My neighbour has complained to my managing agent!

[HappyGoLuckyGirl]

This is going to be long so apologies!

I moved in to my current house at the end of January.

Within a month or so I had my next door neighbour come banging on my door about 11.30pm at night telling me to move my car and being very unreasonable in his behaviour and attitude towards me. There was a thread on here about it.

They have consistently been aggressive towards me, especially the bloke as he has tried to intimidate me and threaten to have my car towed etc. I've only ever parked behind our houses twice since I've lived here, to avoid the drama! They also bang on the party wall if I ever have music on or a movie, or even if my 4 year old child cries.

I've put some artificial grass down in my back Garden, bought a patio set and a nice little chiminea to enjoy the lovely weather we've been having. Yesterday I got the paddling pool and sprinkler out for my DS and next door neighbours were out in their back garden making really loud passive aggressive comments about noise. This was about 5pm!

After DS went to his dad's for the night I had some friends round and we were all sat outside enjoying the weather, having food and drinks etc. There were 5 of us, including myself. I had music on from a Bluetooth speaker but it wasn't loud as it was on the table and we didn't have to strain to hear each other or shout or anything.

Anyway about 10.30pm she yelled from her bathroom window to shut the fuck up and slammed it shut. Then reopened it I obviously explained to my friends about their behaviour and I wasn't very nice in describing them and they most likely listened or heard.

Two friends left at 11pm and the three of us left went inside about 11.30pm roughly and went to bed.

Anyway my managing agents called me this morning to say they received an email complaint about noise last night. I explained I'd had difficulties with them since moving in and explained the bbq last night with four friends etc. I also told them of their constant banging on the wall and car parking fiasco. He sounded quite sympathetic and said there wasn't much they could do even if I was being disruptive. I also told them that my other neighbours are lovely and we get on well even though they are in their sixties! And they have never said I'm too noisy or anything. In fact they told me that everyone in the row of terraces get along well apart from that one couple as they don't like socialising and hate any sort of noisy activities.

I told the managing agent to tell next door neighbour to call the police if they are so concerned with my noise levels, as I know the police would most likely tell them to get a grip.

I've got another bbq this evening with 3 other friends and I'm anxious they are going to kick off with me or report me again! Even though I'm not actually being disruptive they just expect total silence!

How should I handle this? I'm a single mother in my mid twenties and they are easily mid forties and the bloke is very intimidating.

[Justmadeperfectflapjacks]

Counter complain about them harassing you. .
Then learn to ignore. .
Don't open the door to him knocking. If he persists at your door then phone the police. It is harassment. .
Enjoy your garden, your bbq and your friends. Music is acceptable til 11pm.
Don't let them bully you op.

[ArtemisiaGentilleschi]

Unfortunately music is not acceptable at any time if it disturbs other people.
I don't understand the parking issue but it seems you've been told that however you see the noise level, you're a noisy neighbour.
You basically had a party with music going on last night. And are planning the same tonight. Maybe your neighbours have to work?
What has age to do with anything?

[PaintingByNumbers]

why not move inside after about 9? parties every night with music sounds a pain in the arse

[HappyGoLuckyGirl]

I wouldn't class 5 women having a bbq and some wine a party.

And age has something to do with it because I'm a young woman and a middle aged bloke came banging on my door late at night and was very intimidating and aggressive. You may not be the type to get intimidated by older men but I am.

And I actually don't think I am a noisy neighbour. I've lived in 5 properties since I was 18, two of whicb were flats, and have never had a noise complaint before. And back then I really knew how to throw a proper party

Chatting and laughing in my own back garden with friends wouldn't be something I would consider disruptive. Neither is my child crying or playing outside. Isn't noise part and parcel of living in terraced properties? I don't complain when they watch films in bed at 11-12pm at night, they are allowed to do what they want in their own house.

[pipsqueak25]

if you are that much of a problem they ill get environmental health involved then if you are are reasonable as you say you are they will be told to get used to it because it isn't a problem.
but, if other people are saying they are problematic they might just be the whingy type and possibly a bit batty anyway.

[HappyGoLuckyGirl]

Painting last night is the first time I've entertained friends since I moved in.

[HildaOg]

Why do they need to ask you to move your car? Are you blocking them in?

As for the noise, it's always people with the worst taste in music who put their speakers in the garden and blast it out to other people. It may not be loud to you but it is when others have to hear it. Doing so at ten or eleven at night is extremely rude.

Have a bit of consideration and you won't have to worry about the reaction you provoke.

[pipsqueak25]

*they'll, but i would make a note of them complaining too as if he is banging on the door and imtidating you that would be caused as harassment too, i don't know the full story but there seem to be some rather judgy responses on mn this afternoon.

[Ladybirdbookworm]

Ignore them- even if the noise was loud it was the first time and they sound totally intolerant .
Have your friends over tonight - it's the bank holiday and they need to live and let live

[ilovesooty]

Whatever you said I don't see what age has to do with it either. You implied that your neighbours were unreasonable because you get on well with the other neighbours who are older than they are. I don't see why you can't move indoors later in the evening.

[winobaglady]

Pop a nice note through their letter box
Hi,just to let you know I have some friends round this evening. We will be sitting outside with background music on.
If it gets to bed time and you can't sleep, just let me know and we will turn the music down. Thanks!
Keep a copy of the note. Don't apologise, dont say you will go in the house and don't tell your guests but do make a point if saying some like oh keep the music low, Mr neighbours are light sleepers.

