To think I have failed as a mother?!

[WankStainWasher]

Getting ready to drive my (teenage) DS2 to his part-time job. He's faffing about as usual and I tell him to eat a banana before we go for quick energy.
I get my things together, ready to go, no sign of DS2. I see the downstairs loo door is locked...
"C'mon! What are you doing?!" says I.
"Having a poo." says DS2.
"Aww man, that is really not on! You don't poo in the downstairs loo! That's what your bathroom upstairs if for!"
"Oh well, but I needed a poo." says DS2 - his voice sounding strange.
"Hang on a minute," I say..."Have you got food in your mouth? Are you eating that banana while you're sitting on the loo, having a poo?!?"
"Yeph."
So I really have failed haven't I, if my DS2 thinks it's ok to:
a) Do a number 2 downstairs and stink out the house and
b) Eat while sitting on the loo.

....Oh, and when I got home I saw he'd left the light on...

[Patriciathestripper1]

Why do you have you got a downstairs toilet if your not allowed to crap on it??

[TaggySits]

At least he can multi-task.

[SomeOtherFuckers]

I do both of those things ... you sound really stressful

[Madbum]

Erm what?

[Floggingmolly]

You wanted him to use his bathroom? Do you have a personal toilet each, like other people have toothbrushes?

[allthatnonsense]

Multi-tasking is rare in males. You've done a cracking job.
You need some twee "tinkles only" type signs and some chats about dysentery etc.

[loaferloveforyou]

I know someone who does this if they have trouble going

[barrygetamoveonplease]

Multi-tasking is rare in males. You've done a cracking job

[Saracen]

YABU.

You were on the way out the door. Who cares if the downstairs stinks while you're out? The smell will be gone by the time you're back.

Eating while pooing is kinda disgusting. But he was doing it in privacy. If you hadn't been interrogating him through the bathroom door you would never have known.

You have my permission to nag him a bit about leaving the light on, but it hardly constitutes parental failure. Besides, he was trying to get to work on time while being distracted by being told off for using the nearest loo and for eating the banana you had just urged on him so it's no wonder his poor adolescent morning brain was overloaded.

[Supersoaryflappypigeon]

I'm assuming the no-poo-in-the-downstairs-loo rule is because of smells?

[flumpybear]

We love in a bungalow - no ones allowed to poo upstairs

[flumpybear]

We actually live here - and occasionally love here too

[Smellbellina]

YaNbu. Dirty boy.

[Lowdoorinthewal1]

OMG OP I am totally with you. I had EXACTLY this conversation with DS (6yo) today. I am devastated to hear this may still be going on in 10 years time.

[WankStainWasher]

Yes, he has his own bathroom upstairs. I don't like the pooing downstairs for smell reasons, but also because he has the most amazing talent for leaving huge skid-marks!
We weren't rushing out the door in the morning - it's an evening job and he'd been home for about 4 hours, plus his bathroom is literally a 2-second run to the top of the stairs!
Multi-tasking is rare in males. You've done a cracking job

[WankStainWasher]

flumpybear If you live in a bungalow, isn't the upstairs the roof? I don't blame you for not allowing anyone to poo up there!

[BuzzBuzzBuzzLightyear]

Oh good I thought this was going to be another melodramatic Tory bashing thread.

[GrumpyOldBag]

You may be a bit unhinged if you feel the need to dictate where people do their poos ... I mean, as long as it's on the toilet with the door closed, what does it matter?

[mctat]

YABU for having a loo you're not allowed to poo on.

[ArgyMargy]

YABU. What on earth do you think is going to happen? I don't have a problem with eating/drinking while on the loo. Saves time. I do have my own bathroom though

[mrsBeverleygoldberg]

Eating on the toilet is a bit gross.
'I've failed as a mother.'

[Lowdoorinthewal1]

Nobody is allowed to poo downstairs in my house but they still bloody do because then the toilet needs cleaning every time in case the next person in is a guest.

My DS also has his own bathroom at the top of the stairs. How hard is it to climb 12 steps and THEN poo to save me scrubbing skid marks??

[WankStainWasher]

Lowdoor are you me?
MrsGoldberg thank you for getting my joke. I forgot to explicitly say this was lighthearted - now apparently I'm a stressy toilet Nazi!

[SleightOfHand]

I wish my son had a part time job and I had a downstairs loo.

[deadringer]

In my house pooing is downstairs only as the flush in the upstairs loo is rubbish and it takes ages to fill up again. Surely if you are eating while crapping it would taste like shit? Yuck!