moah, Pam and Stealth I am all three of these 😳

PlayOnWurtz Sun 11-Jun-17 22:06:48

The one who does no prep work for the course

The one who is always late back from lunch

The one who has their laptop out and taps away so loudly you can't hear the presenter

MargaretCabbage Sun 11-Jun-17 22:09:36

The one who goes off on a tangent, asking more and more irrelevant questions.

KoalaDownUnder Sun 11-Jun-17 22:09:54

The one person who won't take the 'if we have a shorter lunch we can finish early' bribe-they want enough time to go into town and go to Waitrose

I hate this fucker.

brasty Sun 11-Jun-17 22:10:35

I hate the finishing early and having a shorter lunch break. I have normally sorted out transport/childcare to correspond with a certain time. So just end up waiting about for half an hour,

KoalaDownUnder Sun 11-Jun-17 22:12:10

Oh. Sorry Brasty. grin

Gingernaut Sun 11-Jun-17 22:16:21

The one who refuses to join in

Guilty.

I'm usually the one sent against her will, with no interest in the training, as I have no desire to progress and someone else, who is interested, could have gone instead.

I'll be at the back of the class, face like a bulldog chewing a wasp, barely managing to stay awake.

Sorry. Not sorry.

StealthPolarBear Sun 11-Jun-17 22:17:09

Ooh the very important one who spends most of the time on their phone. You do wonder why they bother to turn up.

CaulkheadUpNorf Sun 11-Jun-17 22:21:16

gingernaut bet you don't walk out and drink coffee in the "break out" area whilst are all still sit there with the trainer like someone I have regular training with though.

I also have the one who makes a big deal about being an introvert and how having to be with other people for more than ten minutes is taking away her human rights.

CatsInKilts Sun 11-Jun-17 22:24:57

The one who unpacks 20 different items of stationery and spreads them out all over the table, but doesn't actually use any of it.

KoalaDownUnder Sun 11-Jun-17 22:26:45

The one who constantly whispers to their mate while the presenter is talking. Like a 12-year-old.

youarenotkiddingme Sun 11-Jun-17 22:27:54

The one who always answers for the trainer when they are asked a question.

If you know it all - what are you on the course?!

Littledrummergirl Sun 11-Jun-17 22:31:26

The one who cries/argues/moans when asked to join in, the unfunny joker, the one who tries to hard, the one who wants to be liked, the one who hates everything and everyone.

I used to be a trainer can you tell?

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