[MsStricty]

Bloody hell, the stick you're getting on here from some posters is nonsensical.

Actually, OP, it sounds like you simply have arses for neighbours. Aggressive arses. They do exist - and there have been innumerable threads on the same subject where the OPs were treated sympathetically.

Counter-complain if you want. But in truth I'd be investigating moving as soon as I was able to. Because if they are as shitty as they sound, it's only going to escalate, and no amount of appealing to their better natures is going to work.

[showergel1]

You are not doing yourself any favours having 2 parties in a row and yes a group of people and outdoor music is a party.

I'd ignore them about the rest. Children playing in the garden is a normal everyday activity. I'd say the same about one party in nice weather but two on consecutive nights is taking the mick.

Tonight i would switch off the music at 9pm or head inside.

[drinkingtea]

Some people are jaw droppinggly entitled, and I don't mean the OP!

"make sure you don't have any music" - really? You mean ever?

Our neighbors play the accordian in their garden whilst barbequing and chatting and having a sing along almost every Friday and Saturday in summer. We're a semi and share the same landlord. I have never felt a need to complain in the ten years we've both lived here. They are in their early 60s if it's relevant :o

[drinkingtea]

Some people are jaw droppinggly entitled, and I don't mean the OP!

"make sure you don't have any music" - really? You mean ever?

Our neighbors play the accordian in their garden whilst barbequing and chatting and having a sing along almost every Friday and Saturday in summer. We're a semi and share the same landlord. I have never felt a need to complain in the ten years we've both lived here. They are in their early 60s if it's relevant :o

[Allthewaves]

Don't have music on past 9.30pm outside and tbh 5 people outside chatting is loud esp when u r going to sleep. You should have gone in the house at 10.30 at the latest

[QuimJongUn]

I'd be pretty annoyed if there was a mini-party with music and chatting going on in next door's garden until 11.30pm to be honest. Particularly if it happened again the following evening. It'd be even worse if I was working shifts or had to get up early for work.

Pass-agg comments about child noise at 5pm is clearly unreasonable, though.

I'd perhaps show a little more consideration in the evenings - speakers in a terraced garden past 10.30/11pm is a bit selfish - but I'd ignore any complaints about normal family noise.

And perhaps don't gossip about the neighbours with other neighbours - it rarely does much to foster good relations.

[CoraPirbright]

In fact they told me that everyone in the row of terraces get along well apart from that one couple as they don't like socialising and hate any sort of noisy activities

And here's your problem. If your nice neighbours (and everyone else) say this then I think even reasonable noise might be too much for your aggressive neighbours. Keep a note of everything that happens in case you need to rattle your sabre and threaten that you will report them for harrassment. Also tell them to report you to environmental health - they will hopefully come out, record your noise levels and tell the neighbours that they are being U.

[HappyGoLuckyGirl]

Okay, so the main issue is the music?

I could understand if it was really loud or something but it was quiet enough to be on the table we were sat around without us having to raise our voices to talk to each other. Similar to background television noise I would say.

But appreciate the responses and will turn the music off after 10-11pm.

I don't think I should have to move inside at 9pm, as another poster suggested? It's lovely weather and was still 20 degrees at 9-10pm last night.

I guess I just don't understand the concept that one neighbours needs trump another? Unless it's a very clearly a disturbance, I'm which case I'd call 101 anyway.

I mentioned my other neighbours as they are older and so more likely to complain about noise. But perhaps that's not a very good judgement.

[user1491401693]

I used to live in a terraced house and would never have dreamt of having music in the garden.

But then I'm a boring old fart in my 50s

[scottishdiem]

I would be sympathetic about the parking and that harrassment but:

I wouldn't class 5 women having a bbq and some wine a party

Fuck me I would. The noise that groups of drunk women can make is horrendous. I hate it when I get on a long train ride, in the quiet carriage, and a group of women get on and pull out the wine. I know then that gracious quiteness is not on the agenda.

And then you have added music. At 10.30. You do know people like to sleep occasionally?

Dont make yourself the bad person here and try to dial it back. I am all for passive aggressive retaliation but you are renting.

[SummerMummy88]

Two outdoor parties in a row, I would be annoyed too. Kids playing at 5pm I dnt know why they are moaning about that but if your having outdoor music on till 11/11.30 two days in a row you are being very inconsiderate I wouldn't want to live next door to somebody like test either.

[Pemba]

Them complaining about children crying or playing outside at 5pm is completely unreasonable of them obviously.
But playing your music outside IS annoying, especially as late as 10.30. You are basically forcing your neighbours to listen to your taste in music. What if they were watching something or trying to sleep? I'm sure you wouldn't like it. You have to have a bit of consideration unless you live a long way from anyone. Can you not enjoy yourself without the music. Headphones?

Seems both you and your neighbours ABU
Maybe you need someone to mediate.

[SnickersWasAHorse]

Music is acceptable til 11pm.

Well it depends really. Loud music with a thumping bass isn't really on at any time.

I think that the neighbour could have handled this better to be honest. When the weather is hot there is a fair chance that she wanted to have the window open at night. However she couldn't because of your music and chat. She should have either knocked as asked or stuck her head out of the window and asked politely.