AIBU to not want to 'chat'?

[oldfatandstressed]

I am the headteacher of a local school. Each Saturday I take my kids to football, and stay to watch (DS is 4). Unfortunately 3/4 of the school attend sessions too. I just want to be a mum and watch my kids, but the parents of others seem to use the time as a chance to talk about their children- like a mini parents evening, asking me how their kids are achieving and whether they are above average or not. I have politely tried to say "sorry, I'm here to watch my kid, if you like I can see you on Monday etc' and now there is a group of parents who are campaigning against me saying I am unapproachable and unfriendly. To be clear, I don't mind chatting but just not about school issues. AIBU?

[ADayGivingMeHope]

Not at all unreasonable.
Ignore the cliquey mummies.
Your personal time is precisely that.

[twoheaped]

Do you stand near them?
I would place myself across the pitch from them if possible.

Y are definitely NBU.

[DarkFloodRises]

YANBU. My friend is a doctor and says that her friends constantly ask her for medical advice at social occasions - it drives her mad!

Could you take your DC to a different football club rather than the local one?

[HildaOg]

Yanbu. Be polite but firm, "not now, I'm here to watch my child, make an appointment during the week".

[Helloitsme88]

ALso as a head I find it hard to believe you couldn't manage the situation in an appropriate and firm and friendly way and put a stop to it

[Chloe84]

now there is a group of parents who are campaigning against me saying I am unapproachable and unfriendly.

Twats. I wonder if they would say the same about a male headteacher.

Who are they campaigning to?

[Oldgranny]

Why hell wouldn't one believe her

[ScarletSienna]

So are you saying the OP is lying Hello? For what possible gain?!

[museumum]

Just say you can't talk about school issues outside of school and start chatting about the weather.
Avoiding people will make you look stand offish. You need to articulate clear boundaries.

[Squishedstrawberry4]

Are you making small chit chat about non school stuff? Are you going on holiday? What are you having for tea? Chat about the ongoing game. OTs perfectly reasonable to say you don't want to talk about school and can they make an appointment.

[SmileEachDay]

Sorry but I find This hard to believe. Due to confidentiality and data protection you cannot discuss a child so progress outside of school and to make an appointment. I just don't believe this at all

It happens. All the time.

"Confidentiality and data protection" does not stop you talking about a child with their own parent outside school. Otherwise home visits could never happen. It's a bad idea to talk to parents outside school, but not for the reasons you state.

[Squishedstrawberry4]

Get in there first with appropriaye chit chat. Set the tone.

[AwaywiththePixies27]

You need to come across a bit more Boss like. The DCs HT puts the fear of God into me. she's lovely and all and not at all unapproachable but she maintains that respectful professional distance.

We saw her in the city centre once. Quick hello from her to the DCs and me to her and then we carry on about our businesses.

[SmileEachDay]

You make a good point about posting this relatively identifiable situation (should any of the parents be on MN) situation on MN, Hello

[Squishedstrawberry4]

Set the tone with appropriate chit chat.

Be warm and kind when asking not to discuss school issues at football.

I expect some parents forget that youre not a headteacher 100% of the time.

[AwaywiththePixies27]

Sorry but I find This hard to believe. Due to confidentiality and data protection you cannot discuss a child so progress outside of school and to make an appointment. I just don't believe this at all

Helloitsme88 it really does happen! In the DCs last school, I once saw the Deputy Head nip in the cafe for her lunch and immediately had three parents sat at her table. I'm sure the reason she never went in there again was not the lovely food! I have a friend of mine who's DCs go to that school, her DS is footy mad, matches every week etc etc. Lots of parents there, some of the staff and head happen to be parents at the same place too, again, all crowding around them asking if they can have a quick word.

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

They sound like arseholes.

[Chloe84]

Sorry but I find This hard to believe. Due to confidentiality and data protection you cannot discuss a child so progress outside of school and to make an appointment. I just don't believe this at all

Hello but that is what OP is telling the parents to do - to make an appointment.

Are you 27, hello?

[VivienneWestwoodsKnickers]

Helloitsme88 nonsense. Clearly you are perfect. 🙄

Keep going OP, I'm sure you are not the only person in this boat, let alone identifiable. And frankly, even if you were, you have not disclosed anything inappropriate.

My Dad was a primary head teacher and used to get threatening phonecalls at home meaning we went ex directory; fathers trying to punch him at the school gates because little Jimmy had been excluded for punching a teacher; one mum who insisted that my Dad pick up their child every morning as he passed their door every day and they felt it was his duty to do so because they couldn't be bothered he was a teacher.

Parents can be batshit.

[Helloitsme88]

What has my age got to do with it?

[Chloe84]

*29, sorry