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AIBU to smack my toddler?

(195 Posts)
ElleDubloo Thu 08-Jun-17 21:51:46

I never believed that I would ever smack my little girl. But here's what happened today.

We went on a short walk to the railway bridge because she loves to see the trains. We counted five trains. Then she suddenly decided it would be hilarious to pull her trousers down. For reasons known only to her, she refused to pull them back up, even when I threatened her with "ok we're going home now" and "no cartoons". I couldn't move about easily because I was also carrying a baby in a wrap. I pulled her trousers back on three times while muttering various threats. The fourth time she pulled them down, I gave her exposed bottom a big smack. She cried for a few seconds, then held my hand and walked all the way home like an angel. She started singing after a couple of minutes. So the smack was bad enough to make her cry a little and behave well, but not bad enough to make a lasting dent in her mood.

Was I a terrible parent today, for smacking her despite always vowing I would never smack a child?

ElleDubloo Thu 08-Jun-17 21:52:44

To emphasise the context: her bottom was COMPLETELY NUDE and exposed on top of a RAILWAY BRIDGE. What else could I have done?

LRDtheFeministDragon Thu 08-Jun-17 21:53:43

You're not a terrible parent. You were stressed, and you had a small baby, and you reacted in a way you never thought you would.

I do think smacking is fundamentally wrong, but it's not as if you set out to smack her and think it's a normal method of punishment. And I do think it's repeated smacking that does the damage, not a one-off.

RoganJosh Thu 08-Jun-17 21:53:54

Ignored it? Who cares about a toddler taking clothes off?

Alittlepotofrosie Thu 08-Jun-17 21:54:05

Yep. You lost control. Lots of people will tel you its ok but it's not.

You should have followed through with the consequences not just muttered threats at her.

RuckingMarvellous Thu 08-Jun-17 21:54:06

Honestly yes YABU. I appreciate how much toddlers can push you, but I don't ever think resorting to violence is ok.

But it happened, let it go, tomorrow's another day. Maybe google some positive parenting info for dealing with toddlers and challenging behaviour.

I often find distraction works best.

Notcool1984 Thu 08-Jun-17 21:54:15

YABU, sorry, but you frightened her into submission, smacking just teaches fear and also, how can you teach her not to smack other children to get them to do what she wants?

LRDtheFeministDragon Thu 08-Jun-17 21:54:30

(Not sure why an exposed bum is such a big deal, mind? I mean, daft and annoying, but it's not really cold enough for her to do herself any harm, surely?)

pipsqueak25 Thu 08-Jun-17 21:54:51

smacking is never the answer imo whatever the cause but others will disagree no doubt.
a nude back side is hardly the worst thing is it ? grin

Dandandandandandandan Thu 08-Jun-17 21:54:51

My parents smacked us on the bum if we misbehaved and did us no harm at all. It was the only thing my unbelievably naughty brother understood!

But at the same time I know I couldn't ever smack DD.

seoulsurvivor Thu 08-Jun-17 21:54:53

Why make idle threats if you don't carry them out? That just adds fuel to her fire.

Offherhead Thu 08-Jun-17 21:55:10

YABU. You've just allowed her to use her nakedness to push you to a violent act. Slow clap.

Calyrical Thu 08-Jun-17 21:55:23


Strange thread.

BluePheasant Thu 08-Jun-17 21:55:30


You could have just kept your cool for a start, she's a toddler ffs.

shivermytimbers Thu 08-Jun-17 21:55:31

Yes. That was very unreasonable. You have taught your daughter that she should be ashamed of her body and that she deserves to be hit.

Dandandandandandandan Thu 08-Jun-17 21:56:15

BUT you aren't a terrible parent OP! You just snapped. Toddlers are really trying. If you aren't going to smack, I would just try and work on why you snapped and what you could do differently when she does it again.

FuckingSausageFingers Thu 08-Jun-17 21:57:03

YABU. Hitting a child is never the answer.

BluePheasant Thu 08-Jun-17 21:57:06

Or Wtf even! wink am clearly confused by this thread!

Quartz2208 Thu 08-Jun-17 21:58:02

Yep you let your embarrassment about her being a toddler make you angry. You know you should not have done it so what do you want from this thread

EastMidsMumOf1 Thu 08-Jun-17 21:58:34

Does seem a little OTT for something like that but I have probably smacked my dds bum for something far less when patience has been running low espeically if theres been alot of bad behavior and "no's" throughout the day. But i do wollop her one is if shes done something extremely dangerous like trying to run into a road, she never did it again mind you. Dont dwell on it

Misspilly88 Thu 08-Jun-17 21:58:50

Is this a joke?! Of course Ywu.

User12345678912345 Thu 08-Jun-17 21:58:59

Sounds like it was a stressful situation op sad hope u feel ok. However, no, it's never ok to hit/smack a child imo.

KatherinaMinola Thu 08-Jun-17 21:59:25

I hope you are a troll.

Yes, that was terrible parenting. I can't believe you have to ask, really hmm.

5OBalesofHay Thu 08-Jun-17 21:59:46

slow clap offherhead how very ducking supportive of a fellow parent. Jeez.

highinthesky Thu 08-Jun-17 21:59:52

You shocked both of you.

It was done in the heat of the moment, and you need to prepare for how to handle it should it happen again. It's difficult as young children can be so wilful, and I realise how hard it is to manage one with a baby in tow as well but remember you are the adult.

Giving yourself a mental beating isn't helpful, dump the guilt and move on.

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