To stop buying the DC icecreams?

[AudTheDeepMinded]

When I were a lass an icecream was a real treat, now every time we go out as a family almost the first thing they utter (after 'are we nearly there yet') is 'Can I have an icecream?'.
It is taken as a god given right that they will receive an icecream, whether or not they have behaved themselves, and they whine and whinge from start to finish until they get one. I'm fed up with the entitled little brats and am thinking of enforcing an icecream embargo until they start behaving and appreciating what lucky little sods they are.
IABU (ps I am not enjoying this half term at all).

[RhiWrites]

Tell them ice creams are a reward for good behaviour and they won't get one until the end of the activity or after lunch and that any child who whines won't be getting on.

It'll be hard though, I imagine you buy them for all children or none. You have to be prepared to buy for one child while another throws a tantrum.

[MargotLovedTom1]

Just say you haven't brought enough money.
Or ignore the whinging and whining. Easier said than done I know, when it's like nails down a blackboard.

[AudTheDeepMinded]

You see that's the really hard bit, when one is angelic and the others little gits. Also once you've said no icecream there is no incentive at all to do as they are told plus all three of them are wailing.
Can I just send them back, I don't think I'm liking this parenting lark?

[needtogiveitablow]

YANBU I only ever got bought ice creams on holiday (in Whitby - never abroad) and even then not everyday and that was when 99's actually cost 99p! Every time my kids hear the ice cream van (and they can tune in from about 5 streets away) they start asking - I feel like I'm turning into my mother because all I'm willing to offer is the cheapest of rocket lollys from the freezer! I refuse to pay upwards of £2 for a single ice cream cone!!!

[Trifleorbust]

Tell them ice-cream is a treat, not today. I don't think it should be associated particularly with good behaviour because then they will see a direct correlation, i.e. "But I was good! Where's my ice-cream?"

[Coffeetasteslikeshit]

I said the same thing to my friend yesterday on the beach!
I refused to buy ice creams on the basis that I can't afford to keep paying for the car park AND ice creams every time.
YANBU, stand your ground and just keep repeating no. I find it helps not to make eye contact with them!

[AudTheDeepMinded]

We're 'lucky' in that we don't get a van near the house. I stretch to poundland icepops as an after school thing when it is hot! When I was growing up we lived one side of a river estuary, next to a golf course. On ther other side was the village. Everyday in the summer we were tortured by the sound of the van visiting the estate on the other side!

[Flowerpower321]

MIL insists that ice cream time is 3pm. So they have to behave most of the day, then have an ice cream, then start packing up to go back.

[AudTheDeepMinded]

I did stand my ground yesterday and reused to buy any (they'd been good but after parking and wet weather softplay I'd spent enough!) You would think that I had denied them a basic human right!

[NataliaOsipova]

My tactic is sometimes - "Maybe. Later. But if I hear any more whinging and talk of ice creams in the meantime, then the answer is no". Which sometimes works!

[Mummysh0rtlegs]

My kids can't have dairy so this isn't an issue for us. Stick to your guns, whinging and whining means we go home. They get three warnings.

[OwlinaTree]

I wouldn't link it to good behaviour tbh, as you then have to buy them for only a few. It's not very enjoyable eating a ice cream while another child screams! Also food shouldn't really be a reward, sorry.

I sometimes say no not today, we've had xyz other treat and spent all our pennies today (ds is 3). He sometimes moans but he gets over it!

It is hard though when they are in the habit of having them.

[BakewellSliceAgain]

I tend to do ice cream when it's very hot ( rarely happens where I live) or high days and holidays. It gets rotated with McDonalds and buying new trainers as the shopping day indulgence.

[BakewellSliceAgain]

I considered that I was running a benign dictatorship until adolescence.

[AudTheDeepMinded]

Bakewell Our house is a mixture of Mary Poppins and extreme dictatorship! This morning they are all playing marblerun nicely together and I am thinking maybe they are not all that bad!

[Titterofwit]

I really couldn't afford to buy ice-cream from a van when my children were younger. They did get treats but within my price range and at my choosing.

Anyone who demanded ,whinged or whined was reminded of this fact and also reminded that it was possible for us all to just pack up and go back home without any treats at all. I never had to take them home as they knew I meant what I said. Perhaps the lack of actual funds gave steel to my voice but I can't abide whinging kids so would never give in to that anyway.

Maybe a few aborted trips and no treats would help your DC realise how lucky they were/are that you can stump up at any time. In the end you all benefit since if they behave you will be inclined to have more outings and treats in future. Help them see this equation.

[viques]

bakewellyou made me smile. What happened when they hit the heavy hormones? Did they stage a coup and depose you?

[BakewellSliceAgain]

Sounds nice. Enjoy the good vibes!

[Vintagegoth]

Our local council stupidly made an agreement with an ice cream van owner that he could park outside the playground all day in exchange for a fee that they use to pay for extra litter picks. This means that instead of the ice cream van popping by the park for 15 mins and if you were unlucky you would miss it, you can't avoid the damn thing. We live next to the park and it is on the route to /from school. I just say I don't have any money. After a while the DC have stopped asking.

I have complained to the council as the van leaves their engine running right next to the play area all day, but the council don't seem to want to change their minds.

[luckylucky24]

We rarely buy from ice cream vans but do have ice lollies at home most days. When they are costing £1.20 for 8 rather than double that for 1 I don't mind. The only place an icecream is expected and guaranteed is the Icecream farm.

[Hdgshsksk]

Tell them before you leave the house what you are planning to buy for them and preempt any whinging. I used to remind my D.C. before going on days out that I wouldn't be buying any crappy souvenirs - they knew I meant it so would never ask.

[SnoutFish]

I use them as a bribe to get them to the exit of wherever we are as the shop is usually near the gates. And yes, as a good behaviour bribe.

[BakewellSliceAgain]

No but gradual handover of power is trickiest stage..

[NormaSmuff]

tell them you will buy a packet from the supermarket either on the way home for consuming at home, or consuming while out and aobut

[corythatwas]

I think being deaf to any whining and not taking it seriously has always been part of parenting, at least in moderately affluent families.

It's just that for our parents' and grandparents' generation this is so long ago that they've forgotten about it and only remember the end result= children who gave up whining.

I'd do what other posters have suggested and spell out before you leave the house what spends you intend to do. And then just ignore any whining and clamp down on bad behaviour.