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Following on from the sexism thread - examples of homophobia?

(6 Posts)
LRDtheFeministDragon Wed 07-Jun-17 19:24:25

I've been interested in biscusting's thread sharing examples of sexism, here: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2948414-AIBU-to-ask-for-your-most-appalling-examples-of-sexism?

Can we do examples of homophobia too, please? I am wide-eyed and innocent as I was married to a man before I met DP, but I have had a delightful crash course in it all since DP and I had our daughter. I have had the classics about DD growing up warped for lack of male role models. But my other favourites include:

- my mother, who believes that any discussion of homosexual people's lives or histories, is 'a bit rude'. Since my work includes a substantial amount of time spent researching lesbian histories, she is convinced that much of what I'm doing won't be taken seriously and/or is a waste of serious people's time, because it's 'a bit rude'.

- a medic who literally couldn't answer questions about sexual activity in early pregnancy/post-partum, except by discussing risks of conception.

- My parents' explanation: 'Your niece asked if two women could get married, and I said no. It was simpler'. (My niece has not one, but two sets of lesbian aunties).

I am sure others will pop into my head, and I am sure people with LGBT children will have different perspectives, but if anyone else would like to join in, that might be rather soothing (and maybe even funny for us all).

CaoNiMartacus Wed 07-Jun-17 19:54:24

My mother thinks men are only gay because they can't find a woman. I have a very attractive gay male friend, whom she finds completely perplexing. "But Ryan is so HANDSOME. Surely he could find a girl."

Another one from my mother. She has wedding photos of my three cousins with their heterosexual spouses. I gave her a photograph of me and my late female partner, but she refuses to display it. She seems to think that because my partner is a) dead and b) a woman her picture shouldn't be displayed. angry

LRDtheFeministDragon Wed 07-Jun-17 20:08:12

Oh, cao, that's awful. sad

Really, truly awful.

CaoNiMartacus Wed 07-Jun-17 20:11:10

It still astonishes me when I think of it!

And then there's my father, who was aghast when I cut my long hair very short. "You'll lose your femininity," he said. That's kind of the point, dad ;)

LRDtheFeministDragon Wed 07-Jun-17 20:21:54

grin My mum and your dad have the same views.

My mum is incapable of looking at my hair without sighing, and telling me how much nicer it looked longer, and doesn't DP think so?

Since DP has exactly the same kind of short hair, no, she doesn't!

Apollo440 Wed 07-Jun-17 20:45:44

My friend's mother excluded him from her will because he was gay. And she stated that as the reason in the Will shock.
He is her only child and could have done with the money as he is now on disability benefits (with all the persecution that goes with it).
After finding out about his sexuality his mother was initially furious and wouldn't talk to him for months. She eventually got over her anger and as time went on the relationship normalised, she even used to meet his partner and send them gifts. However, when she died last year, this 16 year old will came to light, which she apparently made in anger after finding out he was gay. Can't believe she still felt that way at the time of her death, apparently she kept saying that she must make a will (perhaps a reminder to herself to revoke the 'hate' will) but perhaps her own ill health distracted her from doing so (she was practically housebound for the last 8 years of her life).
My friend wrote to the trustees of the NHS Trust she left the money to asking if they would consider turning down such a tainted bequest but they hid behind lawyers saying it was all perfectly fine under English law. I thought it might be a moral dilemma, I mean, if she left the money to the Trust and said it could be used to treat anyone but gay or black people would be happy to accept it? I think not. Is being gifted the money only because he was gay any different?
Seems odd that it is illegal to not bake a cake for someone because they are gay but this explicit discrimination is OK.

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