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Nanny dilemma...

(22 Posts)
PercyPeanuts Fri 09-Jun-17 10:58:39

So, we have a lovely nanny who has been with us for a while. As the DC are school age it is not a hugely onerous role in the term time and we are happy for her to fit in personal commitments provided everything else gets done. However the idea is that she tells us if e.g. she has appointments etc in case there is an unexpected clash.

So, to my aibu/wwyd... I've ended up working from home today which I hadn't decided to do when they left for school this morning. It's now an hour after our nanny would normally be back - and I don't know of any appointments.

My dilemma is if she ends up not coming back until much later/or perhaps not until after pick up even it is all going to be very awkward when she gets back to find me here...

So should I a) send her a text so she knows I'm here (and can save any potential embarrassment if she is having a bit of a skive) or b) just wait and see what happens... (If she is having a bit of a skive I guess it would be good to know...) or c) do something else?

I add that we otherwise feel very lucky to have her.

FakePlasticTeaLeaves Fri 09-Jun-17 11:00:53

I would let it play out. I'd be curious as to what would be happening if you weren't there, so wouldn't let her know.

hesterton Fri 09-Jun-17 11:02:08

What is she meant to do while they are at school? Does she have chores?

BrieAndChilli Fri 09-Jun-17 11:04:47

Maybe she's shopping for the kids, maybe there's an assembly at school, maybe she's chatting to other mums/nannies at the school gate about sports day/school fete etc/ maybe she's decided to walk the long way home/
Could be a million things she's isnout of the house for. What is she supposed to do when the kids are at school?

LakieLady Fri 09-Jun-17 11:04:51

Blimey, talk about first world problems ...

sparechange Fri 09-Jun-17 11:06:21

Do you pay her hourly, or for workload?

What should she be doing during the day?

EssentialHummus Fri 09-Jun-17 11:06:34

However the idea is that she tells us if e.g. she has appointments etc in case there is an unexpected clash.

Surely this is unlikely once the DC are in school? What could clash, unless one of them is taken ill suddenly and needs collecting?

I'd see whether this is regular. If so, you may want to see if there's more she could feasibly be getting on with at home, since I can't imagine being a nanny to school-age DC is too onerous in the day.

PercyPeanuts Fri 09-Jun-17 11:14:08

Thanks all, and yes Lakie, I entirely agree this is a first world problem!

We pay her a monthly salary. She does have household chores etc during the day - but not enough I suspect to keep her totally occupied - and I have no problem with that provided she does not end up getting bored...

You are right she may well be off running errands for us.

WipsGlitter Fri 09-Jun-17 11:17:26

What do you expect her to be doing? Is she supposed to be in your house the whole time?

PacificDogwod Fri 09-Jun-17 11:17:35

I think you need to consider what you want your longterm relationship with her to be like.

We are in a similar position to you (much valued nanny, kids all school age, monthly wage). We love our nanny and due to DH's and my work commitments hugely value her being prepared and able to be flexible which in return means we do not count hours and allow her all the freedom she needs (she also has some caring responsibilities for elderly relatives etc).

The arrangement works really well for all parties involved.

In your shoes, I would totally let this go, whatever she is currently doing.

PercyPeanuts Fri 09-Jun-17 11:25:30

Pacific - thanks. I absolutely agree. I was really more concerned about how to handle it if she did pitch up hours later!

Anyway, she's returned and all is well. Think she must have done a couple of errands on her way back from school which is absolutely fine. I didn't make anything of it.

Thanks all!

AnnieAnoniMouse Fri 09-Jun-17 11:44:10

So what if she hadn't turned up until she brought the kids home from school?

Why on earth does she need to tell you if she has an appointment or just wants to meet friends, do her own thing?

You have things you've agreed she will do, as long as those things are done what does it matter to you when they're done?

I cant believe that you seriously expect her to return to your home after the school run simply 'because'. So controlling.

If you want to keep her you need to get your head around the fact that you're paying her to be 'available' not 'chained to your house'. It's like an insurance policy.

hesterton Fri 09-Jun-17 11:49:49

I think thats unfair. OP isn't being controlling - she pays nanny for these hours.

If your guys are all at school now, might It not be a good time to perhaps share her with another family (teacher would be ideal so she is off when you need more hours!) It could increase her salary and lower your costs.

Floralnomad Fri 09-Jun-17 11:50:34

annie. The OP is paying her a ft wage for a ft job not to go off and see her friends / do her own thing , don't be so ridiculous. What if the OP had left a message indoors to say she wanted x done by midday today ?

NavyandWhite Fri 09-Jun-17 11:53:30

As long as her "jobs" were done by he time the dc come home I'm not sure what the problem would have been?

hesterton Fri 09-Jun-17 11:56:29

Well it depends - if she is being employed to be in and around the house unless specifically requesting time off, then she needs to do that.

But it does sound like she was either doing errands or that op is happy to feel she was being reasonable. So it is a non problem.

BeepBeepMOVE Fri 09-Jun-17 11:59:14

She's being paid to be at work not see her friends. Of course it's OPs business!

NavyandWhite Fri 09-Jun-17 12:00:26

See her friends? That's presumptive!

KC225 Fri 09-Jun-17 12:00:57

My kids went to a school with a few full time nanny's and the good ones were kind of treated like fellow parents, the chit chat at the school gate. Non confidential messages were passed via them to the parents, arranging playdates, parties and after school clubs etc. One even helped put with 'volunteer reading'. Those sort of things tagged onto a quick local shop for a few bits could easily take up over a good hour or so.

I see she us back now and you have decided to let it slide, maybe to save this have a chat about her day and if she is bored whilst they are at school.

hesterton Fri 09-Jun-17 12:02:24

I wondered if she might be bored too.

Westfacing Fri 09-Jun-17 12:15:02

Is she meant to be indoors all day whilst the children are at school?

Even if with chores to do, surely she's not expected to be on the go all day hmm

user1471598890 Fri 09-Jun-17 12:18:09

I'm a nanny n until recently in charge of 2 kids 1 at school 1 in council nursery. N i think taking 2 hrs to return from the school run is a bit excessive unless she did a big shop or something straight afterwards. Boredom is probably a slight problem but she should b doing her chores 1st I think. How did she react when she got home n u were there? X

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