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AIBU?

To discourage my friend from getting a 'Manchester Bee' tattoo

213 replies

CircleofWillis · 30/05/2017 09:15

My friend is from Manchester but moved to London 25 years ago. She wants to get a bee tattoo to show her support for the people affected by the awful tragedy and to give financial support to the appeal. She doesn't have any tattoos and has previously stated she doesn't like them. AIBU to want to talk her out of it as she may regret such a permanent statement in the future. Instead I want to suggest she think about just donating the money. I know it is her body and her choice but I feel she is being swept up in the emotion as some of her friends from home have posted their tattoos on FB. I don't have any tattoos myself but not because I have any dislike of them but I would hesitate myself before having a permanent reminder of such a sad event on my body.

OP posts:
SleepFreeZone · 30/05/2017 09:17

Surely it's just showing some recognition of her roots? I think it's a pretty nice idea and there's no reason why she can't have the tattoo and donate some money to the cause too.

Msqueen33 · 30/05/2017 09:17

I'd suggest she waits until things are less raw and in the meantime donate. A tattoo is for life and if she hasn't gotten one before she could well regret it.

ninja · 30/05/2017 09:18

There are places around here doing Henna Tattoos - maybe she could get that done as a starting point to give her a chance to think about it

SuburbanRhonda · 30/05/2017 09:18

Are you her mum?

CrispyBathTowel · 30/05/2017 09:19

Just letting you know if you didn't already that there have been at least 2 threads on this topic that ended up deleted. The bee tattoos appears to be an emotive and divisive subject. Plus I think the tattoo fundraiser has ended anyway.

FlyingElbows · 30/05/2017 09:20

Do you feel your friend is mentally incompetent of making her own decisions as an adult in other areas? No? Then back off. It's her choice. Lots and lots and lots of people have tattoos to mark sad things, very important to them. I get your "bandwagon" point, and it's valid, but it's her choice to make.

obviouslymarvellous · 30/05/2017 09:20

What's it got to do with you really though? Her body and all that and she can always have a smaller one and in a non visible place (if she chooses) I think it's a great idea - I'm from Manchester. I am seriously considering having one after I return from jollies. She could always get a car sticker too with the manchester bee on

BewtySkoolDropowt · 30/05/2017 09:23

Maybe she hates tattoos because she has not considered that they can be truly meaningful. And this clearly is.

Her decision, she's an adult.

Joinourclub · 30/05/2017 09:26

I wouldn't see it as marking a sad event, but more as expressing pride in her Manc roots.

BakewellSliceAgain · 30/05/2017 09:28

I'd suggest that she may want to wait a while. She's free to ignore the suggestion.

Sionella · 30/05/2017 09:31

I hate tattoos (especially DP's ill-advised ones that he got at 15, which have not aged well!). I have already donated to the charity.

I am still thinking seriously about getting a little bee done, somewhere that can't be seen except by me/DP. The tragedy made me feel very strongly about my roots and the people who are from where I am from.

SuperFlyHigh · 30/05/2017 09:43

It's her body, her choice.

I think it's a good idea especially as she doesn't like tattoos as it's obviously important to her due to her roots and she wants to help out with the donation for it.

allegretto · 30/05/2017 09:44

Advise her to wait 6 months.

BakewellSliceAgain · 30/05/2017 09:45

If she normally does not like tattoos it is possible the emotions of this week could lead to regretting it later. Waiting a while is wiser.

angryladyboobs · 30/05/2017 09:45

Back off. It isn't your choice. What someone else puts on their body is no business of yours.

BusterGonad · 30/05/2017 09:46

Leave her to it, it's her life, her body, her choice!

HildaOg · 30/05/2017 09:54

I'd be honest and tell her if she wants to deface herself performance grieving then that's her business but she's just outing herself as someone who's getting swept up in a wave of manufactured emotion and attention seeking.

BakewellSliceAgain · 30/05/2017 09:56

That's an odd take on honesty.

Sionella · 30/05/2017 09:56

Funny what some people call "honest", Hilda. Other people might have a different name for it!

BanginChoons · 30/05/2017 09:58

I think it's totally up to her. Maybe suggest she gets it somewhere discreet so she can cover it when she chose to.

And what the fuck is "performance grieving"?

HildaOg · 30/05/2017 09:59

And what's that? It is the truth. A bunch of idiots trying to be a part of a public grievance performance, it's insulting to the victims and their families who are actually grieving.

HildaOg · 30/05/2017 10:01

Performance grieving; oh look at me... I'm a part of this, pretending to give a shit... Getting so wrapped up in the hysteria and attention seeking of it all I get a tattoo to make it all about ME...

PurpleDaisies · 30/05/2017 10:03

There's really no need for that hilda.

I think it's sensible to wait a while before getting any tattoo but if she's an adult it's totally her decision.

Radishal · 30/05/2017 10:05

Local Manchester MP, Jonathan Reynolds- rather straitlaced kind of person- has just got one.
Whatever people feel like doing to respond to this is ok.
"Performance grieving " is a rather snotty mean term. Let people respond in their own way.

MissShittyBennet · 30/05/2017 10:10

This thread is going to go the same way as the others on the subject. People who wouldn't comprehend the significance of the bee to the history of Manchester and wouldn't understand our identity if it sat on their faces and wiggled yarning on about performance grieving yada yada. And no, I won't be getting one.

OP tbh I'd stay out of it. But if you are going to say anything, I'd keep it as are you sure it's a good idea to make a quick decision about permanent body modification. Don't refer to it as a reminder of a tragedy though, because it's not. It's an assertion of pride in the city and shared culture after an attack on our values and traditions: because an attack on people at a music venue most certainly was that.

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