My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To refuse to work with this man again

78 replies

MaidenMotherCrone · 29/05/2017 08:54

For background...,,

Each shift requires 2 people in my dept. At the moment there is just me so I do the work of 2 people. My manager asked me to train a new guy up who would then be with me. Yay I thought, brilliant, no more running myself ragged.

He was ok, he listened and as he had past experience picked things up quickly.

However, he was an absolute creep. In the first hour ( of a bloody 12 hour shift) he mentioned getting naked 3 times. As the day went on he told me he was a Casanova (who fucking says that?) repeatedly stood so close to me I had to ask ( and then tell) him to move away from me. He was telling me some bullshit tale and used the expression ' I can give a hard ride or a smooth ride, it's the ladies choice' WTF! ( just a few examples to give you an idea).

The highlight of the day was when he ran his hand down my arm in such a suggestive way I wanted to punch him. I pushed his hand away and told him to never touch me lagain.

He made my skin crawl.

I changed the conversation at every unacceptable point, I changed from being friendly to cold civil and remained professional. I'm assertive and not one to accept poor behaviour from anyone.

Now my natural reaction would be to deal with this myself and put him in his place in no uncertain terms but this would not protect all the other women at work from him.

I'm going to speak to my manager tomorrow and I will refuse to work with him again. I don't want him in the building never mind near me. 85% of the staff are men and it's bloody hard enough dealing with the sexist shit/abusive comments day in day out without adding this creep.

So, AIBU ?

OP posts:
Pigglesworth · 29/05/2017 09:03

YANBU.

sooperdooper · 29/05/2017 09:05

Ugh what a creep, I think you should tell your manager you don't want to work with him and list every single individual reason why, your manager needs to speak to him about his behaviour

Bobbiepin · 29/05/2017 09:07

YANBU sort the creep out through the proper channels. I missed the chance to do the same with a guy I work with and I've since found out he's done the same with other women. I felt awful.

StatelessPrincess · 29/05/2017 09:08

You would be unreasonable not to speak to your manager! Nobody should have to put up with that, completely unacceptable.

Andrewofgg · 29/05/2017 09:27

Management should give him a ticket back to the Fifties a final written warning and rejig the shifts (at his inconvenience) so you don't work together again ever; or at least for a long time to come.

Re-reading I see he is a newbie. Scrub the warning. A P45.

RaspberryOverloadsOnIcepops · 29/05/2017 09:37

Ugh! He sounds awful. YANBU, and yes speak to manager at earliest opportunity.

And if he's doing that on your first shift, then he'll escalate pretty quickly I'd guess.

How old is he? I'd be wondering why he's left his other job/s if he's worked before. Maybe suggest to your manager talking to his referees again. I doubt you're the first person he's been this blatant to, so did he jump before being pushed from other jobs?

MaidenMotherCrone · 29/05/2017 09:37

Bobbiepin that's my worry exactly. If he'd treat me ( I actually make myself as unfeminine looking as I can for work, no make up, clothes that hide my shape etc. Besides that I'm bloody 48) like that how would he be with the young girls.

I feel a huge responsibility to protect every woman.

OP posts:
doodlejump1980 · 29/05/2017 09:44

Yuck. What a creep.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 29/05/2017 09:45

Is he on a probationary period? If so, all the more reason to raise it with HR and your manager. If he fails his probation he'll be out of the company. Might help the women in his next job as well if it makes him think twice about his behaviour. Report him, asap.

LIZS · 29/05/2017 09:45

Report him for harrassment.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed · 29/05/2017 09:47

Definitely complain, he sounds horrible.

Maudlinmaud · 29/05/2017 09:47

I will never understand why some people act like this. Op report to your manager. You handled it well but someone less assertive might not. What a creep.

HerOtherHalf · 29/05/2017 09:48

When you say new, do you mean new to the company or just to your dept or area? He sounds like he's a sexual harassment ckaim in the making so if he's new to the company your boss would be best just getting rid.

RaspberryOverloadsOnIcepops · 29/05/2017 09:51

He sounds like he's a sexual harassment claim in the making so if he's new to the company your boss would be best just getting rid.

I agree you need to make your manager aware of this. This chap seems so very full on for a newbie.

IJustLostTheGame · 29/05/2017 09:55

I would refuse to work with him.
And I would officially complain about him.
He should be fired immediately. Sexual harassment on day 1? Fucking hell that's bad.
People like make my skin crawl.
He did that shit on his first day.
Imagine what he'll be like in 6 months.

IJustLostTheGame · 29/05/2017 09:57

And casanova was a rapist.


Just sayin'

RandomMess · 29/05/2017 09:59

I would actually see if there are grounds to make a formal sexual harassment complaint against him?

I would hope that the comments etc. would be enough that it would be possible.

Willow2017 · 29/05/2017 10:08

Defunatel6 make a formal complaint of sexual harassment. Wtf is he thinking? First day at work and he is talking non stop about his sexual prowess, touching you and all the rest!
Well done for putting him in his place you are right what if it had been a younger less confident woman? She could have been made to feel so threatened she could have left her job over him.

Hope your manager gives him the boot.

MaidenMotherCrone · 29/05/2017 10:19

He's new to the company, he's come from an agency.

I have a good relationship with my manager but in some aspects he can be rather flakey. If I didn't make a stand i.e by refusing to work with him and highlighting the fact it's his responsibility, given the information, to protect other women I think he'd just put him on another shift.

I'm angry at his behaviour yes but as I said I'm assertive and I really can look after myself but I'm fucking fuming that this man is going about treating women in this way.

Usually I field any sexists/abusive comments to 'Big Dave' ( massive Viking man within shouting distance who is a feministGrin) i.e

Oy Maiden, nice arse, bet you love a bit of bum fun.

Me... Shouts To big Dave....'Big Dave X thinks you've got a nice backside and thinks you'd enjoy receiving anal' Big Dave employs death stare, educates X and X skulks away.

Every workplace needs a Big Dave Grin

OP posts:
RB68 · 29/05/2017 10:20

At the very least its sexual harassment and you need to complain to your manager in VERY EXPLICIT terms so he is in no way uncertain as to why you refuse to be exposed to that crap again

NewIdeasToday · 29/05/2017 10:27

I'm not sure if the 'Big Dave' thing is a joke. But your example is terrible if true. You seem to have a very odd and completely inappropriate workplace cultur, that may be giving the new person the view that his behaviour is acceptable.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 29/05/2017 10:30

he's come from an agency

In that case I strongly suggest you mention this to the agency as well; if they've got any sense at all they're unlikely to place him elsewhere

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

KatoPotato · 29/05/2017 10:33

Big Dave? Seriously?

You've probably undermined any credibility you possibly had in the workplace to make a complaint!

Maudlinmaud · 29/05/2017 10:39

I think the Big Dave comment is a joke. Right op?

MaidenMotherCrone · 29/05/2017 10:40

Newideas no sadly Big Dave is not a joke. We don't all work in similar environments though do we. My role is specific to manufacturing, and it's a very masculine environment. A lot of men cannot hack it never mind women. On the whole everyone is very busy and just gets on with their work but the example I gave is not uncommon.

Regardless of where I work the new guy is a creep and it's not acceptable.

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.