Advanced search

AIBU to be mortified school informed my 5 year old about the terrorist incidents?

(171 Posts)
Mumofone1970 Wed 07-Jun-17 13:37:11

My son is in Year 1 but one of the youngest so is still 5.
Yesterday at school the teacher explained what had happened over the weekend to the class and they did a one minute silence.
I had not spoken to my son about it.
He is 5 years old, I work in London daily and I didn't think him having the weight of that worry was necessary.
I am appalled the school took it on themselves, without asking persmission to tell him.
I only have the one child so this is new to be but so far I am less than impressed with the school system in general but this is above and beyond all my other small issues.

WaitrosePigeon Wed 07-Jun-17 13:39:47

I don't really see the problem?

Mulberry72 Wed 07-Jun-17 13:41:47

I don't see the problem either.

Broccolirevolution Wed 07-Jun-17 13:42:24

Chances are, there are children in the class with older siblings who would know all about it. It's better the teacher told them tactfully rather than a child told them a dramatic version of events.

plantsitter Wed 07-Jun-17 13:42:29

It's a judgement call. I'd rather the school told my kid the real (presumably simplified) story than she heard a dramatised and garbled version form her mate.

I wish we could protect our children from all this but we can't.

HanarCantWearSweaters Wed 07-Jun-17 13:43:20

You're very embarrassed the school told your 5 yo about the terrorist attacks? Maybe you mean horrified. Either way YABU.

gallicgirl Wed 07-Jun-17 13:43:44

It's such a difficult decision.
DD is in year 1 too but at 6 is older than your child. She's a bright kid but oblivious to the world around her really. She's unaware of the terrorist attacks because we don't watch the news when the children are around. It's not a deliberate decision to hide the world from them but she's not interested and I see no reason to force the horror on to her. If she asks, I will tell her in an age appropriate way.
However, I really didn't know what to do about the London attacks. I know school trips have been cancelled so there's a chance older children are talking about them. I would hate for her to get the information from another child on the playground so in that sense, maybe it's better for the teacher to control the way they are told about the attacks. I'm not sure I'd be happy about it though.

carjacker1985 Wed 07-Jun-17 13:44:05

Not sure you mean 'mortified', but in any event YABU. Even if they hadn't announced it there's every chance it would have come up from another child.

FormerlyFrikadela01 Wed 07-Jun-17 13:44:35

I was on work experience at a first school when 9/11 happened. The day after it was discussed in assembly.
Some of the children will know about it and will therefore talk about it. Would you rather your child heard tales in the playground that will no doubt be elaborated upon for effect or heard that facts in an age appropriate manner from the teachers?

NoCapes Wed 07-Jun-17 13:45:52


My DC's friend was at Ariana Grandes concert when it was attacked, some children don't have the choice about having the 'weight of the worry' on their shoulders

It's just the world we live in now unfortunately

Better to be told by an adult in a child friendly and factual way, than hear exaggerated horror stories in the playground surely?

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid Wed 07-Jun-17 13:46:49


My eldest is in year 1 too. Her classmates have been talking about it. I'm glad her teacher also discussed the attack with the class.

Much better to have her learning these things from her teacher than just her classmates.

offblackeggshell Wed 07-Jun-17 13:47:15

I'd always rather my child heard it in an age appropriate way from a teacher in a controlled environment than the playground. YABU.

FormerlyFrikadela01 Wed 07-Jun-17 13:47:38

Also I was in a shopping centre this morning and there were 2 police officers walking around holding what looked like machine guns. The world is changing and children will question that and need to know why.

JamAndBread Wed 07-Jun-17 13:49:09

Do you mean mortified?

I understand that you want to protect him from it. However what happens is some children come into school talking about it and usually get it completely wrong in the process or repeat some extreme opinion they've overheard at home.

The school's view is probably that it's better to hear about it handled sensitivity from their teacher.

UnderneaththeArchers Wed 07-Jun-17 13:49:37

The school don't need to ask permission each time they discuss something. If you send your child to school you have to accept that sometimes they will talk about issues in a way you would not. It is part of your child having a life separate to you.

Mia1415 Wed 07-Jun-17 13:50:05

I wouldn't have a problem with it personally.

My son is only 4 and I explained what had happened (in simple and age appropriate terms).

P1nkP0ppy Wed 07-Jun-17 13:50:12

'mortified' ?
I would assume it was done in an age-appropriate manner? I can fully understand your misgivings but I would be happy that all the class got the same information.

LauraMoon Wed 07-Jun-17 13:50:35


sysysysref Wed 07-Jun-17 13:50:36

I think that it's really important that the school told them. There will be other children in the class who do know about them and it's much better that they hear a factual age appropriate account of them where they have the opportunity to ask questions from the teacher than from other children in the playground who are much more likely to frighten and confuse them.

Itsjustaphase2016 Wed 07-Jun-17 13:50:54

But does your dc not see the news when you have it on? Or ask what you and DH/your friends are talking about when you chat about it?
My DD5 asked on Sunday morning when I was taking to DH about at it at breakfast time,and I told her.

LivininaBox Wed 07-Jun-17 13:51:05

YANBU. There is no need for a 5 yr old to know about it unless they or friends have been directly affected. All children are different and I know mine would be very upset and traumatised if he knew. A better response would be for teachers to deal with it as and when it comes up.

Obviously children who were at the concert will need to discuss what happened but I don't see why this is an argument for telling all children?

LagunaBubbles Wed 07-Jun-17 13:51:47

When your DC go to school you have to accept you cant micro manage their lives as much OP, not just the school itself but classmates etc.

Laniakea Wed 07-Jun-17 13:52:36

why are you embarrassed?

were you intending to talk to him about it at some later point & school got there first?

summerisles Wed 07-Jun-17 13:52:48

My husband uses the word "mortified" in that context. One day I may have to divorce him over it.

YABU. The school were showing their respect to the victims. You should be proud that he is getting a good education.

rainbowunicorn Wed 07-Jun-17 13:54:32

Here we go again, every time there is an incident we get all the pearl clutchers coming on saying how the school are terrible for telling the children the truth about the world. Your child would have found out in the playground from older children or from their peers. What would you rather, the school giving facts in an age appropriate way or a bunch of kids making up the bits they didn't know and passing it on to the little ones?

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: