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To stop ex seeing children

(45 Posts)
user1495583733 Wed 31-May-17 21:35:29

Aibu to stop contact as my ex is 26 and seeing a 17 year old. They started seeing eachother when she was 16 and he was still living with me. Iv offered supervised contact but he turned it down

Nicknacky Wed 31-May-17 21:36:42

Why would you stop contact or only have it supervised? Because you don't agree with the age of his partner?

ChickenBhuna Wed 31-May-17 21:43:45

He may not have a finely tuned moral code but he's not actually done anything illegal OP. A court wouldn't back you if this is your only reason to change contact.

harderandharder2breathe Wed 31-May-17 21:46:36

Agreed, if your only concern is the age of his partner you can't stop contact, he's creepy but it's not illegal.

Or is this part of a wider concern about his life and suitability as a parent?

chipscheeseandgravy Wed 31-May-17 21:51:36

Him being a wanker and seeing someone else is not a real reason to stop him from seeing his kids. If he's abusive or a danger to the kids, yes, stop contact. But doing it cos it's new partner is barely legal isn't a good reason.
Set some ground rules; wait till they've been in a relationship for a set period of time before she meets the kids, make sure you meet her first before the kids do, she's not allowed to come first when it comes to him having contact etc. Not letting him have contact will impact the kids.

twattymctwatterson Wed 31-May-17 21:55:09

The courts would take a very dim view of you stopping contact for this reason. You would also be essentially hurting your kids to get at your ex which is shitty behaviour

SylvesterMcM0nkeyMcBean Wed 31-May-17 21:56:17

Do not stop your children from seeing their father.

Andrewofgg Wed 31-May-17 21:57:02

It's not illegal. Why the hell should anyone supervise his contact with his children?

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 Wed 31-May-17 21:57:27

YABVU. He is not doing anything wrong or illegal and you have absolutely no right whatsoever so stop him seeing his children just because you don't like the age of his partner.

NotHotDogMum Wed 31-May-17 21:58:02

Of course you are angry and hurt, he's a knob.

But don't let the DC miss out on spending time with their DF, it's not fair in them.

fabulous01 Wed 31-May-17 22:00:05

My friend is going through the courts. It is an awful process so if it is because he is a knov think seriously as she is going to hell and back as well as the cost

user1495583733 Wed 31-May-17 22:00:10

Hes also a drug user and getin into fights alot hes always got black eyes. He was not stable with his contact before i stopped it but because of family history (he has a family member on sex offenders reg) im very uncomfortable with his relationship.

PrinceAli Wed 31-May-17 22:00:21

Unfortunately it's the parents of the girlfriend who need to stop contact... I wouldn't want a pervert anywhere near my children either though op so flowers

ItsAMessyLife Wed 31-May-17 22:01:06

Why didn't you mention all of that in your original post?

FathomsDeepAndFallingFurther Wed 31-May-17 22:01:33

Why did you turn down supervised contact?

Surely that would be the best thing for your children? To maintain a relationship with their father but in a safe place?

user1495583733 Wed 31-May-17 22:02:40

He turned down supervised contact i offered it

user1495583733 Wed 31-May-17 22:03:16

Im sorry i should have said it.

FathomsDeepAndFallingFurther Wed 31-May-17 22:03:32

Oh sorry OP. That's what I get for reading too fast. blush

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 Wed 31-May-17 22:03:59

Well that's a big fucking dripfeed.

Why is your OP all about the age of this girl, which isn't a problem, when he's a drug user and fights a lot (which is a problem)?

user1495583733 Wed 31-May-17 22:05:23

I do want them to see him i just dont want them growing up thinking its ok to groom someone as thats kind of what he did with this girl. I dont want my dd at 16 seeing a 26 year old or my ds at 26 seeing a 16 year old

user1495583733 Wed 31-May-17 22:06:53

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 im sorry i didnt put it all in the original post im not thinking very clearly as of late.

MarciaBlaine Wed 31-May-17 22:08:27

Presumably the age thing won't be an issue for a long time. The other stuff not so much sad

twattymctwatterson Wed 31-May-17 23:23:24

She's over the age of consent so he hasn't groomed her. I became involved with a 27 year old when I was aged 17. I wasn't groomed - he was an immature idiot which is why someone younger suited him but the relationship didn't damage me. You sound more worried about his relationship than the drugs and fighting.

Atenco Thu 01-Jun-17 00:14:16

My grandmother was fourteen when she started going out with my grandfather who was twenty-eight.

RebelRogue Thu 01-Jun-17 00:23:47

Gf not an issue,focus on the other stuff instead.

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