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Sex once a month, if you instigate. Happy?

(10 Posts)
NurseScorne Sat 27-May-17 00:23:54

Would you be happy with this? Sex once a month or so but only if you instigate/make an issue of it? Duty shag if you will?

How about if you knew when you were in bed alone, your DH was downstairs looking up terms such as "milf" and "naked Snapchat"?

How about if you knew your DH had no trouble getting/maintaining an erection, he just couldn't be arsed to use it on you?

And yes, I've spoken to him. He denies there is any problem.

steff13 Sat 27-May-17 00:26:01

No, I wouldn't put up with that. Sex is important to me.

spankhurst Sat 27-May-17 00:36:28

Not really, no.

metspengler Sat 27-May-17 01:13:23

A chance would be a fine thing.

Not really though, no.

KC225 Sat 27-May-17 03:36:24

I would feel hurt and it would be a massive blow to my self esteem and our intimacy.

Have you confronted him about what you know?

DirtyChaiLatte Sat 27-May-17 04:50:30

I think you know the answer yourself to that question.

I'd be hurt because having no libido is one thing, but still being interested in sex in some form, but just not with me would definitely be an issue.

If a couple is OK with a sexless marriage then that's completely their joint decision, but if that's not what you want then you have to decide what sort of marriage you want to be in.

You can't force/persuade him to have/want to have sex with you, but you also have the right to want a marriage with intimacy. If he can't provide that then you need to sit down and decide how important it is to you.

He probably can't help it if he feels no sexual attraction towards you and it's not really his fault, but you also have a right to not be happy with a marriage like that.

jouu Sat 27-May-17 04:53:58

Why are you posting almost identical threads?

Op if you aren't happy (and I wouldn't be), why have you not left yet, as others asked on your other thread?

This kind of thing doesn't get better...

HildaOg Sat 27-May-17 08:51:10

I'd take it that he doesn't fancy me and focus on myself. If I wanted to keep him, I'd get to the gym, the hairdressers, the shops and do what I needed to make myself more attractive. If he didn't want me after that then I'd find someone who did.

TheNaze73 Sat 27-May-17 08:55:17

As I said on the other post, he's obviously not into you. You have every right to feel insulted by his lack of action.
I think he is a twat for not talking to you about his sexual wants. He sounds unhappy

MissBax Sat 27-May-17 09:05:29

Haven't you already posted this?

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