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If I go for Asperger's assessment....

(71 Posts)
Reading300 Mon 05-Jun-17 08:48:31

I've always had some problems in the workplace (Same job but different places )
Mainly with people junior to me making mistakes, needing prompted to do things etc and situations have sometimes lead to some conflict
I've been wondering over the last year if I have Asperger's as I do have some of the traits / symptoms
Nobody else in equivalent positions seems to struggle with it so much / have so many problems.
In social situations I do not have any problems but apart from that a lot of the Aspergers traits/ symptoms seem to ring true with me.
I was also wondering- if I pay privately and was diagnosed, can I keep this information to myself or am I obliged to disclose it ?
In reality, I probably would disclose it ,say to family at first , but could I keep it confidential if I wanted ? Thanks

BeepBeepMOVE Mon 05-Jun-17 08:50:40

Out of interest why do you want a diagnosis as an adult? And what difference do you feel it would make telling your family? Do you need it to explain some of your behaviour or do you think it would help them understand you.

BeepBeepMOVE Mon 05-Jun-17 08:51:24

Only asking as a friend of mine is attempting to get a diagnosis in her thirties and Im a bit confused as to why.

Reading300 Mon 05-Jun-17 08:55:38

I think it would help me understand myself better and if I needed to tell other people,they would understand me better as well .
I do get v. anxious about things but I'm just wondering if there's more to it than that

Witchitywoo Mon 05-Jun-17 08:59:31

My DP was diagnosed a couple of years ago (late 40's) and it's been a godsend. It explains some of his behaviour and reaction to situations. We've also accessed specific counseling and it's helped DP to understand why previous relationships haven't worked and why his childhood was so dreadful. So it's been a positive experience for us.

LoisSanger Mon 05-Jun-17 09:01:00

I wonder about getting an assessment for autism - I would like to actually know it's that that makes me different and out of kilter with much of the world. Will probably never do it though.

Reading300 Mon 05-Jun-17 09:03:28

Thanks you know if he is obliged to disclose it , say if applying for new jobs etc or could he keep it confidential if he wanted
If I was diagnosed, I'm unsure yet as to if I'd disclose it at first if it's not necessary .

aModernApproach Mon 05-Jun-17 09:10:14

if I needed to tell other people,they would understand me better as well

I think you're over-estimating the general person's unerstanding of Asperger's Syndrome

I think it would help me understand myself better

How? I'm asking genuinely.

How would a label help you understand yourself? Are you clued up enough that any form of PDD would enable you to think about yourself and say 'ah, that explains a, b, c'? How would effect would it have on you if you don't get an Asperger's diagnosis? What would you look to 'blame' then?

Sisinisawa Mon 05-Jun-17 09:14:20

Blame?? Amodern you clearly don't understand at all.

I'm also seeking a formal diagnosis having been given a verbal one when my daughter was diagnosed.

It's so helpful to know and understand why I see things the way I do.

I don't think you have to disclose it if you don't want to.

There are lots of helpful Facebook groups for autistic women that are worth joining. You don't need an official diagnosis.

aModernApproach Mon 05-Jun-17 09:22:53

Blame was in inverted commas.

"you clearly don't understand at all."

Yes. Clearly.

Do tell me, what's a "verbal one when my daughter was diagnosed" because no professional worth their salt would give a verbal diagnosis (whatever that is) to someone accompanying someone else.

Reading300 Mon 05-Jun-17 09:27:50

aModern - I thought most people did have a better understanding of Asperger's nowadays. And it would help me understand my actions/ reactions in certain situations if I was diagnosed .

number1wang Mon 05-Jun-17 09:29:03

If you go private (and don't involve your GP by needing a referral letter) then you can request that if you get a diagnosis then you don't want your GP copied in on the specialist's letter. That way the diagnosis doesn't go into your NHS medical records.

If the diagnosis is not on your medical records then you would never have to disclose it to anyone unless you wanted to.

bungle99 Mon 05-Jun-17 09:30:18

I don't think you have to disclose it to employer. I think there's something in disabilty act which states that you do not have to disclose but can if you think it will affect how you do your job (don't take my word for it). If you do it privately do not give them GP details so it doesn't go on your NHS record.

