Pregnancy food guidelines

[CowParsleyNettle]

Currently on my 2nd pregnancy and already the "it's a wonder any of us had children because back in my day we lived off Stilton, raw eggs and three week old uncooked beef washed down with a pint of gin" is pissing me off.

Is it so fucking hard to believe that in 30 odd years the human race has learnt something?

Do think I just make things up to be difficult? FFS.

My stalwart answer is that we had a higher rate of infant mortality/miscarriage back then.

NB: Comments usually from my mother or MiL, both of whom buy homeopathic remedies...

[Pregnant lady hormonal rant over, as you were]

[Herbie22]

All the mothers in my family did this. As well as rubbishing monitoring baby movements. My mum swore she never even felt me and DTS move!

[PeaFaceMcgee]

I think it's the you must not x, y, z element of how the info is put across though.

We have improved knowledge on the risks of x, y, z - but instead of saying:

there's a 1 in 100,000 risk of your baby-in-utero being affected by listeriosis

It comes across as you're not ALLOWED to (which is patronising as it assumes we're all idiots incapable of making informed decisions).

[gigi556]

To be honest, I think most of the food guidelines are total rubbish. I feel bad for all the women who start threads thinking they've harmed their baby because they are a piece of Brie or ham or whatever.

If you want to follow the guideline to a tee then fine, but I'm 40 weeks pregnant and haven't given the guidelines much thought. I got food poisoning at around 16/17 weeks from chicken at a restaurant. I took my chances with sushi, salami and cheese, etc...

[CowParsleyNettle]

I'd rather not go with the "My mother you had FOUR miscarriages, I'd rather not risk it" line, especially not with my own mother.

I'm already fed up of being made to feel like I'm difficult, no, I'm just being cautious FFS.

I'm looking forward to MiL's tales of how she single handedly constructed an extension on her house, whilst raising several children at 8 months pregnant and holding down a job and making jam.

(She skims over the au pairs and children at boarding school in the tales of child juggling)

[gigi556]

Agree with peafacemcgee. Can't stand the "allowed" bit. Guidelines are simply that...

[ChardonnaysPrettySister]

They do tell you to avoid so many things now, yet somehow the human race managed to survive eating cheese and pate until now.

[drivingmisspotty]

The human race survived, yes. A significant number of very-missed individuals did not. That's the point. Common sense doesn't tell you everything so we do scientific studies.

I agree the guidelines dumb down a bit with 'you' must/you must not' but I think most of us are not very good at judging risk. I'm quite happy really that others have put time and effort into finding out what is best.

I do think sometimes people who have had their children feel defensive about what to did, they of course don't want to feel like they were putting their kids at risk and perhaps are worried about getting it 'wrong' now - so much easier to say they don't believe in it.

YANBU to rant OP it is annoying!

[WonderLime]

I agree with PeaFaceMcgee. Samonella in eggs has been practically eliminated in the UK, yet I still feel guilty eating a runny yolk because of the way the guidelines are worded.

It's also worth pointing out that in 30 years, you may share the same dismay as your mother and MIL when all the guidelines have changed again.

[Beadoren]

Food guidelines gave me crippling anxiety during pregnancy, it's so easy to get it wrong and then panic, I agree the way it's put across is patronising at best and very triggering of you do have anxiety.

Having said that when pregnant with my 2nd I went stay with family in Spain (where they already practically force feed me even if I not pregnant) to be told that the English are far too cautious and it was of course okay to be sat at a table where everyone was chain smoker Camel ciggerettes and i was laughed at for being prissy for not having a glass of wine or eating leftovers. I assumed this was cultural tbh! Never heard of people doing this here. But it's extremely annoying.

[Trifleorbust]

I think some of the more misunderstood guidelines are the ones I get irritated with. Having people frowning at me for having a Diet Coke (no, I don't have to eliminate all caffeine) or an egg (nothing wrong with an egg) or a rare steak (it's seared - it really isn't a problem). Be as cautious as you like, OP, but I prefer a more relaxed approach.

[Tiptoethr0ughthetulips]

I hear you, I found it worse after the baby was born last time. MIL commented on them feeding too much, needing rice in a bottle ( ebf baby) to fill them up. Needed a dummy as just feeding for comfort (so what?). I do remember her commenting on caffeine and how it's a wonder any babies survived in her day. This time around I'm much more sure of myself and cut the comments dead.
The soft egg thing is the only rule I completely disregard, so long as it's line marked if I fancy one I'll have it.

