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To find this disrespectful?

(125 Posts)
Littlemissindependent Sun 28-May-17 08:25:58

'D'p and I on a weekend break. Fairly new relationship but so far all going really well. Yesterday afternoon whilst out, 3 'women' pissed out of their trees thought it would be hilarious to flash him their boobs hmm. Which he then thoughtfully high fived them for.
I will be the first to admit that I have feck all self confidence, so a very small part of me does wonder if I'm in the wrong. But for the most part I just feel he was really disrespectful and inconsiderate towards me. He doesn't think he's done anything wrong. Am I overreacting?

thethoughtfox Sun 28-May-17 08:28:11

Ewwwwwww. That was not cool of him.

Soozikinzii Sun 28-May-17 08:30:17

Not cool but not worth falling out about xx It's not like he asked them to is it xx

JeffJarrett Sun 28-May-17 08:30:20

Oh dear. How trashy.

No, that isn't on at all. I'd be pissed off with his reaction too, self conscious or not.

carjacker1985 Sun 28-May-17 08:30:40

If they were drunk and flashing him in the middle of the day maybe he felt a bit awkard and on the spot and didn't know what to do- a high-five is still a really strange response though. Very weird. I'd absolutely want an apology- how would he feel if some bloke had flashed his bits and you and you'd high-fived him?

carjacker1985 Sun 28-May-17 08:31:37

Also I'd say it was as disrespectful to those women as it was to you. Who high-fives boobs, is he 13?

TheStoic Sun 28-May-17 08:33:16

I'd say he was not for me.

Unless I was 18yo and wanted to be with a frat boy.

Stubbornmare Sun 28-May-17 08:35:15

Classy. I'd be annoyed too. However it's probably best to brush this aside. Make your feelings clear then leave it. Enjoy the rest of your break. It's a new relationship, he probably didn't know it would upset you or just wasn't thinking at all. It's a stupid thing for him to do but he didn't ask to see their boob's.

00Salix00 Sun 28-May-17 08:38:41

I'd be more concerned about what his reaction said about his attitude toward women in general to be honest.

dudsville Sun 28-May-17 08:42:30

Could he have at all just high fived as a panic response? Talk with him, talking at the time of an event can save up time spent worrying. And if it turns out that he's an ass then you're also saving time by finding out sooner!

araiwa Sun 28-May-17 08:42:57

he high 5ed them because he was entering in to the spirit of fun with those women

move on

JuicyStrawberry Sun 28-May-17 08:43:04

Yuck. He wasn't classy and they weren't classy either. Yuck yuck yuck.

Littlemissindependent Sun 28-May-17 08:45:10

I made it very clear to him afterwards that I found it disrespectful and that if that was what he was looking for then he was with the wrong person. He apologised for upsetting me but I get the impression he still doesn't think he did anything wrong. Reluctant to finish a relationship that's made me happier than I have been in years but it's left me feeling quite inferior and unsettled. I just don't have the self confidence to deal with things like that.

TheStoic Sun 28-May-17 08:45:21

he high 5ed them because he was entering in to the spirit of fun with those women

move on


Littlemissindependent Sun 28-May-17 08:46:22

Thank you stoic glad I'm not the only one who found that comment hmm

Fairylea Sun 28-May-17 08:47:35

Is he a teenager?! That's really odd behaviour to be honest, especially when he's on a date with you! How weird. It would be a no from me.

TheStoic Sun 28-May-17 08:47:38

I just don't have the self confidence to deal with things like that.

My self-confidence is fine, and that's exactly why I wouldn't put up with that shit. Don't fall into the trap of thinking the problem is yours. It really isn't.

carjacker1985 Sun 28-May-17 08:47:55

He apologised for upsetting you, that's a start. Use this as an opportunity to make it clear that treating women like that is not okay. He should hopefully take this on board and use it as an opportunity to be better. If his response is that it is okay to treat women like that, then at least you know sooner than later that he's a sexist pig.

Iamastonished Sun 28-May-17 08:48:36

"he high 5ed them because he was entering in to the spirit of fun with those women...move on"

I might expect that from a teenager, not a grown up.

It would massively put me off man TBH. I know OH wouldn't high five women for doing this.

pinkdelight Sun 28-May-17 08:54:43

I don't know what the appropriate reaction to three women flashing their boobs would be. Even trying to ignore it would be weird. Not sure how he's disrespecting them as they're hardly being respectable. If you're clearly uncomfortable with it and he's acting like he's loving it then that's disrespectful to you and yanbu, but if it was just a bizarre moment and he is laughing it off, I probably would too. It is really bizarre, unless you're in Blackpool or one of those Magaluf type places where people are routinely wasted, in which case highfiving boob flashes is prob de rigeur.

Littlemissindependent Sun 28-May-17 08:57:33

pink I found it disrespectful to me, not them, given that I was sat opposite him. And no, not Blackpool or magaluf, somewhere supposedly very 'nice' which just makes it even more bizarre.

swingofthings Sun 28-May-17 08:58:06

Your focusing on the disrespect to you part, I would be focusing on the 'he's being an idiot if he thinks that's worth a high five' part!

So really, the question is: is this the only think he is an idiot over, and if so why, or is it part of who he is and maybe he'd hidden it well until now!

araiwa Sun 28-May-17 08:58:22

what should he have done?


Littlemissindependent Sun 28-May-17 08:59:45

What should he have done? I don't know, but leaning over onto their punt and high fiving them and then pointing out to me that one of them had their nipple pierced wasn't exactly the classiest reaction.

Saz41 Sun 28-May-17 09:01:33

If my husband had done that I would have laughed. Why make a massive deal over it.

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