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To think I have failed as a mother?!

(32 Posts)
WankStainWasher Thu 08-Jun-17 20:11:47

Getting ready to drive my (teenage) DS2 to his part-time job. He's faffing about as usual and I tell him to eat a banana before we go for quick energy.
I get my things together, ready to go, no sign of DS2. I see the downstairs loo door is locked...
"C'mon! What are you doing?!" says I.
"Having a poo." says DS2.
"Aww man, that is really not on! You don't poo in the downstairs loo! That's what your bathroom upstairs if for!"
"Oh well, but I needed a poo." says DS2 - his voice sounding strange.
"Hang on a minute," I say..."Have you got food in your mouth? Are you eating that banana while you're sitting on the loo, having a poo?!?"
So I really have failed haven't I, if my DS2 thinks it's ok to:
a) Do a number 2 downstairs and stink out the house and
b) Eat while sitting on the loo.

....Oh, and when I got home I saw he'd left the light on...

Patriciathestripper1 Thu 08-Jun-17 20:16:44

Why do you have you got a downstairs toilet if your not allowed to crap on it??confused

TaggySits Thu 08-Jun-17 20:17:14

At least he can multi-task.

SomeOtherFuckers Thu 08-Jun-17 20:18:33

I do both of those things ... you sound really stressful

Madbum Thu 08-Jun-17 20:18:52

Erm what?

Floggingmolly Thu 08-Jun-17 20:19:35

You wanted him to use his bathroom? Do you have a personal toilet each, like other people have toothbrushes?

allthatnonsense Thu 08-Jun-17 20:19:45

Multi-tasking is rare in males. You've done a cracking job.
You need some twee "tinkles only" type signs and some chats about dysentery etc.

loaferloveforyou Thu 08-Jun-17 20:21:18

I know someone who does this if they have trouble going

barrygetamoveonplease Thu 08-Jun-17 20:25:33

Multi-tasking is rare in males. You've done a cracking job

Saracen Thu 08-Jun-17 20:35:40


You were on the way out the door. Who cares if the downstairs stinks while you're out? The smell will be gone by the time you're back.

Eating while pooing is kinda disgusting. But he was doing it in privacy. If you hadn't been interrogating him through the bathroom door you would never have known.

You have my permission to nag him a bit about leaving the light on, but it hardly constitutes parental failure. Besides, he was trying to get to work on time while being distracted by being told off for using the nearest loo and for eating the banana you had just urged on him so it's no wonder his poor adolescent morning brain was overloaded.

Supersoaryflappypigeon Thu 08-Jun-17 20:37:31

I'm assuming the no-poo-in-the-downstairs-loo rule is because of smells?

flumpybear Thu 08-Jun-17 20:39:38

We love in a bungalow - no ones allowed to poo upstairs hmmconfused

flumpybear Thu 08-Jun-17 20:40:20

We actually live here - and occasionally love here too wink

Smellbellina Thu 08-Jun-17 20:42:54

YaNbu. Dirty boy.

Lowdoorinthewal1 Thu 08-Jun-17 20:46:33

OMG OP I am totally with you. I had EXACTLY this conversation with DS (6yo) today. I am devastated to hear this may still be going on in 10 years time. grin

WankStainWasher Thu 08-Jun-17 20:47:58

Yes, he has his own bathroom upstairs. I don't like the pooing downstairs for smell reasons, but also because he has the most amazing talent for leaving huge skid-marks! grin
We weren't rushing out the door in the morning - it's an evening job and he'd been home for about 4 hours, plus his bathroom is literally a 2-second run to the top of the stairs!
Multi-tasking is rare in males. You've done a cracking job grin

WankStainWasher Thu 08-Jun-17 20:49:43

flumpybear If you live in a bungalow, isn't the upstairs the roof? I don't blame you for not allowing anyone to poo up there!

BuzzBuzzBuzzLightyear Thu 08-Jun-17 20:51:18

Oh good I thought this was going to be another melodramatic Tory bashing thread.

GrumpyOldBag Thu 08-Jun-17 20:53:38

You may be a bit unhinged if you feel the need to dictate where people do their poos ... I mean, as long as it's on the toilet with the door closed, what does it matter?

mctat Thu 08-Jun-17 20:57:47

YABU for having a loo you're not allowed to poo on.

ArgyMargy Thu 08-Jun-17 21:00:20

YABU. What on earth do you think is going to happen? I don't have a problem with eating/drinking while on the loo. Saves time. I do have my own bathroom though grin

mrsBeverleygoldberg Thu 08-Jun-17 21:02:50

Eating on the toilet is a bit gross.
'I've failed as a mother.'grin

Lowdoorinthewal1 Thu 08-Jun-17 21:04:18

Nobody is allowed to poo downstairs in my house but they still bloody do because then the toilet needs cleaning every time in case the next person in is a guest.

My DS also has his own bathroom at the top of the stairs. How hard is it to climb 12 steps and THEN poo to save me scrubbing skid marks??

WankStainWasher Thu 08-Jun-17 21:10:54

Lowdoor are you me? smile
MrsGoldberg thank you for getting my joke. I forgot to explicitly say this was lighthearted - now apparently I'm a stressy toilet Nazi! grin

SleightOfHand Thu 08-Jun-17 21:12:03

I wish my son had a part time job and I had a downstairs loo.

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