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AIBU to NOT have an issue with dp going on a lads holiday...?

(17 Posts)
MsMarvel Sat 03-Jun-17 21:22:48

Whenever I mention to anyone that dp is going away to vegas with friends, I always seem to get a surprised reaction, and a comment about me 'letting' him go.

DP has also had the same reaction when talking about his holiday to people.

We dont have kids, we have dsd every weekend, she is still going to be staying with me the weekend he is away, but hw did say he could cancel that if I didn't want extra hassle. I'm more than happy to habe her down for the weekend.

Am I in the minority to be happy for dp to be having a once in a lifetime holiday?

CakeNinja Sat 03-Jun-17 21:26:09

If you don't have an issue, you don't have an issue confused
If we all said YABU, would you go back to him and kick up a fuss? I find this weird that you're asking.
Just do your own thing, and try and care less about what other people think.

My dp goes on breaks away as do I, it's perfectly normal imo.

Deirdresbelts Sat 03-Jun-17 21:28:49

confused really not sure why you're asking.

U2HasTheEdge Sat 03-Jun-17 21:33:13

This just sounds like a post to show how cool you are and what a great step mum you are.

Good for you.

If you don't have a problem with it why would you start a thread about it? I am not sure what you want from this thread.

Enidblyton1 Sat 03-Jun-17 21:33:40

hmm YABU to say you don't have an issue with something that really isn't an issue.
Are you having a boring evening?

Ragwort Sat 03-Jun-17 21:34:20

I think it's perfectly reasonable to have separate holidays from my DH and we often go away independently but it does irritate me when people say 'oooooooh - I couldn't do that'/I couldn't bear to leave my children/do you really let your DH go away without you' and other ridiculous comments.

One of the strangest things was when a very good friend actually said to me that she couldn't bear the thought of her DH and DC enjoying themselves without her being there confused.

MsMarvel Sat 03-Jun-17 21:37:17

Sorry, I forgot to actually post the reason I was asking....blush

It was more for asking how other people would be with their dp going away, details about dsd were added as part of explanation of us not having kids together etc.

It was just I seemed surprised that there was such a negative reaction to 'allowing' a partner to go on a holiday like this, and was curious as to what is normal.

U2HasTheEdge Sat 03-Jun-17 21:44:38

Well, I took the kids on holiday once without him but that was due to the type of holiday it was. It was with my deceased ex husband's sister and she wanted to spend some time with the children and she invited us all but it was short of space so he stayed at home and looked after the pets.

Otherwise we don't do holidays separately because we haven't had a proper family holiday for so long it wouldn't seem right to not go together. Plus, dh wouldn't have anyone else to go with.

Neither of us would really want to go without the other but that's just us.

Normal is whatever works for you.

BeyondTheReasons Sat 03-Jun-17 21:48:52

It comes down to trust. My friend hates her partner going away but that's because he's cheated on her countless times ...

I work with a man who went on 3 lads holidays last year and none with his girlfriend. That in my opinion is pretty shit as she wanted to go away with him.

It's just all down to personal circumstances. You're not "cool" however for being ok with this.

MsMarvel Sat 03-Jun-17 21:51:52

I never tried to say I was being 'cool' ... hmm

WhimsicalWinnifred Sat 03-Jun-17 21:53:41

I got your point completely.

It's funny, if the male was telling the female that she wasn't allowed on holiday he would be controlling and we would be saying LTB but it's expected in the reverse.

You are not each others keepers. You cannot tell him what to nor he you.

I remember when I was first with dp and his friends partners would say I want you back at x time, like they've gained a second mother. I asked him what time he would be back. Hr said "I don't know. If I'm having a good time it'll be late. If I'm not it'll be early. I'll be back when I'm back". At first I was a bit like well a time frame would help but then I thought yeah, that makes sense. I also don't want a time frame to be home or told I can't go on holiday with my friends.

KC225 Sat 03-Jun-17 22:01:10

Your relationship your rules. If you are both happy, no problem

Emboo19 Sat 03-Jun-17 22:12:58

I find it stranger if couples never go away without each other. My parents always had holidays/long weekends with friends as well as their own hobbies/interests etc! The idea of doing everything with a partner is very odd to me.

My boyfriends going to Vegas this year and he's already been away for a long weekend on a stag do. I've got a few weekends away with friends booked too.

I think a lot of people's minds go straight to cheating to be honest. I know a few of his friends girlfriends didn't want their bf's going for that reason.
Personally I think if someone's going to cheat they will do so, regardless of where they are!

RestlessTravellerTheSequel Sat 03-Jun-17 22:17:09

U2hastheedge when you said 'cool' you forgot the add the word 'wife' in your tediously predictable post.

ThePinkOcelot Sat 03-Jun-17 22:18:44

Some people on this thread have had their cornflakes pissed on!!

My DH as been on numerous lads holidays and it never bothered me either. We're not joined at the hip.

namechange20050 Sat 03-Jun-17 22:25:38

My DH has been away numerous times with his friends as have I. I think it's good for everyone. But yeah I hate that whole thing of people saying 'ooh are you letting him go away?!'. I just roll my eyes. It's people projecting their insecurities onto your relationship. As are catty comments about you being cool!

Deirdresbelts Sun 04-Jun-17 23:52:14

Fair enough MsMarvel. I'd only be bothered if it was somewhere I'd like to go cos I would be envious! Other than that my DP could crack on.

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