[Laiste]

Oh god the 'we all survived' stuff pisses me off too. Great! Good for you. You all survived. The one's who didn't survive aren't here to tell us why - because they didn't survive - so this is hardly a sound scientific narrative is it?

If my mum ever starts that up i remind her that she smoked all the way through her preg. with me and every one thought that was fine and dandy back then too. Even she has to concede that smoking is pretty much definitely bad for unborn babies.

[Littlecaf]

I'm quite surprised I haven't really experienced it yet (with DS or current pg). I currently have a peanut craving and Someone did say to me "are you eating peanuts?" when I mentioned it, and I said (nicely) "yes, no reason why I shouldn't", she sort of backtracked.

I'd just say casually, "the midwife said there's lots of old info floating about and gave me the latest guidelines, most of it is advice rather than you can or can't" or something vague....

I might get a bit snippy about smoking though or excessive alcohol consumption.

[Sandsnake]

YANBU. Your body, your pregnancy, you get to decide what to eat and drink. If it makes you feel better to stick to the guidelines exactly then do it. Presuming you're not making a massive deal of it and telling your parents that they did it all wrong then nobody has a right to comment. That also stands for pregnant women who are more relaxed about following the rules (as I was!).

Congrats on your pregnancy.

[Iggi999]

Your mother's miscarriages may have had nothing to do with what she ate, I would strongly suggest you don't tell her that her eating caused them.

[Sparklyuggs]

YANBU. I'm not an expert on Fetal Medicine or pregnancy so I'm just sticking to the NHS guidelines. I completely accept the risks for some things like listeria are low but I'm happier not taking them, and that's my choice as a pregnant woman.

I'm having similar arguments with MIL about SIDS guidelines, I appreciate the guidelines were different then but all I can do right now is follow the ones I'm given.

[sparechange]

Meh, I read Expecting Better which explains why most of the guidelines have little or no basis in fac

For every person telling you they all survived on Stilton and Guinness, there are 5 raising eyebrows and making comments about whether you should be eating what you are.

I had a woman at a checkout refusing to sell me a prawn fucking sandwich for lunch until I showed her the NHS page that said it was ok to eat prawns and have people make comments in the gym
That pisses me off far more than having to repeatedly tell an aunt that no, I really don't want patè

[BuzzBuzzBuzzLightyear]

I have been craving tuna this time round. I'm trying really hard not to eat too much of it (midwife said only once a week) but I was feeling really anxious about it.

Then I googled and the NHS website says "don't exceed four cans of tuna per week". Four cans!!! Even I can't eat that much tuna.

So I might treat myself to a tuna sandwich for lunch tomorrow.

[welshweasel]

Stilton is fine though. As are raw eggs, so long as they are lion stamped. A gin isn't going to do any harm either, although I'd draw a line at a pint of it. I got really frustrated when I was pregnant by people telling me off for eating stuff like sushi, seafood, deli ham etc with no good reason.

[londonrach]

Yes we survived but sadly there was alot of miscarriages. Check out france lover of pate and cheese miscarriage rate. I played it safe. Its only 9 months of my life and if that means a heathy baby i can manage without brie! It was hard but dd was worth it! (Not saying miscarriage caused by cheese etc)

[CowParsleyNettle]

Your mother's miscarriages may have had nothing to do with what she ate, I would strongly suggest you don't tell her that her eating caused them.

No, they didn't. And I would never tell her that they did because that would be cruel and incorrect.

We were told about them as children and so grew up knowing that we had basically lost four siblings. That's not a great thought to have hanging over you during your own pregnancy, especially not your first one and I found it very stressful and worrying.

[londonrach]

Littlecaf...they advice you do eat peanuts now as stops baby getting allergy. I hate peanuts and forcefeed myself one or two. Hope dd appreciates this!

[CowParsleyNettle]

welshweasel I cannot stand Gin! So no worries there :D

[ludothedog]

I'm not sure. I had DD when living in Spain. Guidelines there about what you can and can't eat are very different. I don't think there was any overlap in foods that were advised against!

[HeteronormativeHaybales]

The thing about listeriosis is that overall, the risk is low, and the bacteria can turn up in all sorts of foods, but there are certain foods which are more hospitable to their growth and/or where they are more likely to be (which is why hard cheese, even if not pasteurised, is OK because the bacteria can't grow to dangerous levels in it, but in some types of soft cheese it can). And while the risk is low the outcome can be catastrophic, so I personally took those guidelines very seriously as I wanted to minimise that risk. Likewise with toxoplasmosis (although as I don't eat meat the main source of risk there was eliminated for me).