AIBU to think that everyone should just get a grip and stop whining?(36 Posts)
I don't know anyone directly affected by either the Manchester bomb or the latest terrorist incident in London, but I can't get either event out of my mind. I'm thinking particularly today of the parents of Eilidh MacLeod who will be burying their child and the many other parents who will be facing that devastating task in the days to come.
Yes, we have to get on with our own lives but these incidents have given me perspective. I am getting increasingly fed up with people whining about trivial things - "Someone has parked in MY space outside my house" or "the girl on the checkout was rude to me".
Why don't we just count our blessings, hug our children and be thankful that we are still all in one piece?
Nah. Awful things happen to innocent people all the time, every day. I can still get riled about non life threatening stuff though.
To be human is to moan.
Trouble is, that extends. Only burying one child? What about the family that buries two and has no house to go home to?!
We can "count our blessings, hug our children and be thankful that we are still all in one piece" AND STILL complain about the checkout assistant/shit parking/weather/untidy cupboard.
No whdn our dd was so badly injured we lived like that for a while. It's not a good place to be. Life has to go on and trivial annoyances are what makes us human as are trivial joys.
No. I disagree.
It doesn't have to be an either / or approach.
Moaning is fine. Life is full of the mundane and the trivial. It doesn't mean that we disrespect the reality of life for others.
There's a lot of awful stuff going on in the world. But that doesn't mean we can ignore stuff that's happening to us because there is much worse stuff happening.
You are massively BU
First, to decide which incident should give people perspective. You are being touched by Manchester and London, but have clearly ignored other atrocities.
Two, you have no right to dictate people's life. It's the beauty of this country. Sadly, everyone has to overcome a drama at some point: loss of a loved one, illness, car crash. Others still have a life to live.
Little annoyances and happy times are still there, why should we ignore them.
I crossed London Bridge to go to work this morning. You can be incredibly sad, and still annoyed if someone walks on your foot.
"I'm thinking particularly today of the parents of Eilidh MacLeod who will be burying their child and the many other parents who will be facing that devastating task in the days to come."
I'm sure that must be devastating. But it's just as devastating for those people who have lost their fiance, their wife, their husband. Not everyone is a parent and it is JUST as devastating for them. If you want to count your blessings, fine, but hug everyone, not just your children. Devastation and grief is not a contest or more important if you're a parent.
It's like saying "things can always be worse"
Which is rarely ever helpful advice.
Besides, people complaining about parking spaces and other mundane things might have some pretty shitty throngs going on in their lives and the mundane things might either be the safe thing to complain about or the straw that broke the camels back.
The fight against terrorism is the fight for the freedom to live ordinary, boring lives where we are free to moan about trivialities and niggles, because life isn't all that bad really. Knowing that we can gripe about relatively inconsquential matters, because we're not living in constant fear, and that these petty things are the worst we have to worry about, is an integral part of a free existence.
It might surprise the OP to know I am perfectly capable of being shocked and horrified by things like the Manchester/London attacks... and also pissed off by the twunt of a neighbour along the street being stalkerish demanding house numbers and following you home if you dare park near her house.
Emotions are not generally finite resources.
I am, however, utterly utterly pissed off and sick of the MN emotion police that have been out in force since Manchester, and re-mobilised into action after London - telling everyone what they are and are not allowed to think, feel and say and acting like the arbiters of righteousness. So, dear OP... please, be honoured and have my first ever, passive-aggressive, MN biscuit
I have buried a child and have obviously been devastated by it. I still moan about things. Probably more so now.
You're not being realistic OP.
I've buried one child and will bury another in my lifetime.
I still whinge and moan like a professional whinger and moaner.
YABU. It has sod-all to do with you OP, (or anyone else,) how anyone grieves, or how long they do it for.
What difference does it make to you?
YOU are the only one I see 'whining' here.
I'm sure that lovely girls family won't be thinking 'well this is what we have to deal with so all you people with trivial shit problems are selfish as fuck'
While I agree that it is a good thing to remind ourselves of our blessings, it does not mean we cannot still be upset/mildly riled/really annoyed about other things.
Everybody has their own cross to bear, and just because somebody else's may be heavier, does not make their own any lighter.
But I take your point - perspective can be helpful.
I too am today thinking of Eilidh and her family
People are allowed to moan about life ffs!
NEWS FLASH SOMEONE WILL ALWAYS BE WORSE OFF THAN YOU
You can say;
Don't ever moan about your parents, x doesn't have any
Home can you moan about your home, with all the homeless living on the streets
How can you find a day tough with your dc when lots of people can't have children
How can you moan your dinner wasnt nice, with people going hungry
How can you book a holiday, when people can't afford to live
Many people (including myself) have had to bury our own child and you know life is still allowed to get you down and having a winge is not a crime.
I can feel sadness for the people caught up in the terrible events and still have a moan about my wish if I wish to do so
So OP your never going wo moan about anything ever again then?
Events like this can give us perspective, but as life carries on people will whinge about minutiae. It's normal. Healthy even (IMO). And somewhere like MN will make you notice a lot of whingeing, just because it's appropriate to come on here and talk about all sorts.
Pacific and OP I hope you'll be thinking of the victim and family of every victim of the Manchester and London attacks on each and every day of a funeral. Don't get me wrong, it is totally and utterly tragic, but the internet and newspapers are chock full of coverage of this poor girl's funeral today. There will not be similar coverage of every other victim's funeral. I suspect some of them won't even be mentioned. They are NO less important or worthy of thought just because they weren't children or teenagers.
Sorry if that comes over the wrong way, but it's becoming as if some people are more deserving of thought because of their age. I don't agree. Every life taken in this way is a life taken too soon and no more important than another.
Bit like coming on aibu to moan about people moaning?
YABU as you know. Its entirely possible to feel deep shock and sadness at one event but moan about something else. Its not one or the other.
Coddi said "You have clearly ignored other atrocities"
How would you know? I HAVE been affected by other events, some directly, I just chose not to air them on MN. Glad you had a safe journey to work.
To other posters - I'm not a parent BTW and I value all human life equally.
ShatnersWig I think that the media are making a lot of Eilidh's funeral because it's the first and also because of the unusual setting. It's certainly different when you fly into Barra and land on the beach and the juxtaposition of such a sad occasion in a stunningly beautiful setting is very poignant.
But that does not make it any more important than any other funeral. Every human life is to be valued
Being grateful for what we have is so important imo. But the saying, "My one broken leg hurts more than both your broken legs" has some truth in it. Just knowing that so many people have it worse than us right now, doesn't always take away the pain or stress we are going through. And as Pinkheart illustrates, where do you draw the line?
I remember when my DD was in NICU just saying that if she would just be ok, I'd never complain about anything, or ask for anything else, ever again. 31 years later, I have to say I've failed miserably. We absolutely can appreciate what we do have, feel for others going through hell, while also getting on with the nitty gritty of life and all the shit that brings at times.
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