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To think people can be so rude when you're pregnant?

(52 Posts)
smileygrapefruit Sun 11-Jun-17 15:42:32

36 weeks pregnant with dc3. Bumped in to a friend who was with someone I didn't know, they were asking me how I was doing etc when her friend, upon learning this was dc3, said, "haven't you worked out what's causing it yet? How does your poor husband feel?". I was shock and just said "my husband is just as excited as me thanks".

Think this is the rudest I've had but also comments like Was it planned and will this be the last one ...mind your fucking business you rude twat!!!

Aibu to ask for your examples of rude things that have been said to you during pregnancy?
And wibu not to really tell that woman what I thought of her comment? Probably.

smileygrapefruit Sun 11-Jun-17 15:43:28

Don't know why that's posted flowers...should be shock face bloody app

ffsnotthisagain Sun 11-Jun-17 15:45:27

shockomg look how big you are! Twats

ScarlettFreestone Sun 11-Jun-17 15:47:30

That is fairly outstandingly rude!

I was asked when my twins were about 3yo (so old enough to understand) which one was my favourite. On being told that "of course I don't have a favourite" the same woman asked which one was "the bad one".

I was just shock.

SelfObsessionHoney Sun 11-Jun-17 15:48:09

'Have you not heard of contraception'

Yes I have thank you, but after being told by my gynaecologist that I would need ovulation stimulants to conceive I thought I was pretty safe.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Sun 11-Jun-17 15:49:23

The only question Id ask a pregnant women is.
Do you known what you're having
Have you got any names.

sexcauldron Sun 11-Jun-17 15:51:20

I keep being asked what I'm calling them (having twins) and it can be quite awkward because I'd rather not say what the names are.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Sun 11-Jun-17 15:51:39

Oh I was on my own when I had a dd,
I had some randomer ask.
Who's the father. I just looked through her.
I should have said Oh your fellah.

NotAnotherUserName5 Sun 11-Jun-17 15:56:49

Yanbu. That's rude!

Perhaps this person was jealous?

I'm due my 4th next week, and people generally are lovely. You get the odd shocked person though. Not really anyone's business though!

Jellymuffin Sun 11-Jun-17 15:57:44

In hairdressers yesterday - 'what are you having?' A boy (she knows I have a 3 year old boy already) 'oh what a shame for you! You won't have anyone to do girly things with! My daughter and I are inseparable! She's my best friend!' hmm

smileygrapefruit Sun 11-Jun-17 15:57:44

Yes, I hate people asking me about names but I don't think they are being rude really. I just say we haven't decided. Too much drama over "stealing" names previously but that's a whole other thread!

smileygrapefruit Sun 11-Jun-17 16:00:29

jelly this is going to be dd3 and have had so many oh are you going to try for a boy

Jellymuffin Sun 11-Jun-17 16:03:38

i keep being told by basically everyone 'oh, you can always have another to get your girl' - no thanks!

Madammim17 Sun 11-Jun-17 16:11:20

I can't believe the audacity of some people! That's such a rude thing to say! I think you should have given her what for, OP, I know I would have!

It actually surprised me how awful people could be when I was pregnant. Aside from people making comments about what I ate or drank (had the mayonnaise and shellfish lecture from a random stranger in a restaurant once when they saw me eating a prawn cocktail at seven months gone) I had people be offended if I moved away if they tried to touch my bump without asking or if I made a sarcastic comment when they felt the need to tell me how tired I look, cos you know, that's a nice thing to say to someone hmm

I also had a friend criticise my choice to attend a local bonfire event when I was a week overdue, claiming I was irresponsible and putting my baby at risk and potentially spoiling the night for everybody else if I went into labour then and there. Never mind that I told her that not only was walking encouraged to start labour which is what I really wanted considering how uncomfortable I was, but that I had been actively encouraged by my midwife to go, she wouldn't let it drop and I really lost my temper with her, which inevitably led to the 'oh you're only angry cos it's hormones' bullshit. It still makes me angry now and DS is over a year old! grin Some people just astound me!

Congrats on dc3 OP! Bet you can't wait to meet them! smile

smileygrapefruit Sun 11-Jun-17 16:24:02

Eww yes the random strangers touching your stomach...wtf!! I had a half a lager shandy on a hot day the other week...just what I fancied...and I swear to god you could hear the waitress inwardly judging me as she put it down.

CherryChasingDotMuncher Sun 11-Jun-17 16:24:29

DH's idiot friends upon hearing were expecting: "oh gutted for you mate haha, another ball and chain" hmm

People praising DH for going to scans. "oh such a good bloke you've got there". Really? Turning up to an appointment isn't hard. Meanwhile if I complained because I was ill (and boy was I ever when carrying DS!) it's an eye roll and "pregnancy is not an illness". It's all just steeped in sexism really.

And there's a special place in hell for unwarranted bump-touchers. I hate it, even DH used to ask. My mum always did it and when I asked her to stop she thought she should be different because she's my mum hmm

LittleBeautyBelle Sun 11-Jun-17 16:30:13

So rude!!!

When I was almost to my due date, I passed this woman colleague in the hall and she said "Wow, you are huge!"

Haha!!! I was so proud of being pregnant (I don't know why exactly) that her comment just rolled off my big belly wink This woman never had children.

Right after birth I still looked 7 months pregnant but the weight just dropped off and I could fit back into my size 4 (American, not sure what that is in British sizes) after around 6-8 weeks. I think breastfeeding is what helped but I don't know for sure. Op, pay no attention to the catty comments, usually those people have issues that drive them to say hurtful things.

TheSkyAtNight Sun 11-Jun-17 16:33:17

Bump-botherers...yuk!

knorrig Sun 11-Jun-17 16:35:04

We were asked a few times if it was planned...odd question as we're 38, been together 4 years and not long bought a new house (also those asking didn't know we'd had 2 mc's before getting to this one.
Everybody asks about names but we've said we're not telling - maybe because I don't want people's opinions on our choices!
Luckily not had too many bump touchers!

toffeeboffin Sun 11-Jun-17 16:37:15

It's bad post partum too.

Both the hairdresser and financial adviser asked me if I was breastfeeding confused

BillSykesDog Sun 11-Jun-17 16:40:33

When I told my DM my second pregnancy was twins her response was 'Get a c-section so you can have your tubes tied at the same time'.

smileygrapefruit Sun 11-Jun-17 16:43:00

knorrig sorry about your mc's, we've been through two as well. People just don't think. It's like when they see a pregnant person they lose their filter and manners completely!

SureJan Sun 11-Jun-17 17:37:55

"Are you sure there's only one in there?!" I've had that quite a lot & thought it was pretty rude!

ScarlettFreestone Sun 11-Jun-17 17:40:06

Sure they hate it when you answer "actually, it is twins"

They always looked so disgruntled. grin

BettySmut Sun 11-Jun-17 17:44:50

toffeeboffin I agree. When DD2 was tiny I had a few people comment that I must be gutted that she wasn't a boy. How the hell I kept my temper and didn't tell "she's not a fucking booby prize you tit" I don't know.

When I tried that actually I was happy with a healthy baby they'd then state that my husband must be desperate for a boy. Thick bastards.

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