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AIBU?

To think this is bad hosting?

78 replies

hibbledobble · 30/05/2017 11:42

Is this off? I think it is but wondered general mn opinion. Another thread reminded me of this.

We went to an engagement party where we didn't know any other guests as a family (2 adults and 2 children ). It was a picnic in the park. I cooked a big dish and planned to share it.

We offered to share with other guests, this was turned down by them. Tried to socialise but other guests were rather icy. Host did not introduce us to anyone, nor offer us any food or drink. Our offer to share food was turned down. There was not one bit of food or drink on offer for guests.

We just ate our own food, and wondered why we didn't go to our local park to do it, rather than travel for a complete lack of hosting.

Our eldest daughter wanted to play with a balloon that was out and was told not to by the host too.

Overall we felt very unwelcome.

Aibu to think that if you host a party then you should at least provide some food or drink, and introduce guests?

OP posts:

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BandeauSally · 30/05/2017 11:45

Wow I've never heard of any kid of party where food or drink wasn't provided! I wonder did they deliberately choose a picnic in the hope that everyone would just bring their own food and drink? They sound really stingey.

Shoxfordian · 30/05/2017 11:46

Yeah that sounds like a rubbish party. Don't bother going to the wedding

Anothernewnn · 30/05/2017 11:46

What's your relation to the people hosting it? Sounds very odd

QuinoaKeen · 30/05/2017 11:47

Yanbu. That sounds really miserable.

FakePlasticTeaLeaves · 30/05/2017 11:52

This is terrible hosting, YANBU. If you are invited to the wedding I would question going; I wouldn't want a repeat of this treatment!

As a side note: what was your dish? I feel hungry.

hibbledobble · 30/05/2017 11:55

The bride to be was a friend of my husband's.

I made a large frittata. It tasted pretty good, though no one was would have known.

I brought enough food and drink for us but expected to at least share.

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MatildaTheCat · 30/05/2017 11:58

Were you definitely invited? I'm just wondering if the bride to be mentioned she was having an engagement party in the park at X place and your dh mistakenly thought you were invited clutching at straws.

If you were definitely invited they were really rude and I would absolutely not go to the wedding. I hope you didn't buy them a gift?

ladymariner · 30/05/2017 12:01

At least this pita has spared you the hassle of the wedding....can you imagine what that would be like??? Bet you'll still receive a poem in the invite though ...such a shame you'll be washing your hair that day!!

hibbledobble · 30/05/2017 12:01

It was a Facebook invite, so yes we were definitely invited. The wording of the invite said to bring food and drink, so maybe we should have anticipated this.

We didn't buy a gift (didn't think you were expected for engagements: we didn't receive any)

OP posts:

MusicToMyEars800 · 30/05/2017 12:02

That sounds awful and a very uncomfortable situation for you to be in, I would've left early with the delicious frittata. I wouldn't go to the wedding either if you've been invited that is?

Anothernewnn · 30/05/2017 12:02

Ah the dreaded fab invite. That explains a lot

Loopytiles · 30/05/2017 12:02

Were DC invited?

Minniemagoo · 30/05/2017 12:05

Were your children actually invited? To me sounds like not if they had a problem with your DD playing with the balloon.
What did everyone do? Just stand around with no food/drink?

Refilona · 30/05/2017 12:05

How bloody rude. Don't go to the wedding and no, why would you give them an engagement present? And then a wedding present too?! They seem stingy and awful.

FrenchMartiniTime · 30/05/2017 12:05

So everybody was just standing in the middle of a park not eating or drinking?

What did your DH make of it?

Very strange!

MikeUniformMike · 30/05/2017 12:06

It is bad hosting. Unfriend them.

hibbledobble · 30/05/2017 12:07

It was a Facebook invite and the children aren't on Facebook. As it was during the day and in a park I assumed it would be fine. No mention not to bring kids. There were other kids there. I wonder now if we committed some sort of faux pas unwittingly, but I don't think we did!

No wedding invite thus far! Maybe we aren't invited.

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Pinkheart5917 · 30/05/2017 12:07

If you don't provide a glass of drink & at least a few nibbles it's not a party and your hosting nothing!

We're your dc invited? You didn't just turn up with 2 uninvited dc did you?

I think some people genuinely don't know how to host or what to do and I think the "let's have an engagement party in a park" thing probably made a few people unsure of how to interact with the other "guests"

hibbledobble · 30/05/2017 12:09

People just sat down and ate their own food, and drank their own drinks.

Dh thought it was off too.

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lanouvelleheloise · 30/05/2017 12:09

It sounds like there was maybe a bit of a misunderstanding about whether this was a kind of communal deal or everyone bringing their own individual food. Which happens, and is forgiveable. The icy behaviour and offishness isn't, though.

It sounds like the tightest and most rubbish way of having a party! At least provide some booze!

BandeauSally · 30/05/2017 12:12

It all sounds very odd. I agree with pinkheart, some people have no idea how to host and think it's fine to just say "come to this place where we will also be"

A day time picnic party in a park is an odd kind of engagement party, particularly if they didn't want kids there. But to not have any food or drink there is really bad. It's not a party really, it's just "we're going to the park if you fancy meeting us there, we bought an expensive ring and want to show it off"

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 30/05/2017 12:15

That sounds horrible.

What is it with people not introducing others anymore? Where I come from and definitely at work it's basic stuff: Sally do you know Tim? Tim this is Sally, she also has children in year 2. Sally, Tim has two girls.

I'd not be rushing to buy a hat.

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Maudlinmaud · 30/05/2017 12:15

We have bbqs in our local park. Everyone brings food and it's either cooked there or laid out for everyone to enjoy. Everyone brings food and drink to share. What you experienced doesn't sound good.

Anothernewnn · 30/05/2017 12:17

How well does your dh know the btb? It actually sounds as though there might have been a mix up with invites. That said they still sound bloody rude!

hibbledobble · 30/05/2017 12:19

He used to live with her in a flat share. So knows her pretty well.

Even if there was a mix up with inviting us, this still wouldn't explain the lack of food and drink for all the guests.

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