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Small moments of happiness - but none include my child

(10 Posts)
Jennyhatesjazz0 Sat 27-May-17 21:29:27

Ok, this is kind of a TAAT but reading and nodding along to all the small moments of joy thread, I realised that all the little things that make me happy and get me through the day are things unrelated to my (16 week old) DS. Apart from when I'm feeding him and I realise he's falling asleep.

I love him, dearly. I don't have PND. HAve a very supportive DH. I love little things like the smiles and giggles etc... but they don't feature on my list of tiny pockets of daily happiness.

Is this normal??

mumonashoestring Sat 27-May-17 21:35:31

Honestly? Babies are boring. When you're knackered, sore, not getting enough time to yourself, joy comes in the form of a bath with no-one attached to you or a coffee that's actually above tepid and accompanied by a good book that you can concentrate on.

As they get older & develop a bit more personality/ability to interact it balances out.

Borntorunfast Sat 27-May-17 21:38:02

Yes it's normal. Babies are a bit boring and a truck load of hard, sleep deprived work. As they get older you get more back from them, if you see what I mean. When they're tiny, or when mine were tiny, I loved the bones if them but it was a bit relentless. It gets better x

plantsitter Sat 27-May-17 21:38:46

If you had a 5 year old and said this I would honestly think you a bit odd. But a 16 week old? Nope. You'll look back on this time with joy, possibly, but at the time it's too bloody knackering and down-the-rabbit-hole-y.

BadToTheBone Sat 27-May-17 21:38:52

Perfectly normal in my opinion. Mine are 15 and 11 now and dropping them off st school on my day off appears very high on my list.

acquiescence Sat 27-May-17 21:39:25

Yes it's ok. My 'pockets of joy' only started involving my LO when he got to about a year old. Even now some days do not contain a lot of joy. I still love him and think he is wonderful, some days are hard though.

Cornettoninja Sat 27-May-17 21:57:48

I think you're normal, it's only the last few months that I've really started missing dd (17 months) in a way that could be described as more than biological - hormone driven iyswm - because she's a definite person now. Not very well explained, sorry!

Loved the bones of her from the first kick, but newborns are haaaarrrrdddd and knackering. Breaks are welcome grin plus you only get glimpses of their personalities, their relentless dictators before 1.

You've plenty of foibles and quirks to come that you will fall head over heels for and look forward to every day.

Talith Sun 28-May-17 07:25:31

I can't recall much of the newborn or toddler days. It was a harrowing blur of exhaustion. Now they are primary age it's lovely. I actually feel that heart pain you get with real joyful love and enjoy their company.

PeanutButterIsEverything Sun 28-May-17 07:38:55

I felt this at the same sort of time too - pockets of joy were getting to go to the post box or have a sit down or bath ON MY OWN! Basically anything that didn't involve holding the baby as that was what I did most of the day (and much of the night too). Yeah he was cute and I did have plenty of 'gazing at him in wonder' moments but it was mostly gruelling and exhausting.

Fast forward a year (he's 18 months now) and I can honestly say he is an absolute delight at the moment- fingers crossed he seems to be sleeping well and is a generally happy little guy, loves running around and giggling. Yesterday we had a lovely day chilling in the garden (in between showers) watching him play on his new slide.

People say it gets easier and you want to throttle them but it really really does. For us it was as he started walking, he got more tired and slept better, we felt more human, he was easier to take places, breastfed less often and I was back at work part time so felt less swamped by him. I'm sure in another year things might be different once the proper toddler tantrums have kicked in but for now I really am savouring every minute (well most of them).

mistermagpie Sun 28-May-17 08:08:37

Very normal. Babies are boring when they are tiny. I have an 8 week old and my only real pockets of joy around him are when he smiles and when he's asleep!

My days are filled with pockets of joy from my 22 month old though, absolutely jam packed with them. Honestly. It's not because I love him more, it's because he does more stuff. He talks and sings and dances and makes me laugh and makes me proud many many times a day. (In the interests of full disclosure he also drives me crazy and makes me want to go and live in solitude in a monastery many many times a day, but you weren't asking about that!).

Give it time, some people adore tiny scrunchy newborns but for others the joy comes when you can interact with your child properly. Nothing wrong with either. I think for me, I imagined myself with 'children' rather than 'babies', so the baby stage is just to be endured until you get to the fun bit.

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