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Sex noise from neighbours at 5am

(38 Posts)
AteRiri Tue 06-Jun-17 01:05:13

I have recently moved to a new apartment and my neighbours seem to like morning sex, as I often hear their loud sex noises in the morning.

I'm more amused than I mind, but anyone else here have noisy neighbours? How do you react when you bump into them outside the house?

I rarely see them.

ClemDanfango Tue 06-Jun-17 01:08:53

My mum lived above 'the noisy shaggers' as she named them.
She finally had enough one day and found an article about complaints against noisy sex neighbours and posted it through their door grin it did the trick 😂

UsaNayme Tue 06-Jun-17 01:17:46

My neighbours used to have sex every day at 3am and 8am like clockwork. Every single day of the week. Then another neighbour (they shared a bedroom wall) went over to punch the man's lights out because he was so sleep deprived.

He didn't get to punch him, but it stopped them having sex at 8am

Then another neighbour, who also shared a bedroom wall (it was a shoddy block of flats with an apartment on 3 sides of yours), would slam the wall every time they had sex. So hard I could hear it sometimes and I didn't share a wall with that neighbour.

That stopped them having sex at 3am.

CondensedMilkSarnies Tue 06-Jun-17 01:23:12

I don't get why some people make such a racket during sex confused. I understand that beds squeak but it's all the ooooih yeeees , harder , faster etc screamed at 10000000000 decibels that bemuses me ! < remembers old next door neighbours>

( maybe I've been doing it wrong). grin

UsaNayme Tue 06-Jun-17 01:25:36

CondensedMilkSarnies or when they let the headboard slam. Just pull the fucking thing away from the wall

paxillin Tue 06-Jun-17 01:27:46

Re-name your WIFI "IcanHearYouShaggingAt5am".

UsaNayme Tue 06-Jun-17 01:31:20

Actually, another time this happened to me, same shitty block of flats.

Woman below me sang like an opera singer every time she orgasmed. It was always at a reasonable time so I never complained, just put some music on, but it was most days

Then found out that her husband was going round telling all the other neighbours that I had sex too loudly and it bothered him. I hadn't had sex in about a year and they'd moved in 6 months ago, the bastard

takeabreakthatslife Tue 06-Jun-17 01:37:29

My friend had this and played the birdie song at full volume against the every time they started

Itsnotwhatitseems Tue 06-Jun-17 01:58:19

Try this on their door

Dear Neighbour
Last night I believe I could hear you having sex, do you mind being louder? It was hard for me to masterbate while holding a cup to the wall.
Love the guy at number 8

paxillin Tue 06-Jun-17 02:32:48

But you asked about noisy neighbours, OP. I had a neighbour who was retching out who-knows-what at 7am to coincide with my shower. It started as snorting something inwards through his nose chrrrr chrrr chrrr, then about ten non-cough huuuurgh huuurgh huuuuurghs followed by noisy mixing in his mouth before noisy expulsion. I had to move my shower time forward, it was so disturbing.

LadyB49 Tue 06-Jun-17 03:24:45

I banged on the wall a few times..
All sorted.

PyongyangKipperbang Tue 06-Jun-17 03:38:36

Torn between "Noisy sex neighbour complaints" articles through the letter box and changing the WIFI name.

Coming down slightly on the side of changing the WIFI as there is a good chance that anyone else who can hear them will see it too, and it will make their day!

I would start with

Wecanhearyoushagging

then

stophavingnoisysexat5am

and finish up with

Giveupmatesheisfakingit

PyongyangKipperbang Tue 06-Jun-17 03:40:05

And sex noise is usually from the woman and ime its because she is trying to convince him she is orgasming so he gets on with it! Maybe I am jaded but usually the louder the orgasm the faker it is!

Kittymum03 Tue 06-Jun-17 04:37:50

When I lived in my studio flat it was the 17 year old boy who lived above me that I could hear. (I know he was 17 as I heard him on the phone giving his dob once. Walls were that thin) He used to make these awful loud grunting noises, ending with a loud 'Aaaaaah' as well as the squeaking of the bed. He had a really deep voice which didnt help. She barely made a sound it was all him. Every night and every morning. once, it lasted longer and she was getting noisier and noisier. I'm sat there cringing trying to cover my ears thinking 'Maybe he's finally doing it for her' then he stopped as he reached his end. And I felt really sorry for her as, from what I heard, she didn't get to finish grin

TheNaze73 Tue 06-Jun-17 07:45:52

F

TheNaze73 Tue 06-Jun-17 07:47:01

Fair play to them however, I don't think there is the need for the 3am chorus.
Definitely, change your wifi name.

MsMarvel Tue 06-Jun-17 07:51:42

Usanayme, maybe its not the husband that the woman is practicing her opera singing with.... And someone spoke to him about it so the wife blamed you to cover her ass!

UsaNayme Tue 06-Jun-17 16:55:05

MsMarvel No, it was definitely him. He smoked​ so much weed that you could tell when he was in as it seeped through the ceiling

justkeepswimmingg Tue 06-Jun-17 17:20:18

Love threads like this grin
When we lived in flats several years ago there was a couple who used to fight/argue often. You'd hear plates being thrown, screaming etc and then it would go silent. You'd then hear them having really really loud make up sex. Me and DH found it quite funny tbh. Although I had a hard time looking at them when I said hello, the morning after..

ForalltheSaints Tue 06-Jun-17 17:27:21

Applause could be one tactic.

Mummamayhem Tue 06-Jun-17 17:31:43

3am daily? God, sounds tiring!

Chewie198686 Tue 06-Jun-17 17:32:02

Go round and ask to join in

Farmerswifeupnorth81 Tue 06-Jun-17 17:32:40

I love a morning rumble . Thank god we have no neighbours haha

AteRiri Sat 10-Jun-17 10:01:04

Of course I'd bump into my neighbour! I couldn't look at him in the eyes lol

babykite Sat 10-Jun-17 10:39:58

I'm a noisy fucker grin neighbours have never complained so maybe they can't hear me
Or OP are you my NDNshock

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