To think you should help tidy up after playgroup?

[GreenShorts]

I mean the sort that churches run with volunteers for a pretty nominal cost. At the end of my local one every week the same people sit on their backside whilst everyone else pitches in.

This obviously excludes anyone who might find this difficult (we sometimes have grandparents and I completely understand they may find it difficult). But the people who have happily been running around after their children until tidy up time comes around. Am I unreasonable to think they should get up and help?

[ImperialBlether]

Yes, of course! Everyone should spend a few minutes helping rather than one or two doing it all.

[NorthumbrianGirl]

Absolutely!

[PeaFaceMcgee]

is it alright if you do (that area) whilst I tidy up the duplo, thanks!

Breezy or hard stare, your choice!

[Blueredballoon]

All of playgroups I've ever attended have had a really clear 'it's tidy up time everyone!' section before songs etc at the end, so no one has ignored it. Lazy to do so definitely!

[Allthebestnamesareused]

Yes - tidy up time and then songs to finish. This makes sure everyone who is able to does help.

[CaulkheadUpNorf]

I have no issue with saying to people "can you tidy away the duplo (or whatever) please". I'm then overly thankful to them and make a comment about how great it is when everyone helps. Is that an option?

[Increasinglymiddleaged]

Yanbu at all, people who go to toddler groups should all pitch in somehow. Bizarrely enough the grandparents were more likely not less likely to do this ime. Yes OK not everyone can lug boxes around (back problems/ pregnancy etc) but if you are physically capable of looking after a child you are capable of putting toys in boxes/ helping clear up after snack time etc.

[Gowgirl]

Is that my people....you know who you are

[Increasinglymiddleaged]

Yes - tidy up time and then songs to finish. This makes sure everyone who is able to does help.

Nope at ours everyone just legged it out and there was no one left for singing.

[WeAllHaveWings]

Same with most clubs, we see it at ds's footie, it's the same people every week who help take the goals apart etc and put away while the others say I pay to attend not get involved. For only £20 a month they get 2 x 1.5 hr training a week and a match on Saturday, free training kit, free laundered match kit, entry into multiple tournaments each year. I don't think helping the volunteer coaches for 15 mins after training now and again is too much to ask!

[TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth]

Oh this bugs me. I took my youngest two to a wonderful church toddler group. So many activities and wonderful homemade cakes and food. Was a lovely group and such a bargain. Same lazy arses used to just sit there each week whilst other parents/ minders and the predominantly elderly volunteers put away large toys, playsets, etc.

[GreenShorts]

I'm so glad I'm not being unreasonable. It makes me so cross. It's at least 5-6 people doing it each time. I would feel a bit rude saying anything because I'm not running the group. The best I do is passive aggressively tidy up right next to them hoping to shame them in to it.

[GreenShorts]

Oh and to clarify it is tidy up time and then singing. They just literally sit there and watch people tidy around them.

[FloralTribute]

What increasingly said, when I used to go to one. I've never seen people evaporate so fast at the words 'tidy up'. The same two or three of us took out the toys and equipment, cups, tea etc, boiled up the urn, arranged a chair barrier so a four year old on a tractor didn't crush the babies, baked or bought something, then put everything away again. We then spent months trying to arrange a rota to continue the playgroup after I'd gone back to work and the two other involved people's' children had started school, but no one was interested, and it closed down.

[VoidoidDash]

Eek I hope nobody thought badly of me for not helping. If my kids made to the end of a toddler group they panicked at the transion and we would leave sharpish (asd).

One toddler group had a rota system for members to set up and tidy away (very large group) and the other very small group had one or two paid staff to tidy yet everyone still pitched in anyways (except me, as mentioned above)

[hennybeans]

This is my bug bear too. I run a non profit village group and am a parent with my own child there as well. Every single week everything falls on me and about three others. Not so much tidying up, but making snack, wiping up, washing up, making endless teas and coffees, setting up the craft. There are only roughly 8 of us and we all know each other well. Why do half the mums never offer to help? I think some people have the idea that they've paid their £2 so are entitled to sit and relax. I've paid £2 as well!

[GreenShorts]

Void there's a few children who obviously can't cope with the music session and I don't think badly of their parents at all.

Henny that's exactly it! The I've paid entitlement complex. If everyone acted like that it would take forever for the poor volunteers to tidy away.

[Splandy]

I've been feeling some guilt about this. Recently started going to a local playgroup. No crafts etc but there are toys in a large cupboard. I've never been there when it begins so have no idea whether it is set up in advance or people have to take them out. There is a particular woman who seems to be in charge and it is free. Every time I've been I'm unable to tidy up. It it supposed to finish at 3 but it seems to run later and I have to walk to pick up my eldest son, so I end up leaving just as they start tidying away. I can't exactly start tidying things away while other children are still playing with them but I do feel like a rude cow swanning off and wonder whether they think badly of me.

[picklemepopcorn]

Splandy, if you mention to the lady who runs it that you need to leave to collect your son, she'll understand and the word will spread. You could ask if there is a little job you could do ahead of time, if that would help.

[outabout]

@Void and Splandy. If you need to disappear 'sharpish' for what you say are good reasons (not doubting you) then maybe finding a little something to do to help during the session might be a nice gesture for the ones who put away regularly especially if you chat and say that you have another appointment or whatever.
I would help with washing up to avoid the singing!
Sadly this 'paid entitlement' thing goes with most voluntary occasions.

[Increasinglymiddleaged]

Splandy offer to help with set up instead

[Increasinglymiddleaged]

And to put it into perspective the rude cows are the ones who sit around chatting while others are clearing away and don't even supervise their DC/ stop them getting the toys back out

[lalalalyra]

People are rude and think tidying away is beneath them sometimes. I was asked by a parent at Easter why the children tidy up at the playscheme rather than the staff (who everyone knows are all volunteer workers already giving up their time).

[FATEdestiny]

Some odd assumptions on the meaning of the word "volunteer" here.

The groups run by voluentees are run by those volunteers - not by the collective, unless that is made clear upon joining. When you step forward and say you volunteer, you are doing so with some expected level of responsibility on you.

Some other people volunteer to help out on an add-hoc basis - set up, clear away, make tea, wash up - as and when they can. Great. Suck people voluenteervolunteer with that level of responsibility.

Other people choose not to volunteer. Either at all, or in the capacity of playgroup. They should not be berated, treated agressively (passive or otherwise), or expected to feel guilty. If they just want to go to a group with their toddler and go home at the end, so be it.

They have not volunteered. They have just turned up to use a service. If there is an expectation that anyone who doesn't help is disliked or unwelcome - this expectation should be stated at the door upon entering. They can choose to stay and help then, or leave.

Passive agressive bull shit from people who don't understand volunteering

[Rockaby]

I agree with FATE.

I go to a couple of these groups.

One, I always tidy up at the end, as do about half the people who attend.

The other, nobody does, as the organisers wait for us all to leave before they start clearing up. A separate group of volunteers, who don't especially want to help with the children, come in to shift everything. It's quite a big operation I think, as the toys all have to be taken out of the room and into storage upstairs.

At the group where I do tidy up, it has never occurred to me to think badly of those who don't. Why would I? I don't mind tidying up. Maybe they don't have time, or are tired out. It's putting duplo in a box fgs, not a worthiness competition.