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To wonder what you would think if your OH said that

(485 Posts)
Poisongirl81 Mon 29-May-17 18:38:43

Before being with you in his life he has had sex with men! A couple of times just for the sex. He's also had long term things with women and fancies me very much. Just don't know how to feel.

NellieFiveBellies Mon 29-May-17 18:40:30

i'd think he was bisexual.
lots of people are.
as with any relationship, safe sex is vital.

ShinyGirl Mon 29-May-17 18:41:25

He's bi.

Poisongirl81 Mon 29-May-17 18:42:02

Would it bother You?

ScrumpyBetty Mon 29-May-17 18:42:07

So he is bisexual? It doesn't really make a difference who he has had sex with in the past, it's this present moment that's important. Do you trust him, does he treat you well, do you like him etc. Those are the important questions.

IloveBanff Mon 29-May-17 18:42:14

Well, if I didn't know he was bisexual it would be a surprise, if I did, it wouldn't.

ScrumpyBetty Mon 29-May-17 18:43:02

Does it bother you that he is bi poison because it sounds as though it does.

Poisongirl81 Mon 29-May-17 18:43:36

I should have worded it would it bother You? I guessed he's bi

Pinkheart5917 Mon 29-May-17 18:43:40

He tried it and it didn't float his boat. It wouldn't bother me

Poisongirl81 Mon 29-May-17 18:44:05

I don't know if it bothers me 🙄

MitzyLeFrouf Mon 29-May-17 18:46:11

It's okay to feel a bit weird about it if you've just found out about his being bi. It's also okay if you decide you'd rather not be in a relationship with a bisexual man.

BetterEatCheese Mon 29-May-17 18:46:22

I was in a civil partnership with a woman, hadn't been with a man ever in an adult relationship (last boyfriend was when I was a 15) - split up with her, met dp, all is great 10 years later.

He is fine with my past. It doesn't have to matter but if it bothers you, talk to him

NeopreneMermaid Mon 29-May-17 18:46:44

I'd want to know the details! grin

The only concern I might have is whether he might yearn for something I physically couldn't do.

Poisongirl81 Mon 29-May-17 18:49:57

I did ask the details...its pretty full on. It's just off as he's a manly man physical job etc I can't imagine him being bummed 😆 makes me feel a bit quesy

ScottishBadger Mon 29-May-17 18:50:07

Been here. Not a deal breaker. Bisexual doesn't mean you aren't capable of monogamy. Saying that, I have had both male and female partners.

sonlypuppyfat Mon 29-May-17 18:50:30

I am completely open minded, but no I wouldn't like it one bit

Poisongirl81 Mon 29-May-17 18:51:02

Sorry TIM but he prefers anal with me which makes me think he is still thinking about it

ShinyGirl Mon 29-May-17 18:53:48

Not all gay men like anal so that's not a sign.

MrsMeeseeks Mon 29-May-17 18:55:16

I don't think it would bother me. I've had bi boyfriends before. I'd be really surprised though!

MitzyLeFrouf Mon 29-May-17 18:56:07

Do you mean he prefers having anal sex with you over vaginal? Yeah, that would give me pause for thought.

khajiit13 Mon 29-May-17 18:57:10

It would bother me and no I wouldn't like it.

NellieFiveBellies Mon 29-May-17 18:58:03

would it bother me?
no.
as long as he is faithful to me during our relationship then his previous partners are his business.
safe sex is essential in any relationship and it should be condoms all the way until/unless you both have a sexual health check.
you do sound homophobic tbh with your talk of him being a 'manly man' and feeling queasy and not imagining him getting 'bummed'.

NellieFiveBellies Mon 29-May-17 18:58:47

x post.
that bit would bother me.
i dont like anal.

if you dont want it - say no!

sonlypuppyfat Mon 29-May-17 19:01:06

I don't think she's homophobic he's using her like he would use a man and she doesn't seem to like it, who would

uncoolnn Mon 29-May-17 19:03:12

My DP is bisexual and I know he has had sex with men. I don't ask details but it doesn't bother me.

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