To write all this down...(26 Posts)
Not expecting any responses. Just want to get this off my chest. There isn't a thing (not even one)that I like about my appearance and I'm feeling crappy.
Things I hate about my appearance...
My hair. It's shit. It was lovely and long and I had a beautiful balayage. For some stupid reason the last time I went to the salonI had it all chopped off and had a dark block colour. What the hell was I thinking?! I look like a primary school child!
Also I'm getting grey hairs (I'm 29 FFS!)
My skin. Also shit. I have acne. My face is the worst but it's all over my body too although thankfully not as severe.
I'm SO hairy! Dark complexion along with dark hair = hairy! I have a moustache. If I bleach it it's still bad, if I wax it comes back thicker and darker. Everywhere on my body is hairy (even fingers and toes)
My eyes are horrible. Small and piggish with a slight turn in one of them.
Eyebrows = horrendous. I can't control them. When I have them threaded they look good for a max of 2 days before they start coming through again.
Boobs. One bigger than the other- normal I know but really noticeable on me. White stretch marks and loose skin.
Belly is a complete 'Mum tum' with an overhanging apron.
I'm 5ft nothing and wish I was taller. If I even put on 2lb I can really notice it.
Feet are grim and extra wide and look like pigs trotters.
Fingers are chubby and nails are bitten down to nothing.
I look and feel horrible. Even when I have a 'pamper session' and make an effort I still feel disgusting.
Make up doesn't cover my acne and no amount of nice clothes make me look or feel any better.
I've never been one to care about looks too much and have always been quite happy and confident.
You are not gross you will be happy and confident again.
Guaranteed you are not gross Op. what else is going on with you? Hope you're ok.
you are obviously going through a bad patch at the moment, has this coincided with something happening in your life and you are now putting yourself down over ?
I could have written this post Op.
I too have been feeling really negative about every aspect of my appearance.
I've decided to take baby steps in terms of walking a bit more every day - hence username - and just slowly tweaking my non-existent beauty routine so that I feel a bit more 'groomed'.
Is this something you could try?
Would electrolysis be a possibility for dark hair ?
Just getting out a bit more in daylight for a walk had made a massive difference to my mood.
I'm pretty certain no-one around you thinks you're gross, it is all a matter of perception.
You are not gross, you do sound deeply unhappy though. Stop looking for the 'bad' things-I'm certain they aren't as awful as you imagine.
Tell us one good thing about you. Even if it's the back of your knees or something - just one thing.
We all grow old and wrinkly, regardless of how beautiful we are or not!
Your hair will grow back, you can get your tache lasered (lots of ppl have done it, including me) start walking everywhere you can to get some exercise and get those endorphins moving to make you feel better. I think few humans are asymmetrical. People seem to have one eye or book bigger, or one thumb fatter than either.
I have a theory that my right boob is bigger because I'm right handed!
YY to the one 'good thing' I'll start-I have awesome thighs-this is not a natural awesomeness unfortunately, I have to actually fucking run to create said awesomeness but hey, has to be done
Your turn OP....
So... lots of things you don't like, but is there something you are a little bit pleased/ proud of? Not necessarily appearance based
Totally agree to the one good thing. There is something, for sure.
But also - have you been tested for PCSO? It's a very, very common reason for both acne and excess bodily hair. Apologies if I'm talking out if turn.
The people I am drawn to in the first instance are the ones who smile at me, make eye contact and say 'hello'. I noticed this after reading some research that said that the thing most men find attractive about women (I know, shallow) is a warm smile.
Skin, weight, hair, etc much less important than a friendly manner.
Pick one thing and work on that - your hair or your hands would be a quick start.
I only stopped biting my nails two weeks ago (after 48 years, I had hypnotherapy) and I'm already pleased with the difference it's made.
I didn't expect any replies- Thank you!
I honestly struggle to find one good thing I like about myself physically but if I had to choose...I've got a tattoo that I like. Does that count?!
I'm my own worst enemy. I do no exercise, I smoke, mostly drink tea and rarely eat fruit or veg. I know these things will make a big difference I'm just struggling to find the motivation when I'm feeling so vile.
I've decided I'm going to go for a light jog tomorrow. A small step but a step in the right direction hopefully.
I'm not sure about PCOS. It's not something I've ever really thought about to be honest. I always assumed the hair thing was because I'm dark.
There are so many things I want to make better with my body but I just don't know where to start!
A light jog sounds awesome! Well done OP!
Try walking for a minute then running for a minute, and do that a few times.
What a fab start- well done you
I know it's hard to believe as I don't know what you look like but I'd kill to look like you. I have Marfans (google it) and there's not one day where I don't wish I could walk down the street and not have kids sniggering or openly staring or if I could just find one outfit that ensures my ribcage isn't visibly more prominent than my hips.
We all have shit days but just try and focus on what's good. Your mum yum? Well it's like that because you carried your child. Your wide feet? Well, they walk and are fully functional.
Also I'm going to get eyebrows threaded tomorrow- I find this makes a huge difference. I know a place that threads your whole face for £30 so may give it a go to give my confidence a boost.
I don't think you're shallow at all fedup. If I didn't have Marfans I'm sure I'd be exactly the same.
There are days when everything is just shit and it's easy to blame it on something that you don't have much control over (like how you're physically made up). I think it's about trying to fix the things you can control or it's impossible not to feel shit all the time.
Hi op. I understand how you are feeling and self esteem is even worse with chronic illness :'(. Have you thought of going swimming or joining a gym to help you feel a bit more confident? I joined a gym despite my illness so I could feel stronger and feel better about myself. It definitely helps and getting out meeting people.
I agree with everything you said op. If I was feeling really shit my list would sound so like yours. My sister and I recently had a conversation about teen acne (which she suffered badly with) and I said oh that's one thing I didn't worry about. I just worried about always being fat... She replied fat was the only thing I didn't worry about.
It made me think, as I was absolutely obsessed with how awful and fat I looked as a teenager (when I really wasn't 12/14 max) and am now (really am). It has been my obsession. All I think about. I thought she was stunning!!! So to hear her catalogue of all she hated really stopped me in my tracks.
Im now trying to be kinder to myself. I def am fat and have a "manly" face with a resting bitch face... But I have lovely calves and ankles and really nice forearms and hands... That's the best I can do right now but it's helping... A little.
You really are down on yourself.
I certainly agree that PCOS may be a factor. If you go to your gp and tell him/her how awful you are feeling and stress it is really getting you down he/she may be able to help. DD has PCOS she too had excessive hair. She saw her GP who firstly treated her with a cream which helped to inhibit hair growth.
She was then referred for Laser hair removal on NHS and it transformed her life. This may be an option for you. If not on NHS then maybe you could have it done privately? I understand it is expensive but sites such as Groupon and Woucher quite often have offers on.
With regard to feeling like 'shit' my advice would be to put your headphones on and listen to music/radio or audio book while out for a walk.
Use hand cream it doesn't need to be expensive but together with a nail strengthener your hands will look and feel better.
Cleanse and moisturise daily put a little lipstick/gloss on and put a little Vaseline in your eyebrows to tame them.
Treat yourself to a good shampoo and conditioner and make sure your hair is clean and glossy until you get back to a hairstyle you like.
Finally, be kind to yourself. Treat yourself to coffee and a magazine every now and then. Treat yourself to a walk and fresh air don't look on it as a chore.
The more you can value yourself the more your confidence will grow.
Good luck OP
Op. I bit my nails for 50 years then started getting them done (shellac). Pale colours while they were really short but it stopped me biting and now I can wear totally outrageous colours. I never thought id be able to stop.
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