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relationship help?

(16 Posts)
lovemybabies3 Sat 27-May-17 18:04:41

not sure why i feel like this, explain abit about history! been with partner 10yrs! 3 kids! whenever he plans to go out drinking i get myself so worked up and feel like i could throw up! sounds so dramatic! he doesnt no i feel like this as i would never stop him! i dont no if its because i dont trust him when hes had a drink or what! i hate it when he drinks! when we 1st got together he was horrible when drinking, he used to msg girls behind my back! he stopped drinking for a while to save relationship but now he drinks occasionally! when boxing or an importnant football match! hes not as bad as used to but not sure if its because i cant let go of how he used to be! sorry for long post and if confusing! just feel rubbish now! hes going out soon

pinkyredrose Sat 27-May-17 18:05:44

Have you asked him to stop drinking or cut down?!

PurpleDaisies Sat 27-May-17 18:08:23

When he's drinking, is he getting really wasted or just enjoying a few?

Has he given you any reason not to trust him since you both decided to save the relationship?

It sounds like you still don't trust him. I couldn't be with someone I didn't trust.

lovemybabies3 Sat 27-May-17 18:09:28

yes i always say to him you dnt need to drink so much and get rotten

PurpleDaisies Sat 27-May-17 18:10:52

When you say "get rotten", do you mean he treats you badly when he drinks?

pinkyredrose Sat 27-May-17 18:11:04

Does he think drinking is more important than his family? As that's what it sounds like.

lovemybabies3 Sat 27-May-17 18:11:35

sometimes he gets wasted but other times hes ok! i dont no if its my insecurities and i just cant let go of whats happened!
and if ill feel this insecure if we split up and i was with someone else

PurpleDaisies Sat 27-May-17 18:13:08

When he's wasted (or just drunk) has he actually done anything bad?

lovemybabies3 Sat 27-May-17 18:14:25

no nothing like that!

PurpleDaisies Sat 27-May-17 18:16:05

In that case, you probably either need to decide you're going to trust him or split up. I'm not sure it's fair to say to someone that they can't ever get drunk again when they've changed their behaviour.

When did the bad stuff all happen?

lovemybabies3 Sat 27-May-17 18:19:00

when we had our 1st, about 7 years ago! he has changed loads, i just cant help but feel like this!

Goodadvice1980 Sat 27-May-17 18:20:28

When you first got together he was vile when drunk and cheated?

Why the feck did you then have 3 kids with him then??

Worrying about his behaviour is no why to live your life.

PurpleDaisies Sat 27-May-17 18:21:16

Seven years is a long time to still be banning him from drinking.

lovemybabies3 Sat 27-May-17 18:29:28

he hasnt had a drinking ban! iv just never spoke about this before until now! cant speak to friends as i feel silly!
he never really goes out so when he does i get myself all worked up!

PurpleDaisies Sat 27-May-17 18:32:55

Sorry, I thought you'd asked him not to get drunk. I misunderstood.

Do you think your fears about him cheating are irrational or do you think he really will cheat?

lovemybabies3 Sat 27-May-17 18:34:26

i dont think he would cheat i think its all in my head! my own insecurities! i just dont no how to stop feeling like this

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