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To not lend DS2 a quid?

(109 Posts)
PhuqIt Tue 30-May-17 17:11:42

DS2 (16) gets £15 pocket money a week. He doesn't work and spends all the money straight away on energy drinks, doritos and cigerettes. Because of this, he then has a habit of asking to "borrow" money in the week so he can go out with friends. I've tried to teach him budgeting skills, advised him to save £5 a week for unexpected invitations etc but he never does.

He's just waited until I got in from work tonight to ask to borrow £1 so he can "get a drink" whilst out with his mate later. Realistically it is probably to buy a cigerette off his mate.

He's been home all day and done nothing at all. Kitchen was a shit tip when I got in and poor dog was locked in kitchen alone as nobody can be arsed with him when me or DH isn't here.

So I know it's only a quid, but AIBU to say "no, sort your act out"?

NoFucksImAQueen Tue 30-May-17 17:12:57

Yanbu. It's not the quid it's the principal, he'll thank you when he's older

WishfulThanking Tue 30-May-17 17:14:32

I'm shocked you're so casual about him smoking!

LittleBooInABox Tue 30-May-17 17:14:46

Get him to take a 'drink' from home in a plastic bottle. Problem solved no need for a quid.

PhuqIt Tue 30-May-17 17:15:13

I'm not, I just didn't want the thread to be derailed by smoking advice. I'm already dealing with that.

Orangebird69 Tue 30-May-17 17:15:35

Yanbu. Lazy little sod. I'd quit the pocket money altogether. I feel sorry for your dog too.

Moanyoldcow Tue 30-May-17 17:15:43

No. YANBU. My son is too young for pocket money but I am planning to give him a fixed amount and he can top it up with some chores (in addition to basic 'family' chores which he will be expected to do regardless).

Is that an option for you?

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Tue 30-May-17 17:16:08

Suggest if he had taken the dog out /done dishes it may have been a yes.
As it is it's no. .

Msqueen33 Tue 30-May-17 17:16:42

No way would I give him more money. Firstly he needs to learn to budget and secondly he does bugger all around the house to help. So no you're not BU.

khajiit13 Tue 30-May-17 17:17:08

If it wasn't for the smoking I'd lean towards YABU. I wouldn't be funding that though so if he chooses to throw his money away on cigarettes, not a chance in hell would I be topping him up. YANBU op

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 30-May-17 17:17:18

YANBU. A quid's a quid at the end of the day. Okay its not a lot, but Its not a little either because these quids soon add up
I never got any pocket money. I had to get off my butt and earn it or I went without luxuries ect.

Sirzy Tue 30-May-17 17:18:11

No chance!

Could you reduce his pocket money to £10 a week and then have him expected to do a certain level of housework to earn the rest/more?

kscience Tue 30-May-17 17:19:08

IMO £15 a week (£60 a month) is I would not be "lending" any money not even £1.

Why does your DS need so much disposable income? Has pocket money ever been linked to household jobs?

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 30-May-17 17:19:20

I'm quite shocked you're so casual about him smoking.

But he's 16. He's not 6. He's perfectly legal to smoke. Not much op can do.

Soubriquet Tue 30-May-17 17:20:38

Hah yanbu

I was coming on to say "it's only a quid" but after reading all that, fuck that

He could earn a quid by walking the dog if he's that desperate

Dearohdeer Tue 30-May-17 17:21:09


BastardGoDarkly Tue 30-May-17 17:21:11

No way. Just for the idleness, especially towards the dog, nevermind the fact he gets plenty of money he chooses to spend straight away on fags.


Trifleorbust Tue 30-May-17 17:21:48

He's not legal to smoke, is he? Didn't the age go up to 18?

BastardGoDarkly Tue 30-May-17 17:22:37

Think its 18 to smoke now spider ?

Floralnomad Tue 30-May-17 17:23:49

Well if he's 16 he can get himself a pt job . I wouldn't be giving him money to buy cigarettes but if he's got a habit I think I'd be tempted to provide a vaping alternative if he's amenable to that and if he then stops buying cigarettes. For tonight id tell him to walk the dog now before he goes out and you will give him something . In future , as he is unable to budget , perhaps give him his money as £5 every few days to help him learn - we had to do that with my alcoholic granny when she got dementia or she spent all the pension on booze on day 1 and was a pain pestering family for money for the rest of the week .

mynotsoperfectlife Tue 30-May-17 17:24:56

He probably can't get himself a job if he says in the middle of his GCSEs, to be fair.

SandyDenny Tue 30-May-17 17:25:39

Is there a reason he doesn't have a part time job?

ShinyGirl Tue 30-May-17 17:28:58

He'd get fuck all from me if he was buying ciggies, no pocket money or anything.

Floralnomad Tue 30-May-17 17:30:46

If he's got time to go out socialising he's got time to go to work IMO .

ferriswheel Tue 30-May-17 17:33:15

I wouldn't give him a penny because of smoking. One of those Dragons Den millionaires stopped giving their kids money because of smoking. Aside from that I'm divorcing my stbxh and one major reason is his total disrespect for money.

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