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In letting ds and ddog outside?

(30 Posts)
yayayahey Mon 29-May-17 13:55:44

We live in the States and it's a bank holiday here today too, but for Memorial Day (which is to remember people who died whilst serving in the armed forces.)

We live down the hill from a cemetery. It's a pretty small and old one, nobody has been buried there in the last 70 odd years.

This weekend has seen quite a few people up there, mostly tourists but I expect there's a few who are visiting the graves of relatives.

We've been out in the garden most of the weekend planting the veg patch and ds (3.5) has been playing. He's not a particularly noisy kid at all, doesn't shout or scream (or hasn't this weekend at least grin). Ddog has been out with us too, occasionally will woof when she hears someone up at the cemetery (she has radar ears) but after a minute or so we'll put her inside if she's ignores requests to stop.

I just had somebody come to my door and tell me I should have more respect and keep ds and ddog inside all weekend as they can be heard from the cemetery. I apologised and asked if they were visiting a relative there and they said no they were just sight seeing but were still offended.

I'm in two minds as to whether I'm mortified and have been disrespectful, the cemetery was here before our house was and we choose to move here or just eh, the kid was playing in a normal, babbling to himself kid way and it's silly to have to keep him inside all weekend.

Dh thinks they were rude and ridiculous --but then he has the social awareness of a dead duck so that's no help.
Our nearest neighbours are a 10 minute walk away but I do always try not to let the dog bark or ds be too crazy as I'm aware sound carries.

RainbowJack Mon 29-May-17 13:59:24

Your H is right.

VladmirsPoutine Mon 29-May-17 14:00:08

It's a dog and they bark. I don't think you were being unreasonable.
Perhaps only being unreasonable for referring to the dog as Ddog grin.

yayayahey Mon 29-May-17 14:01:49

I always thought ddog was a bit naff but thought it was some kind of mumsnet prerequisite. grin

TotallyConkers Mon 29-May-17 14:02:56

Your DH is correct. It's not as if your DC and DDog were playing in the actual cemetery. Ignore them and continue to let them outside. Some people will complain about anything.

CalmItKermitt Mon 29-May-17 14:04:42

How ridiculous.

Even if the occupants of the cemetery themselves were complaining, they wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

missyB1 Mon 29-May-17 14:08:00

Calmit grin

harderandharder2breathe Mon 29-May-17 14:11:13

DH is right, they were being ridiculous. Far more disrespectful to go sight seeing in a cemetery imo than to have a child and a dog playing in your own garden!

Don't let idiots stop you living your perfectly normal life!

Tinseleverywhere Mon 29-May-17 14:12:53

I've always heard many old soldiers say they were fighting for a free country where children can play without fear. So they would be happy to know your d.s is having a good time. I'd only keep him in if there was a ceremony or something.

yayayahey Mon 29-May-17 14:16:35


We're really respectful of it. I walk through it most days and pick up other people's dog poops they leave lying up there. angry

There's also a grave of a baby that someone still takes flowers and cuddly toys to a couple of times a year and I always straighten up the flowers and once a year wash the toys in the washing machine. Dh thinks it's weird but I like to think someone would care about ds if they lived near where he was buried.

Soubriquet Mon 29-May-17 14:21:31

Your dh is right

You are in your own garden making acceptable level of noise

They have a cheek telling you to stop

Ignore and carry on

TitaniasCloset Mon 29-May-17 14:27:05

So sweet of you to respect the cemetery and wash the babies toy.

Your dh is right, the person is a lunatic.

FatOldBag Mon 29-May-17 14:30:57

Cheeky bastard "sight-seeing" in a cemetery and telling you you're disrespectful for just living normally there!!

SapphireStrange Mon 29-May-17 14:36:33

They were a twunt.

redshoeblueshoe Mon 29-May-17 14:37:25

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat ?
they were the rude ones shock

Figaro2017 Mon 29-May-17 14:39:05

I'm sure most service personnel of whatever nationality would be horrified.

We fought so as kids could play and life continue as normal.

Lynnm63 Mon 29-May-17 14:51:00

I'd have told them to jog on especially as they were sightseeing. I'd have kept dog and child in if it had been an actual funeral but at my mums funeral the cast of 101 dalmations could have been next door and I'd not have cared. You sound lovely and very restrained.

winglesspegasus Mon 29-May-17 14:53:42

stateside here
when we were small we would go to the cemetaries on memorial day and on the lawn next to the 200 yr old fam plot
have a quiet picnic and talk about the ones we remembered and pass on stories of the ones we never got to know
with our setters galloping around.
your family is what memorial day is about so ignore those TOURISTS

yayayahey Mon 29-May-17 15:08:32

I didn't even think of the tourist aspect being disrespectful. People that are actually visiting family probably find that pretty off putting.

I didn't think we were being awful but being from a different culture and background (only slightly I know) I sometimes second guess myself.

bigbluebus Mon 29-May-17 15:14:14

Unless anyone was holding a minutes silence then I can't see the problem. Our local cemetery is next door to the village Primary school so not very quiet at all.

winglesspegasus Mon 29-May-17 15:19:27

you are showing wonderful respect and caring
thank you
living in new mexico i was introduced to day of the dead celebrations

food family,,music and especially children
floweres everywhere
all in the cemetaries
a wonderful way to honor those that have gone before

Gooseygoosey12345 Mon 29-May-17 15:25:33

How lovely that you look after the baby's grave. That's so sweet.
The "tourists" were being disrespectful, not you! Let your dog and children play! The soldiers fought for a "free country" so you should be able to enjoy it.

yayayahey Mon 29-May-17 15:26:12

I for one would love the thought of kids and dogs playing on my grave. Maybe not shitting on it which a lot of people seem to let their dogs do here.

Our nearest neighbours were letting their 9 year old scream around on his scrambler/ dirt bike last summer. He's was driving across the graves and across our land. shockangry

I told the local policeman and he gave him a royal bollocking and now I see the bike is up for sale. Very glad as I was terrified he'd hit ds tearing across our land to the beach and both him and his parents ignored the signs we put up and our requests to stop.

RB68 Mon 29-May-17 15:43:43

I think the living take precedence over the dead for the most part - there was no disrespect in what you were doing which was ordinary everyday life, had he been on a dirt bike or racing around the cemetery on a normal bike I would have prob thought otherwise but he is a small kid in his own back yard - forget it they are the nutters

DoloresTheRunawayTrain Mon 29-May-17 15:46:45

Tourist was an arsehole and if they wanted to bang on about being respectful, they are the ones who should have stayed indoors in quiet contemplation instead of mawkishly grief whoring around an area they had no connection to, other than it looks pretty.

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