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To say no to MIL giving DD money for her school trip?

(43 Posts)
Rollergirl1 Wed 31-May-17 18:38:09

She's going next week. They are allowed to take a maximum of £25 (provided by me) and they have already handed the money in to school in a named envelope to be distributed each day.

Had a text from MIL saying to give DD £20 spending money from her and she will give to me when she sees me. I'm not sure when that will be. I replied back to MIL saying a nice thought but it's already been handed in so not to worry.

Now DH has called me saying MIL a bit put out as she wanted to give DD some money for her school trip. What does she expect me to do? Give DD a further £20 from Granny just for nothing and then me be out of pocket further more?

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings Wed 31-May-17 18:39:19

You could've just said thanks and then when she gave you the £20 you keep it then she's paid £20 and you've paid £5.

HarrietKettleWasHere Wed 31-May-17 18:39:50

Well why don't you just accept the £20 off MIL when you see her abs tell DD that Granby kindly provided her spending money confused

Why would you be out of pocket?

TheFallenMadonna Wed 31-May-17 18:40:19

What DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings said.

Kokusai Wed 31-May-17 18:40:44

You could've just said thanks and then when she gave you the £20 you keep it then she's paid £20 and you've paid £5

^this

SoupDragon Wed 31-May-17 18:41:11

I would have just agreed and not given DD an extra £20. You aren't out of pocket.

PotteringAlong Wed 31-May-17 18:42:08

I don't see the problem? MiL would just be replacing the money you've handed in, tell DD it's from granny?

EuroWin1 Wed 31-May-17 18:42:12

Sounds like your MIL was being kind. I'd go with the suggestions above.

2014newme Wed 31-May-17 18:42:35

What pps said. £20 from Mil and £5 from you
Fuss about nothing

BertrandRussell Wed 31-May-17 18:43:08

How strange! Just say thank you, tell dd isn't that kind of granny-she's given you your spending money and keep the £20. Sorted.

iamavodkadrinker Wed 31-May-17 18:43:58

Why have you caused such a drama over nothing?

Kbear Wed 31-May-17 18:44:29

bloody hell you can't win - always accept money from ILs with grace and gratitude - they love to give to their grandchildren, it's mean not to let them ;)

anyoldname76 Wed 31-May-17 18:47:49

why not just accept it and put it in her money box when you next see her?

BertrandRussell Wed 31-May-17 18:51:12

"why not just accept it and put it in her money box when you next see her?"
Because it was money for the trip.

Rollergirl1 Wed 31-May-17 18:54:56

I must be a meanie then as I just don't see the point now it's done and dusted. If she'd suggested last week before we had handed it in then I would have been quite happy to say it was from Granny but just seems daft after the event.

Rollergirl1 Wed 31-May-17 18:57:52

I didn't think I'd caused a drama, I just said thanks but it's already sorted. Didn't mean to offend her.

BertrandRussell Wed 31-May-17 18:59:42

But it's not done and dusted-she hasn't gone yet!

HarrietKettleWasHere Wed 31-May-17 19:01:26

It's not done and dusted is it? Granny probably just didn't realise you hand it in before in an envelope to divvy up later!

A simple 'yes thanks, that's really lovely of you' and get your DD to say 'thanks Granny for my spending money' would have been a reasonable/normal course of action here.

AyeAmarok Wed 31-May-17 19:02:02

I would have just agreed and not given DD an extra £20. You aren't out of pocket.

Even though I logically know it's not, I would feel like I had stolen £20 if I did this.

BewareOfDragons Wed 31-May-17 19:03:15

The solution was obvious, as others have noted.

Orangetoffee Wed 31-May-17 19:04:16

You don't see the point in granny doing something nice?

As above, just tell DD that the £20 is from dgm and the £5 from you.

Rollergirl1 Wed 31-May-17 19:08:46

I know she didn't realise had already been handed in. And it was/is a nice thought. Okay, prepared to accept that I didn't handle very well.

BackforGood Wed 31-May-17 19:09:59

Agree with the majority here. You've created a bit of an issue when there didn't need to be one.
Should have just thanked Granny, then told your dd that Granny has sent her spending money for the trip - even as she suggested to you, you put it in and Granny reimburses you when she sees you.
How odd.

2014newme Wed 31-May-17 19:16:05

Poor granny, money for a school trip being refused. Some people are so incredibly rude and thoughtless 🙄 yes I mean you op.
My children would love a kind granny, theirs hasn't bothered to see them for years.

IloveBanff Wed 31-May-17 19:17:29

OP you don't appear to have grasped the bleeding obvious what people are saying. Just take the £20 with thanks, keep it and tell your daughter that her granny wanted to contribute £20 of her spending money. It's irrelevant that it's already been handed in.

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