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To say if you are sick do something about it and stop moaning?

(37 Posts)
8DaysAWeek Sat 27-May-17 15:07:38

DH took last week off work as a holiday, just for some down time and nothing in particular. It has happened to coincide with him having a bad cold and a "blocked back" which has seen him coughing and spluttering dramatically, while walking about the house like a 90 year old crouched over and holding onto his back.

He's doing my head in. Not because it has rendered him unable to do any household chores including helping look after the baby and walk the dogs, but because he won't do anything about it. No visit to the GP, not even one lousy ibuprofen.

AIBU to say if you are unwell but not actively trying to help/alleviate it then you automatically forfeit the right to moan incessantly?

8DaysAWeek Sat 27-May-17 15:08:30

**Title should read do something about if OR stop moaning!

Earlybird Sat 27-May-17 15:11:58

Why won't he take an ibuprofen?

ImperialBlether Sat 27-May-17 15:13:59

What is a blocked back?

I agree with you, though - do something about it if you can or just shut up! There's nothing worse than someone moaning about pain and refusing to take a painkiller.

Birdsgottaf1y Sat 27-May-17 15:16:25

Bad colds need riding out, he'd be taking up a doctor appointment for no reason.

A bad back can just need rest, so again it's too early for a doctor's appointment.
I just i used to agree about taking painkillers, but some of my peer group (now 50's) are having kidney issues which has been because of the over use of medication.

He needs to stop moaning, though.

8DaysAWeek Sat 27-May-17 15:18:19

I don't really know imperial but that's what he keeps telling me despite his total lack of medical qualifications. Something to do with not being able to stand up straight after he bends over? Though the other day he told me the pain was now radiating to his right arm so he reckoned he had a cervical lesion.

I mean, how do I take him seriously with this chat!?

BrevilleTron Sat 27-May-17 15:19:56

Lol if he's a man he doesn't have a cervix!!

RedDogsBeg Sat 27-May-17 15:21:37

I agree with you OP, my sympathy flies straight out of the window once people refuse to help themselves, moan incessantly and/or do the dramatic sighing accompanied with the so sorry for myself face.

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sat 27-May-17 15:21:44

My DH is similarly incapable.
He doesn't get ill that often, thankfully, but when he does he takes to his bed sobbing and sighing about how he's so ill, no one has ever been this ill before (I know he's playing up to the man flu stereotype, he doesn't really think that) - but it doesn't cross his mind at any point to maybe take some of the medications we have in the house to deal with this sort of minor ailment.
I say "have you taken any tablets for the headache/stuffiness?"
"No" he says "Do we have any?"
FFS.
"Can you get me some please?" <feebly>
So I do because I'm not completely inhumane, but there is much eye-rolling and not much sympathy!

8DaysAWeek Sat 27-May-17 15:24:32

Birds I totally agree with you! And I told him the exact same thing at the start of the week regarding not bothering going to the GP cos they wouldn't be able to do anything about a cold.

But I guess my point is... if he's suffering as badly as he's making out then it must be bad enough to need medical attention, or else he is just being dramatic. The fact he hasn't insisted on a doctors appointment makes me think he knows that it's not that serious so therefore he should buck up.

Slimthistime Sat 27-May-17 15:24:37

Assume he means cervical vertebrae!

WellErrr Sat 27-May-17 15:26:49

A blocked back? Dafuq??

I couldn't be arsed with hypochondria and dramatics.

8DaysAWeek Sat 27-May-17 15:28:13

Haha yes cervical spinal lesion to clear up any confusion wink

Ok he may have used the work neck. I'm not long back from work so have my medical jargon hat on (animal doctor!)

katronfon Sat 27-May-17 15:44:32

Yep, you are 100% correct - if you are not prepared to do something about it, don't moan! Him not you, obviously. Why do people do this? I always feel like it is because they don't want to feel better as then they'd have nothing to moan about, and nothing to try and elicit sympathy for...but surely that can't really be the case, because surely feeling better would be better than moaning and/or sympathy?!

hula008 Sat 27-May-17 15:46:20

Lol if he's a man he doesn't have a cervix

No but he does have cervical vertebrae 😂

8DaysAWeek Sat 27-May-17 15:53:37

Exactly katronfon. I'm struggling to get my head around this sort of behaviour.

It reminds me of a school teacher I once had, who would never CLEAR HER DAMN THROAT when she had a cold and spoke croaky for the whole lesson. It's like she wanted everyone to know she had a cold. That also did my head in.

8DaysAWeek Sat 27-May-17 16:05:19

Dear Lord! He's now lying on the nursery floor as it's the only surface in the house that doesn't cause him back pain!

I'm getting out of this place. Can't deal.

Stripyhoglets Sat 27-May-17 16:09:51

I cant be doing eith people who wont take normal levels of normal painkillers For things like colds and sore backs - but still moan about feeling ill. Take the pills or shut up.
Some people have no choice but to take immense amounts of strong meficstionjust to stay alive. So take the damn paracetamol!

luckylucky24 Sat 27-May-17 16:28:36

My DH drive me mad when he is ill. Sighing and panting, "oh man". He does take painkiller though but it still winds me up.
I just go out or send him to bed!

He was sick and in bed last Wed-sun and I just got on with my day pretending he was in work still.

BlahBlahBlahEtc Sat 27-May-17 16:30:43

Sounds like a bit of a martyr if he won't even take painkillers

8DaysAWeek Sat 27-May-17 16:35:46

Exactly blah. I'm just struggling to work out who's benefiting from it?

melj1213 Sat 27-May-17 16:39:43

My response to any kind of whining/moaning/complaining is "Oh that's terrible ... so what are you going to do about it?"

"I have the worst manflu ever! Practically dying!"
"Oh that's terrible ... so what are you going to do about it?"
"<insert moaning and whining but no actual solution>"
"Well if you're not actually going to do anything, I'll leave you to feeling sorry for yourself."

Earlybird Sat 27-May-17 16:46:57

Has he had trouble with his back before, or is this a new thing?

Hopefully, after a week of feeling poorly, his cold is getting better?

FadedRed Sat 27-May-17 16:47:09

The number of patients who say they have pain but 'don't believe' in taking analgesics does my head in!
How about you get him some heat rub for his back, or the cold rub with menthol in it. Just don't remind him to thorough wash his hands after using it, before going to the loo. That'll teach him to moan. grin

Mummyoflittledragon Sat 27-May-17 16:58:14

Cerebral lesion perhaps?? grin. Not saying he has one btw.

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