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To check into a hotel tonight?

(38 Posts)
ADiane Mon 29-May-17 15:19:13

I have a new job and have to work double shifts. This means every two weeks I have to do 20 hours straight in a demanding role. The first of these double shifts is tomorrow morning.

DH and I live in a one bedroom flat. This afternoon he sprung on me "Can my friend stay tonight?" This means on the sofa in the front room. Last time this friend stayed lights were on, he was using the bathroom late (all reasonable but hugely inconvenient).

I am so stressed about this shift tomorrow and really needed a relaxing evening and good nights sleep. Our flat is tiny so you can hear people in every room. I am so angry as the friend asked three days ago and DH said yes not thinking about my work. Now it feels too late to tell the friend who lives in another city no.

AIBU to book into a hotel? I'm so angry.

SapphireStrange Mon 29-May-17 15:21:26

It's not too late to say no. Leave your DH to explain why he said yes without asking you.

AnyFucker Mon 29-May-17 15:22:45

How will this solve the problem of your husband ?

Stand up for yourself and tell your H he has to tell his mate he can't stay over after all

Earlybird Mon 29-May-17 15:26:42

Make the friend get a hotel room....!

AnyFucker Mon 29-May-17 15:28:37

Absolutely. Op should not be the one leaving her home....and if she does she is a mug

ADiane Mon 29-May-17 15:31:07

I feel bad for the friend because DH has been a dick. What's making me so angry is that DH is profusely apologising saying how sorry he is and how inconsiderate and he just didn't think and it will never happen again- but when I pointed out how inconvenient it was all he did was tell his friend to be quiet, he didn't tell him no!

If I go to a hotel at least I can be away from him tonight and focus on work prep. Sick of him having a head like a sieve and being generally thoughtless and selfish. When called out he acts so upset and sorry but it's infuriating and like living with a child. He's been mollycoddled by his mother his entire life and I thought he was getting better but things like this remind me he isn't. There is ZERO communication from him. If he had asked me two days ago I would have been able to tell him no and the friend would have had time to sort out accommodation.

HildaOg Mon 29-May-17 15:35:52

Charge it to your husbands credit card. He'll think next time.

AnyFucker Mon 29-May-17 15:36:50

Be a martyr then < <shrug>

Expect similar treatment in the future.

SapphireStrange Mon 29-May-17 15:38:44

What AnyFucker said.

Keep doing the same thing and you will get the same results.

ADiane Mon 29-May-17 15:38:59


You're right. I wish I'd told him to all his friend no. Instead in a rage I booked the hotel room and I'm now furious at myself too.

I feel really upset as I wanted to have a nice day today and go for a walk etc but feel like it's all ruined as I can't be all happy with him as he will immediately think he's forgiven and everything is fine

AnyFucker Mon 29-May-17 15:40:14

But he is forgiven. And all is fine.

In his world.

MatildaTheCat Mon 29-May-17 15:40:25

Tell him and his friend to stay in a hotel so you can chill at home and sleep in your own bed. They can spilt the cost and dh can reflect on how this situation could have been avoided.

AnyFucker Mon 29-May-17 15:41:44

There is a hotel room going spare then ?

You know what to do, op

ADiane Mon 29-May-17 15:43:42

He's paid for the hotel, he gave me the cash. The hotel is next to my work.

Violetcharlotte Mon 29-May-17 15:43:50

Yanbu to check into a hotel. But it would also be totally fine to make DP explain to friend he forgot you were working and needed a quiet night

However what is unreasonable is having to work a 20 hour shift! Is this even legal? What do you do? It sounds extremely unsafe to work 20 hours straight with no sleep.

jamrock Mon 29-May-17 15:46:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goingtobeawesome Mon 29-May-17 15:48:45

Go to the hotel. You aren't being a martyr. Being a martyr would be staying in the flat, not getting any rest and then doing a twenty hour shift.

barrygetamoveonplease Mon 29-May-17 15:54:00

Enjoy the hotel. Make your DH pay.

ADiane Mon 29-May-17 15:54:39

Thanks goingtobeawesome that was my reasoning- I just want to be away to prepare and can't be bothered with feeling guilty about the friend or having a disrupted night here. He is acting very guilty but I'm not happy being around him at all. What a shit bank holiday.

StillDrivingMeBonkers Mon 29-May-17 15:54:41

Charge it to your husbands credit card. He'll think next time.

Yes, do that ^^ because committing fraud in a hissyfit is such a grown up sensible reaction hmm

YetAnotherSpartacus Mon 29-May-17 15:55:31

Charge it to your husbands credit card. He'll think next time

LOL - go to the hotel room and reinforce the mesage for next time. the importat thing is, you must go. Otherwise he will think it is a bluff.

ADiane Mon 29-May-17 15:56:37

I am going I've packed my case.

squeak10 Mon 29-May-17 15:56:41

I'm with jamrock smile

WhereDoAllTheCalculatorsGo Mon 29-May-17 15:56:58

I don't have the stamina to do the 12 hour shifts that were expected at busy times in my last job, let alone 20 hour shifts. Sure fire way to a migraine if I tried.
It can't be good for you, I hope you're not a healthcare provider.

SapphireStrange Mon 29-May-17 15:57:34

In that case, OP, have a lovely peaceful evening.

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