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Is it unreasonable to move out when DCs are still at school/college?

(109 Posts)
movingoutmovingon Tue 30-May-17 23:09:45

Just wondering about this: would you move in with a new partner if your children were adults (18) but still living at home, doing A levels?

Obviously still continue to support them financially and drop in once a week?

Ravenblack Tue 30-May-17 23:14:53

Eh? You mean leave them on their own to run the house you mean? confused

Are you going to be paying 2 sets of bills?

movingoutmovingon Tue 30-May-17 23:16:33

Moving in with new partner. So contributing towards their bills.

AvoidingCallenetics Tue 30-May-17 23:17:58

I wouldn't. 18 is barely adult. They still need you to be there imho.

LovingLola Tue 30-May-17 23:18:58

What?? Are you serious?
Is it your own house or rented?

Ravenblack Tue 30-May-17 23:19:02

If they are still doing A levels, then you are still legally responsible for them surely... You will probably still be getting child benefit for them. Why are you leaving them? confused

I wouldn't. What if it upsets your dc and causes them to mess up their exams - and, by extension, their future?

Exams will be over soon enough - you are a grown up, you can wait a few weeks. Don't prioritise your love life over your child's exams. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it is how I feel.

AnyFucker Tue 30-May-17 23:19:19

Why wouldn't they go with you ? confused

LittleBearPad Tue 30-May-17 23:19:31

You are kidding!

Of course it would be unreasonable.

movingoutmovingon Tue 30-May-17 23:19:51

Own house. To move in with a new partner.

BrutusMcDogface Tue 30-May-17 23:19:57

No way would I leave my 18 year old to run a household while I shacked up with a new partner! Is there no way your partner could move in with you and the kids?

PickAChew Tue 30-May-17 23:19:59

PLenty of 18yo who don't get into student digs, or aren't even students live independently. I would assume the OP would want to put being supportive over a regular shag, no?

LovingLola Tue 30-May-17 23:21:32

Have you asked your children what they think?
Will you be paying all the bills? Are they competent with cooking, washing, cleaning etc?

Ravenblack Tue 30-May-17 23:21:51

Can partner not move in with you and your children?

This all sounds a bit odd. I wouldn't be leaving MY sixth form age children alone in a house to fend for themselves and pay bills and cook and clean and do shopping and do their washing and ironing and sorting finances etc themselves, while I swanned off to the boyfriends house.

YAB VVVVVVVVVVV U!

movingoutmovingon Tue 30-May-17 23:21:54

No, won't move in. It's not my situation by the way.

LovingLola Tue 30-May-17 23:22:10

And if you break up with the new partner will you just swan back home and into their lives again?

movingoutmovingon Tue 30-May-17 23:22:15

It's only one child the other is away at university.

FlippinNorah Tue 30-May-17 23:23:38

So would that 1 18 year old be in the house alone?

I don't think it makes it any better that it is 'only one child'!

Frankly, I think it would be a really shitty thing to do to a child in the middle of their A levels.

arethereanyleftatall Tue 30-May-17 23:23:57

I think in your circumstances, I'd just wait till gets finish their alevels. It can't be that far away, then you've got the rest of your life.

AliTheMinx Tue 30-May-17 23:24:42

Totally unreasonable and selfish! Your children need your support - they should surely come first??!

movingoutmovingon Tue 30-May-17 23:24:43

Yes Norah

AnyFucker Tue 30-May-17 23:24:47

Whose situation is this ?

Carolinethebrave Tue 30-May-17 23:25:23

No, I wouldn't
YABU
And irresponsible

choccywoccywoowah Tue 30-May-17 23:25:41

Oh for crying out loud. Some posters are being given ridiculous. I lived on my own at 17 and attended college. They are not babies. If they are happy with it OP, then I would.

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