ChasedByBees Mon 05-Jun-17 09:31:00

I'm not sure people do understand it. You only have to read on here, I remember one woman writing about a problematic neighbour and she was advised to make intense eye contact, if the neighbour was uncomfortable then he was probably autistic and the woman should take that into account.

Any time there's a mention of someone being an arse, someone else suggests autism.

ChasedByBees Mon 05-Jun-17 09:31:55

By the way, what are the traits? I've looked online and find it difficult to find these.

PaintingByNumbers Mon 05-Jun-17 09:33:22

you can keep it confidential if you want. it can be helpful in understanding yourself. they might ask for reports from parents about childhood, but I guess thats not compulsory as many parents might not still be alive. what steps have you taken to address your issues at work? im wondering why it only seems to happen with those inferior in status to you, which issuggesting you can control your behaviour but choose not to?

ShelaghTurner Mon 05-Jun-17 09:33:46

I'm thinking about a diagnosis and for me it's purely about how I see myself. As it stands I feel useless, stupid, strange, odd, not normal, I criticise everything I do, I hate myself for being weird. If I knew there was an actual reason then that gives me permission to forgive myself, if you see what I mean. I think maybe you have to be it, or close to it to really understand. And they isnt meant as a criticism. smile

aModernApproach Mon 05-Jun-17 09:34:34


Despite being told that I don't know what I'm talking about, I do. In quite some detail.

My questions to you were genuine and purely to have you question a little what purpose you feel a DX would have. on your life. You think it would help you understand your reactions which is a very reasonable arguement.

How would you feel if you were told you don't have Aspergers? Would it make it much harder to understand why you are the way you are? I've seen the effect that not getting the expected DX can have on parents. They're sure their child has X. It turns out they don't and they're lost in the wilderness, not knowing where to look next.

You may be right about everything else but you're very wrong (in my professional experience) about Joe Public's understanding of Asperger's, Autism or the other 5 PDDs.

bungle99 Mon 05-Jun-17 09:39:10

OP you are correct in saying that a diagnosis may help you. Even if you are not far enough along for a diagnosis and have some traits coping strategies for aspergers may help. If your traits are sensory related then looking at Sensory Processing Disorder may help. DC has aspergers. We now realise DH prob has it and explains why he gets so agitated in certain situations. I also have traits, but different ones, and explains a few things. Knowing that I'm quite high up on the spectrum (but not enough for diagnosis) means I make allowances for it e.g. Try to only book one hospital appt a week otherwise it gets overwhelming. Don't have social engagements on consecutive nights (max once a week) or I get overloaded and can't keep on top of anything.

StatisticallyChallenged Mon 05-Jun-17 09:45:47

I got diagnosed as an adult mainly because of work difficulties and I've found it quite useful.

Oldgranny Mon 05-Jun-17 09:47:05

My nephew was recently diagnosed at 40+
He lives abroad so I don't know him that well !

bungle99 Mon 05-Jun-17 09:48:05

Amodern I agree that joe public doesn't really have much understanding of aspergers/autism. OP is suggesting telling her family. When they find out they will be able to educate selves (if they want to) by reading a book.
For example, now that I know DH has probably got it, I know he's not just being difficult when he's getting stressed about being in crowds with lots of people bumping into him. Or that me putting my coat on 'his' coat peg is annoying smile

Dawndonnaagain Mon 05-Jun-17 10:26:31

Do tell me, what's a "verbal one when my daughter was diagnosed" because no professional worth their salt would give a verbal diagnosis (whatever that is) to someone accompanying someone else.
We frequently let the parent know it would be worth their while pursuing their own diagnosis.

Dawndonnaagain Mon 05-Jun-17 10:28:24


Looneytune253 Mon 05-Jun-17 10:34:26

I've thought about this a lot. Not for me but fory husband and daughter. We went through the camhs route for my daughter but because she has an imagination he said the chances of an official diagnosis was low. I sometimes think life would be easier with a diagnosis because it would explain some of the things she does. She manages day to day fine though so diagnosis wouldn't be massively life changing but would explain a lot about her. She's changing lots and fitting in more and more as she's growing up so I don't know whether to bother or not but I can completely understand the pull to want a diagnosis. How would you do it privately?

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