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AIBU but if this is what it's like out there I'm staying single!

(9 Posts)
Findingmyfeetinflipflops Thu 01-Jun-17 13:11:17

Posted on here under a different name. In the process of splitting up with H after discovering he has had numerous sexual dalliances with escorts and also work affairs. I'm coping reasonably well and have just come back from a holiday in Greece with my friends.
I was treating my holiday as therapy, good company, sunshine, meals out and plenty of wine. One day my friends all went to the beach and I decided to stay by the pool reading. I was actually reading (on my kindle so nobody could see) Leave a cheater and gain a life. I was totally engrossed but heard a man at the side of me asking if the sunbed next to me was free.

To cut a long story short I got talking to him ,albeit with much reluctance on my part initially. Anyway, he seemed very pleasant and asked if he could meet me later for a glass of wine. He told me his gf of ten years had left him. So, I met up with him and had a lovely couple of hours. At the end of the evening we kissed but nothing more. It was his last night and he asked for my number which I gave him, not too concerned about giving my no as can always block these days.

So........since I've been home he's been messaging me and suggesting we could meet up in the future. He invited me to stay at his but has emphasised the fact he wouldn't expect anything and went as far as saying he'd sleep in camper van on his drive. I've been none commital but flattered by his texts as I'm quite a bit older than him. Today he sent me a photo of himself and I can't help but see he's got a ring on his wedding finger!
I haven't asked him about it yet and I'm not that bothered ( obviously I'm bothered about him being married as wouldn't be the OW especially after what I've been through ) as I'm not looking for a relationship but it concerns me. I've been lied to for years by my H. Is this what it's like being single?

Findingmyfeetinflipflops Thu 01-Jun-17 13:22:55

Just to add last year on holiday with the same friends, some of who are single, a group of men were chatting to us in a bar. A couple of them ended up getting involved in a holiday romance with my single friends . There were promises, to my friends, of meeting up when home although they lived quite a distance away in the U.K.

On our departure at the end of the holiday we were at the airport and noticed these men at their gate putting their wedding rings on! I mean really I just give up!

MovingtoParadise Thu 01-Jun-17 13:31:27

Maybe it's an older photograph from when he was married? And THEN he had the ten year girlfriend?

Or is it a recent photo?

I'd casually ask 'oh your wearing your wedding ring, when were you married'?

Findingmyfeetinflipflops Thu 01-Jun-17 13:32:54

Yes it was a photo taken today so hmmmm.....

Findingmyfeetinflipflops Thu 01-Jun-17 13:37:13

I don't understand people that's what I'm struggling with. I'm not ready for a relationship but I'm up for a bit of flirtation maybe and who can blame me after years of being in an open marriage which I wasn't informed of apparently!

I don't get why he mentioned me visiting him and he'd stay in camper van on path. Am I living in some kind of crazy parallel universe where people speak in a language I don't understand? I think I'm safer looking at furniture and stuff for my new home away from cheating H.

Lunenburg Thu 01-Jun-17 13:40:23

I would run a mile, just on the basis of his IQ.

He can't be very bright if he sends you a photo in which he is wearing a wedding ring smile smile

WorraLiberty Thu 01-Jun-17 13:41:38

I don't understand why you haven't simply text back, "Lovely pic. Is that a wedding ring"?

Not much point in speculating on here.

Findingmyfeetinflipflops Thu 01-Jun-17 13:59:55

I'm not speculating about him as such, well I am but more about why do people have to lie and cheat. I think because I've been lied to all my marriage I'm hoping that not everyone is as bad as my H.

I have no intention of throwing myself into another relationship I'm just dipping my toe in the water and just hoping the water isn't all murky.

Findingmyfeetinflipflops Thu 01-Jun-17 14:01:09

Ha ha Luneburg that's exactly what I thought that he can't be very clever

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