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To worry about missing "firsts"...

(22 Posts)
DorkMaiden Tue 30-May-17 14:37:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1491572121 Tue 30-May-17 14:38:58

I wouldn't have known because MIL never told me. smile

You just have to pretend OP...the nursery won't tell you if they see him walk....

2014newme Tue 30-May-17 14:38:59

I can't even remember the firsts, sorry. They're big news for five minutes then another one comes along.

rightsofwomen Tue 30-May-17 14:39:55

They will be firsts for you. Hopefully if someone else sees a first they will be mindful of your feelings and allow you to have your moment of joy and excitement.

FWIW...collecting your baby from childcare after a day at work is like Christmas. I liked that.

isthistoonosy Tue 30-May-17 14:41:11

My kids are 2 and 3 and ive already forgotton the firsts, there is always the next thing though smile

SuperManStoleMyPants Tue 30-May-17 14:41:34

Tbh a nursery won't tell you. They generally wait for the parents to announce the firsts.

GrumpyMcGrumpFace Tue 30-May-17 14:41:39

it's not like they're not talking, and then give you a treatise on the current political situation.... it's more of a continuum. So you will be present over the few days weeks your PFB starts sounding more like s/he's talking, the weeks when it's less holding on to furniture and more proper walking... do you see what I mean?

So you don't ever really miss anything. Don't worry!

Artisanjam Tue 30-May-17 14:42:28

They can often be Firsts over a period of weeks or months. E.g. Ba becomes da becomes dada becomes daddy and you can't remember when the change really happened.

Or there was a day when your dc walked holding on, and the next day they maybe took half a step between holds and a week later they're walking. Each day there is change - there's often not one big moment.

Popskipiekin Tue 30-May-17 14:43:29

Our PFB went to nursery at 11 months. I have always believed we were the ones to see his first proper independent steps at home, but it may just be that his nursery were extremely kind and tactful and didn't mention anything when he did it there first! I'm sure - in fact I remember reading a childminder posting something like this - that most caregivers are aware of the importance of "firsts" to parents and would always leave parents to "discover" them for themselves.
Tbh I probably would have minded more if he walked first for a grandparent than at nursery blush it means nothing to the nursery but I expect a grandparent would talk of nothing else for a while!

wineapotamus Tue 30-May-17 14:43:58

I missed DS's first word. He said "dog!"
I was having a wee.
It has passed into legend.
Haha remember mummy, haha, I said dog to daddy and aunty al, and you, hahaha missed it because you were having a haha, wee!
I hear plenty of words from him now...

BikeRunSki Tue 30-May-17 14:47:05

DS went to nursery 3 days a week when he was 51 weeks old. As far as I am concern I was there for his first steps and first word, because nobody ever told me otherwise.

Alanna1 Tue 30-May-17 14:55:15

In the nicest possible way, you are sweating the small stuff. Learning to walk/talk is a process and you will get plenty of time to watch it. Good luck!

Fidoandacupoftea Tue 30-May-17 14:58:02

Agree with 2014 I am sure they were cherished but can't remember now. Enjoy your four firsts

Fidoandacupoftea Tue 30-May-17 14:58:33

Not four meant your firsts

2014newme Tue 30-May-17 15:01:19

Yes nursery are very tactful and don't tell you. You are in blissful ignorance

Captainj1 Tue 30-May-17 15:10:31

it's the first time YOU see it that matters. If it matters at all - they are learning all the time. But I know with the first you don't realise that, everything is a big deal.

My DS was at nursery full time from 5 months old. I then had a nanny since DD was born. Both nursery and nanny have been tactful about what they have seen but all that mattered to me was seeing things for my own eyes. What I do firmly believe is that being with childcarers and other children is hugely developmental in itself. My kids are kind, confident, bright and independent, the little one is a chatterbox at just 2 and also a real mummy's girl and very clingy to mummy right now!! Being at work is a nice break from that 😂. Enjoy the rest of your leave.

DorkMaiden Tue 30-May-17 19:47:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Loopytiles Tue 30-May-17 19:50:58

Our CM rejoiced in DD doing new things with us: suspect she didn't tell us about a couple of things, but DD had speech delay so all new words said were written down. I kept her journals because there is lots of lovely, caring info about her routine and things when tiny.

GoldilocksAndTheThreePears Tue 30-May-17 19:52:55

This very situation has been part of 3 separate nursery job interviews, 2 from chains. How would you deal with seeing first steps/hearing first words. The kind of answer they are looking for is not telling parent outright, but letting them know you really think the child may be getting close so keep an eye out! Most people in childcare want the parents to have the parent parts.

GoldilocksAndTheThreePears Tue 30-May-17 19:55:14

Oh I should add unless there are SEN and a lot of conversation about the importance of noting everything down as part of their general plan rather than precious firsts, if that makes sense. And I did nanny for a family where they asked to be immediately notified of any talking form child 3 as child 2 had lots of issues so they needed the reassurance more than the milestone.

LittleLionMansMummy Tue 30-May-17 19:55:23

Even if you're with them 24/7 you'll miss firsts. I left the room and missed dd rolling from front to back. I missed her rolling back to front about a week ago because she did it at 5am! She got her legs stuck between the for bars too...

LittleLionMansMummy Tue 30-May-17 19:56:00

cot bars

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