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DH doesn't want me using mumsnet anymore.

(250 Posts)
PullUpAGlass Mon 29-May-17 08:40:53

And he might read this since he's said he's going to trawl through the forum to prove that it's a terrible place.

All started last night when I made a joke to DH about LTB. He asked what that meant so I told him. This started an all night argument about how he hates mumsnet, thinks it's dangerous for relationships, thinks it's a forum full of man-hating and stories about blokes with their nobs out, it's a site which is degrading to men and offensive for women to use. He went on to say that it's not normal for women to obsess over a forum where everyone hangs out their dirty laundry and he wouldn't mind if I did the "normal woman thing of complaining to friends over a coffee" hmm but mumsnet is beyond that, he hates it and does not want me using it anymore.

He also declared that mumsnet is "destroying his faith in human kind" and that he thinks he hates women.

I personally think he's being sexist, controlling and constantly gunning for a row.

So AIBU? Sick of the constant arguining (not just over mumsnet but about everything, it's constant, there is always "something")

FeckTheMagicDragon Mon 29-May-17 08:42:22

Why are you with him? What do you get out of this relationship?

BIWI Mon 29-May-17 08:42:21

There's only one thing to say:



TheNaze73 Mon 29-May-17 08:42:30

He can feel what he likes and you can't argue a feeling.

He sounds a bit melodramatic

BrianCoxWithBellsOn Mon 29-May-17 08:42:31

My reply would have been "diddums"

CaptainWarbeck Mon 29-May-17 08:43:07

Sounds like he's pretty insecure about himself and your relationship!

FeckTheMagicDragon Mon 29-May-17 08:43:15

Also - do you think it's normal for anyone to try and control what you read, think and say?

BertrandRussell Mon 29-May-17 08:43:21


(I've never said that before-but he sounds horrid)

FannyWisdom Mon 29-May-17 08:43:41

On the basis of 'there is always something's I'm going to trot out LTB.

He clearly doesn't like any independence you have so have a think.
Surely he doesn't want to live a life of misery and control and neither do you.

Shoxfordian Mon 29-May-17 08:44:14

Wow. He hates women? He sounds like a misogynistic idiot. Tell him it's none of his business whether you use mumsnet or not.

Oh and ltb grin

Aartappel Mon 29-May-17 08:44:15

You should be able to use whatever forum you want. And "he thinks he hates women now" oh deary me do you really want to be with someone like this? MN does have its downsides and veering on extreme opinions at times but as far as forums go it's the most supportive and inclusive one I've ever been on!

Maudlinmaud Mon 29-May-17 08:45:14

He's being ridiculous. If you are reading this Mr PullUp Glass have a titter of wit.

RitaMills Mon 29-May-17 08:47:23

Threatened by a parenting website? Bet he wouldn't have such an issue if it was Piston Heads or some other such site, sad little man.

BarnsligRav Mon 29-May-17 08:47:28

My ex was the same. He abused me for years but apparently the only reason I eventually left him was because of "bitter, man hating harpies who have no joy in their lives other than convincing women to leave their happy marriages".

CaoNiMartacus Mon 29-May-17 08:48:11

"stories about blokes with their nobs out"

To be fair, that's the only reason I use MN...

NotSoEagerBeaver Mon 29-May-17 08:48:16

He sounds jealous that you've found something you enjoy, and maybe worried something here will change your opinion of him? I agree with insecure

RhiWrites Mon 29-May-17 08:48:45

Well, when I tell people about mumsnet it's usually the dramatic bits, not the lovely supportive ones. So I can see why someone might not like the sound of it.

But does your husband mean to come across as a controlling men's rights activist? Since he's going to read this if like him to think about how this looks. He's trying to police not just your internet use but your access to a support forum.

A hundred posts saying LTB aren't going to help here. This is about the problems in your marriage, whether they are fixable and how the two of you are working on them. Demands aren't helpful.

Could you go to counselling together so a mediator can help you discuss these things directly?

Trifleorbust Mon 29-May-17 08:48:54

He hates women? And he would like to curtail your access to other women? Interesting.

trulybadlydeeply Mon 29-May-17 08:48:55

And how exactly does he think he's going to stop you using MN? How will he even know you are using it?

CaptainWarbeck Mon 29-May-17 08:49:38

I'm intrigued about all these 'stories about blokes with their nobs out'.

What bit of MN has he been reading?!

Phoebefromfriends Mon 29-May-17 08:50:02

Is he secretly on here and has an active thread he doesn't want you to see? He sounds like an idiot, tell him to wind his neck in.

PullUpAGlass Mon 29-May-17 08:50:48

Thing is I don't mix well and don't socialise much. I see a couple of specific friends maybe once every few months for an hour but other than that I'm a bit of a hermit (by choice, always been a loner) so quite often, mumsnet is the one time I can read about what other women my age are up to. Read various opinions on stuff like politics, finances, travel, kids etc. I rarely watch TV and don't ready "women" magazines. If I often sat down to a spread story about how "I have falling in love with my brother and now we're expecting a baby" etc I could understand his point but I don't do any of that shit.

Last night we were watching that handmaiden thing and I got a text off a friend saying she's bought me a gift from Saudi Arabia. I told him and his response was "and? I'm not bothered about "lisa", you're supposed to be watching this, you wanted it on and you've been on your phone all night and I'm sat here like a mug staring at the screen" confused by phone had been on charge and that was the first time I'd picked it up, as I got a text message!

BarnsligRav Mon 29-May-17 08:51:06

I'm sure he'll find plenty of "proof" on here btw, if he counts up the number of Ltbs. But he won't be paying attention to the context, as in most of them are jokes. And he'd probably think a fair few of the men who are genuinely villified are entirely justified in their actions.

Trifleorbust Mon 29-May-17 08:51:56

He sounds mighty controlling, OP.

NotYoda Mon 29-May-17 08:51:58

He feels threatened by;

Women having opinions
Women pointing out shitty behaviour
Women supporting each other
Women joking with each other

He is insecure and as a corollary of that he is threatened by women


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