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To refuse to work with this man again

(79 Posts)
MaidenMotherCrone Mon 29-May-17 08:54:50

For background...,,

Each shift requires 2 people in my dept. At the moment there is just me so I do the work of 2 people. My manager asked me to train a new guy up who would then be with me. Yay I thought, brilliant, no more running myself ragged.

He was ok, he listened and as he had past experience picked things up quickly.

However, he was an absolute creep. In the first hour ( of a bloody 12 hour shift) he mentioned getting naked 3 times. As the day went on he told me he was a Casanova (who fucking says that?) repeatedly stood so close to me I had to ask ( and then tell) him to move away from me. He was telling me some bullshit tale and used the expression ' I can give a hard ride or a smooth ride, it's the ladies choice' WTF! ( just a few examples to give you an idea).

The highlight of the day was when he ran his hand down my arm in such a suggestive way I wanted to punch him. I pushed his hand away and told him to never touch me lagain.

He made my skin crawl.

I changed the conversation at every unacceptable point, I changed from being friendly to cold civil and remained professional. I'm assertive and not one to accept poor behaviour from anyone.

Now my natural reaction would be to deal with this myself and put him in his place in no uncertain terms but this would not protect all the other women at work from him.

I'm going to speak to my manager tomorrow and I will refuse to work with him again. I don't want him in the building never mind near me. 85% of the staff are men and it's bloody hard enough dealing with the sexist shit/abusive comments day in day out without adding this creep.

So, AIBU ?

Pigglesworth Mon 29-May-17 09:03:08

YANBU.

sooperdooper Mon 29-May-17 09:05:46

Ugh what a creep, I think you should tell your manager you don't want to work with him and list every single individual reason why, your manager needs to speak to him about his behaviour

Bobbiepin Mon 29-May-17 09:07:03

YANBU sort the creep out through the proper channels. I missed the chance to do the same with a guy I work with and I've since found out he's done the same with other women. I felt awful.

StatelessPrincess Mon 29-May-17 09:08:19

You would be unreasonable not to speak to your manager! Nobody should have to put up with that, completely unacceptable.

Andrewofgg Mon 29-May-17 09:27:55

Management should give him a ticket back to the Fifties a final written warning and rejig the shifts (at his inconvenience) so you don't work together again ever; or at least for a long time to come.

Re-reading I see he is a newbie. Scrub the warning. A P45.

RaspberryOverloadsOnIcepops Mon 29-May-17 09:37:11

Ugh! He sounds awful. YANBU, and yes speak to manager at earliest opportunity.

And if he's doing that on your first shift, then he'll escalate pretty quickly I'd guess.

How old is he? I'd be wondering why he's left his other job/s if he's worked before. Maybe suggest to your manager talking to his referees again. I doubt you're the first person he's been this blatant to, so did he jump before being pushed from other jobs?

MaidenMotherCrone Mon 29-May-17 09:37:58

Bobbiepin that's my worry exactly. If he'd treat me ( I actually make myself as unfeminine looking as I can for work, no make up, clothes that hide my shape etc. Besides that I'm bloody 48) like that how would he be with the young girls.

I feel a huge responsibility to protect every woman.

doodlejump1980 Mon 29-May-17 09:44:12

Yuck. What a creep.

DarklyDreamingDexter Mon 29-May-17 09:45:13

Is he on a probationary period? If so, all the more reason to raise it with HR and your manager. If he fails his probation he'll be out of the company. Might help the women in his next job as well if it makes him think twice about his behaviour. Report him, asap.

LIZS Mon 29-May-17 09:45:26

Report him for harrassment.

SaskiaRembrandtWasFramed Mon 29-May-17 09:47:23

Definitely complain, he sounds horrible.

Maudlinmaud Mon 29-May-17 09:47:33

I will never understand why some people act like this. Op report to your manager. You handled it well but someone less assertive might not. What a creep.

HerOtherHalf Mon 29-May-17 09:48:19

When you say new, do you mean new to the company or just to your dept or area? He sounds like he's a sexual harassment ckaim in the making so if he's new to the company your boss would be best just getting rid.

RaspberryOverloadsOnIcepops Mon 29-May-17 09:51:37

He sounds like he's a sexual harassment claim in the making so if he's new to the company your boss would be best just getting rid.

I agree you need to make your manager aware of this. This chap seems so very full on for a newbie.

IJustLostTheGame Mon 29-May-17 09:55:56

I would refuse to work with him.
And I would officially complain about him.
He should be fired immediately. Sexual harassment on day 1? Fucking hell that's bad.
People like make my skin crawl.
He did that shit on his first day.
Imagine what he'll be like in 6 months.

IJustLostTheGame Mon 29-May-17 09:57:28

And casanova was a rapist.

Just sayin'

RandomMess Mon 29-May-17 09:59:31

I would actually see if there are grounds to make a formal sexual harassment complaint against him?

I would hope that the comments etc. would be enough that it would be possible.

Willow2017 Mon 29-May-17 10:08:35

Defunatel6 make a formal complaint of sexual harassment. Wtf is he thinking? First day at work and he is talking non stop about his sexual prowess, touching you and all the rest!
Well done for putting him in his place you are right what if it had been a younger less confident woman? She could have been made to feel so threatened she could have left her job over him.

Hope your manager gives him the boot.

MaidenMotherCrone Mon 29-May-17 10:19:40

He's new to the company, he's come from an agency.

I have a good relationship with my manager but in some aspects he can be rather flakey. If I didn't make a stand i.e by refusing to work with him and highlighting the fact it's his responsibility, given the information, to protect other women I think he'd just put him on another shift.

I'm angry at his behaviour yes but as I said I'm assertive and I really can look after myself but I'm fucking fuming that this man is going about treating women in this way.

Usually I field any sexists/abusive comments to 'Big Dave' ( massive Viking man within shouting distance who is a feministgrin) i.e

Oy Maiden, nice arse, bet you love a bit of bum fun.

Me... Shouts To big Dave....'Big Dave X thinks you've got a nice backside and thinks you'd enjoy receiving anal' Big Dave employs death stare, educates X and X skulks away.

Every workplace needs a Big Dave grin

RB68 Mon 29-May-17 10:20:47

At the very least its sexual harassment and you need to complain to your manager in VERY EXPLICIT terms so he is in no way uncertain as to why you refuse to be exposed to that crap again

NewIdeasToday Mon 29-May-17 10:27:03

I'm not sure if the 'Big Dave' thing is a joke. But your example is terrible if true. You seem to have a very odd and completely inappropriate workplace cultur, that may be giving the new person the view that his behaviour is acceptable.

Puzzledandpissedoff Mon 29-May-17 10:30:42

he's come from an agency

In that case I strongly suggest you mention this to the agency as well; if they've got any sense at all they're unlikely to place him elsewhere

KatoPotato Mon 29-May-17 10:33:27

Big Dave? Seriously?

You've probably undermined any credibility you possibly had in the workplace to make a complaint!

Maudlinmaud Mon 29-May-17 10:39:01

I think the Big Dave comment is a joke. Right op?

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