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Need a rant AIBU

(9 Posts)
bbbbbinng Sat 27-May-17 22:22:29

Hey guys would like a bit of perspective here I just feel really annoyed right now.

Im 25 and a single parent and have a DC (2). I'm living with my parents and have done since splitting with child's father mid pregnancy. He is not involved and left me for someone else.

I have completely given up any kind of social lifeI had since having my child purely due to these childcare issues.

I have never once asked my parents for help with childcare. My mum has always offered to look after DC for the night if I ever want to go out.

The problem is whenever I have taken up this offer which has been about 4 times in the past 2 years. She's rung me up every single fucking time at about 9pm asking me to come home immediately as DC 'won't settle'

(Note it's never my intention to stay out all night, only till about 12am latest. I'm not going out drinking, just meals with friends)

I just feel really annoyed tbh. I just think why bloody offer in the first place!!??

I've just had to cut yet another night short and by the time I got home DC was fast asleep.

Every time I question her my mum gets really defensive and it just turns into a horrible argument.

Aibu in feeling really frustrated by this?? Or should I just suck it up and just accept that I'll never have any me time ever again?

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Sat 27-May-17 22:25:09

Does she secretly love having you all there so much she doesn't want you to get a new life and move out?

Sexstarvedredhead Sat 27-May-17 22:26:24

That sounds very akward. You could book a babysitter or go out later after the children are settled.

AlmostAJillSandwich Sat 27-May-17 22:28:36

I don't understand why you accepted her offer the third time if both the first and second ended this way.
Or, you could simply tell her that as it is not an emergency you're not coming back and not to contact you again unless he is seriously ill.

kaytee87 Sat 27-May-17 22:30:24

If he is 2 can you not put him to bed at 7ish then go out afterwards?

Neome Sat 27-May-17 22:38:47

Alternatively try a completely different tack. Imagine your Mum is not completely confident DD will settle and needs practice. Sign up to 6 weeks of something you want to do one evening a week (bonus if she'd think it was a good idea) which allows you to get home around 9.30. Could be a class, fitness thing, social thing but not ultra important just in case you do have to leave early.

If it works by the end of the eg 6 weeks you'll all be used to it.

By the way, totally feel your pain. I have not had an evening out since DS born now 3.5 you smile best not to think about that too much!

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Sat 27-May-17 22:40:54

Yes, put him down first then go out after

SheRaaarghPrincessOfPower Sat 27-May-17 22:43:23

Or, just ignore the call. If it was serious she'd leave a message.

What does your Dad say about this, can you get him to mediate?

bbbbbinng Sat 27-May-17 22:49:46

I do put her to bed around 7 and she normally settles well. It just always seems to be the nights I go out she doesn't which is typical. It's almost like she can sense I'm going out!! I say to my mum that I'm happy to stay with her until she falls asleep and my mum says 'no it's fine I'll deal with her, you go out' and then I get a phone call from her around 9/10 asking me to come back. I just feel so utterly fed up.

I'd like to eventually go out dating and meet someone but how am I ever going to be able to do this if she carries on like this?

It's weird because apart from this we all have a lovely relationship and she's really good with my dc.

I'm saving up for a deposit for my own place but it's taking forever ATM.

Maybe if I actually paid her to babysit she might actually let me have a proper night out but that just feels weird sad

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