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AIBU?

dh is being a twat over 'opedius' dss tonight [this is weird]

64 replies

pipsqueak25 · 30/05/2017 21:45

this is potentially outing but not bothered as i'm really wound up, dh and i have a very good relationship and very close. BUT this evening he commented on my youngest ds [16] is 'clingy' and 'acts a bit weird' around me, we have a good relationship but he'd certainly not clingy and weird -wtf ?? "it's like he has an opedius thing with you ". i asked him what he was going on about and he said "i notice this stuff, he hangs around you alot, it's weird, i never did that with my mum, "
now, 'd'h has no idea of the full meaning of opedius complex anyhow, and does't know the symptoms, he has indirectly slagged two other dss this evening in the space of 5 minutes. i don't know where the hell this has come from, he was fine when he came home from work and over dinner, no rows etc, then in the middle of a programme we were watching he comments on my dress which is a low neck and saying it might induce creepy behaviour from someone,.???
when i took him to task about it that's when it came out, it's almost as though it was a stranger talking. no drink or drugs involved, no problems, we talk about everything, so i don't get it at all, so i've come up to bed and he is downstairs still watching the programme..
any thoughts anyone ?
i know he 's a bit jealous of youngest as we have a good relationship and often have a good laugh together but this... ??

OP posts:

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whateveryousay · 30/05/2017 21:46

Is he their Dad?

Owllady · 30/05/2017 21:47

My middle child is 16 and male and talk to me and hugs me
It's pretty normal behaviour from a child tbqh
You are his mother

Highalert · 30/05/2017 21:49

Your DH sounds like the weird one.

Owllady · 30/05/2017 21:50

He's being ridiculous tbqh
I hth
I doubt it will as people seem rather uncomfortable with adolescent sons having close, non sexual, relationships with their young mothers (I'm guessing you were young when you had him)
It's all normal, innocent, children just needing adult emotional support as they are children
Ffs

OfficiallyUnofficial · 30/05/2017 21:50

That is really quite fucked up OP sorry

Allthebestnamesareused · 30/05/2017 21:50

He is being a twat!

Assuming they are his Dss's just tell him you will not be adjusting your very normal relationships eith your sons because he has suddenly developed petty jealousies!

Sprinklestar · 30/05/2017 21:51

Well, it's a funny term to be bandying about if he doesn't know the full/correct meaning. How strange!

Owllady · 30/05/2017 21:51

My son is 6ft 3 and looks like a man but he's my child, my son
Sorry if I've overshared but it irritated me people take something normal and want to make it into something perverted or creepy

happypoobum · 30/05/2017 21:52

Very weird indeed. What is his relationship like with his mother?

Owllady · 30/05/2017 21:52

It's her son not her stepson.

bbcessex · 30/05/2017 21:53

I'm not surprised you are pissed off with him OP.

It is pretty strange behaviour.

Regards your 'low cut' dress.. was he intimating that it would somehow entice your son?

whateveryousay · 30/05/2017 21:54

I think happy means DHs relationship with his own mother.

happypoobum · 30/05/2017 21:55

Yes - so sorry, I meant what is DH relationship like with his mother, OPs MIL? I wondered if she was absent/dysfunctional?

Diam0nd7 · 30/05/2017 21:56

Sounds like he may be wanting attention from you OP? Maybe he's read about the Oedipus complex recently or it came up in a film or something?
My son is only 14, but DH will often tell me I pander too much to him, when in actual fact our girls are much more demanding imo. By the same token, I think he lets the girls get away with a lot more than DS. I don't think jealousy if DS is quite the right word, but it's along those lines I think sometimes. He never accuses me of giving off sexualised signals to DS though - that would be very odd.
Ask him if he's feeling pushed out by your closeness to your son. Or maybe he feels like your relationship with him is different to the Dss?

Badgoushk · 30/05/2017 21:56

I wasn't sure what you meant initially! Oedipus.

MrsEricBana · 30/05/2017 21:58

Very unnerving thing for him to suggest. My ds is 16 and hugs me and gives me a peck on the head all the time but I would be horrified if anyone suggested it was inappropriate. He's my child. I'm not surprised you are upset.

Highalert · 30/05/2017 21:59

Feeling pushed out is no excuse for such fucked up accusations.

pipsqueak25 · 30/05/2017 22:00

bbc , might have hit the point, can't wear a bra with it but it is supported iyswim, but ds doesn't spend his time gawking at me, if anything i think he's probably gay but he's not sure. so unlike dh to act like this, he was quite calm when he said it, doesn't generally yell and certainly not the violent type
dh has a jealous streak but that has gotten better over the years but he does like it to be about him and me, the kids are grown up but living at home, god knows what they'd have thought had they heard him .

OP posts:

Owllady · 30/05/2017 22:02

16 isn't grown up
And he's your son. He hasn't noticed you aren't wearing a bra

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 30/05/2017 22:03

Is he their Father OP ?

bbcessex · 30/05/2017 22:04

Blimey OP

I think it's fair to say that your DHs comments aren't normal.. i don't know what to suggest, but it would sincerely unnerve me.

I cuddle and squidge my massive teenage son all the time ..

pipsqueak25 · 30/05/2017 22:06

diam you have a point, he doesn't see a lot of his grown up kids, no problems but they are always busy with their own lives and take their time to respond to texts / face book etc, i've answered my own question haven't i ? my kids are here at home i have regular contact but his aren't and he doesn't.
just don't understand his response though.
mil has very long history of anxiety and other problems but they get on ok as do i with her.

OP posts:

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pipsqueak25 · 30/05/2017 22:09

sugar he's step dad to the kids, he usually gets on with dss [16] although ds can be a bit hate to say it ocd ish which can be hard going, i've learnt to ignore that though but dh can't and will tut and huff.

OP posts:

bigmack · 30/05/2017 22:12

That's a really horrible thing for him to say. The problem is with him. He sounds jealous of your son.

CocoaLeaves · 30/05/2017 22:13

He is jealous of his 16 year old stepson? Basically jealous of your child?

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