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AIBU?

Bloody, bloody neighbours...

38 replies

Pollyanna9 · 26/05/2017 19:54

And so starts the spring/summer season... fab.

This past two weeks alone, as a snapshot:

  • woken every weekend morning by 8.30 am as their kids thunder up and down the stairs for about 20 minutes
  • every, single, evening, shouting (from the parents) screaming (from the kids) answering back (from the kids), doors slamming
  • parents heard shouting at their children (by my children) just last week "you effing dickhead!"
  • just now kids kicking a ball against a metal shed in their garden for around 40 minutes (I'd never allow my children to do that)
  • then someone literally standing at the shed (I think) super rapidly bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang-bang on said shed
  • one of the DC once again (as per previous years) standing on their climbing frame or whatever gawping at me as I try (and fail) to sit in the privacy of my own living room (must remember to keep the curtains drawn and the doors closed throughout the summer, and never dare to spend time in the garden)


I finally cracked and had to bellow out of me french doors (at the banging on the metal shed) "Will you please shut up!!!". To which one of the adults retorts "Oh be quiet". Be quiet?! That's what you need to do.

I am SO sick of this. It's been like this since I moved in in 2011..... they are such disrespectful w*nkers I struggle to believe it.

Rrrrrr.
OP posts:
HildaOg · 26/05/2017 19:57

Can you move? That would drive me insane.

loveka · 26/05/2017 20:03

That sounds awful.

We are moving because of neighbours. Driven away because of their selfishness.

There really are some selfish people in the world, who really really don't think about other people ever.

BritInUS1 · 26/05/2017 20:05

I think I would look at moving, sounds like a nightmare

PossomInAPearTree · 26/05/2017 20:07

My neighbours wind me up with a rattly gate and a noisy motorbike but your situation sounds 1000x worse. Can you move?

PossomInAPearTree · 26/05/2017 20:08

Yo guess the kids will grow up soon and be morose teens...though you may get music then.

Jupitar · 26/05/2017 20:09

Why must you keep curtains and doors shut? It's actually quite hard to see in through a window in daylight, and even so surely any child would quickly get bored of looking at you, reading or watching tv.

Neighbours are annoying but if you can't move you're better off just living your life and ignoring them, my neighbours are retired and always outside chattering away you get used to the noise after a while.

Pollyanna9 · 26/05/2017 20:11

Believe me I've tried. Fell totally in love with a really cute terrace house that is only 5 mins walk from my DCs school - have tried to buy it twice, it's fallen through twice (guess it's not meant to be).

For the last four years (skipping last year) its been alternate Xmas's/New Year's either with me or with their dad - the years where I've (literally) been on my own, I have nearly gone totally utterly mad - it's actually very stressful and upsetting. You hear a load of shouting, the kids screaming, thundering up stairs, doors slamming, screaming and shouting - and this is on Xmas Day and Boxing Day!!! There is NO respite!

I've actually contacted NSPCC (a few years ago) and said look I don't for one minute believe they don't love their kids, or look after them (they clearly do) but they obviously have absolutely NO concept of discipline or teaching respect for others.

The dad is well over 6ft - how do they think they're going to deal with their DS when he gets the same size which he's quite likely to do... if they can't control him now? I've had DD in the garden having a full size plastic keyboard come sailing over the fence and narrowly miss her head.

Apparently, I'm known to the kids next door as 'The Naughty Lady'!

OP posts:
Pollyanna9 · 26/05/2017 20:16

Possum we have the music. Usually (after having been woken by 8.30am latest every morning) on a Sat and Sun the pounding House music starts at 9am for at least an hour...

Jupitar - why? Because they stand on their whatever and gawp at me directly through my windows. I'd love to know how they'd like it if I got my step ladders and stood gawping into their room when them or their kids might be in loungewear, nightwear or underwear enjoying relaxing in their own home... Believe me they can see fully through the french windows, not least since they're actually standing only about 5-6 ft away at the time of the gawping. They've been doing this for the last 2-3 years so clearly have not got bored of it - and of course, clearly aren't told 'don't do that it's inconceivably rude and intrusive' because the parents don't give a shit so the kids don't either. Tell me how you'd ignore someone openly gawping in your window obviously and overtly watching you go about your life in your own home?!

I'm half tempted to organise some kind of outrageous half naked party - I mean for Christ's sake, someone could be having it off with their husband on the sofa - what, with next door's kids watching?!

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 26/05/2017 20:22

To be fair if you're relaxing in your underwear you can see why they wouldn't get bored of gawping...

Pollyanna9 · 26/05/2017 20:29

Who says it's something nice to look at Bluntness!!!! You know what I mean though - maybe I should just wander through my living room stark bollock naked and eff it if their kids see me - don't they think of what their kids could see and want to protect them from inadvertently seeing a couple shagging (for example?). It's not even that, it's the total lack of policing them appropriately - If I had EVER seen my kids standing on a climbing frame for example and gawping into a neighbour's garden I've had read them the riot act and told them it was very rude to do, an invasion of privacy and disrespectful to other people's right to enjoy their own home without being observed all the time - it would have happened twice at the most and that would have been it. It's not the kids fault, it's the feckin' 'parents'.

OP posts:
NonnoMum · 26/05/2017 20:35

waking at 8.30 every weekend morning is nothing to complain about!!! Isn't that absolutely completely normal???????

(The swearing is an issue though)

OCSockOrphanage · 26/05/2017 20:36

WOken at 8.30am is hardly unreasonable PollyAnna! We wake at 6.10, so DS is at school by 08.15|, but I don't think we are very noisy, or at least not so noisy as to wake anyone.

Geoid · 26/05/2017 20:36

What height is the climbing frame? If it's over 6ft and positioned to remove your privacy there's probably a planning regulation about it somewhere.

Cheby · 26/05/2017 20:39

YABU about the 8.30 thing, that's a lie in! YANBU about the rest of it. They sound awful.

BluePeppers · 26/05/2017 20:41

So you would also be happy to have children running around and screaming in their garden at 8.30am? Because it's way past the time most people get up?

I

Louiselouie0890 · 26/05/2017 20:42

You rang nspcc because they don't discipline there kids? Hmm

Pollyanna9 · 26/05/2017 20:44

I agree that waking at 8.30 am in itself is not an issue at all - the kids (in line with all other allowed and deemed perfectly ok behaviours) are clearly not ever told - hey, keep the noise down it's the weekend and people might be wanting a lay in. Believe me, I don't - and couldn't - lie in til 11am but that's not the point. I've not woken up of my own accord for 6 years on a weekend! My DC are 17 and 15 - if they are what I deem too loud either in the later evening or in a morning they are told about it straight away because I won't have them displaying that level of inconsiderate and thoughtless behaviour to others.

I don't know the height of it Geoid - but this evening I could see the DDs shoulders and above so she was a good foot above the height of our standard height between-house wooden fence panels.

OP posts:
Janey50 · 26/05/2017 20:46

That's odd. My neighbours from hell moved out in 2011 and all the things that you've described sound like EXACTLY the sort of shit we had to put up with for 11 years. You don't live on the south coast of England do you?! As I have it on hood authority that that is where they fucked off moved to.

LizB62A · 26/05/2017 20:46

Stitch BIG red letter on your curtains so that when you close them, all they can see is a big red FUCK OFF
I hate inconsiderate neighbours....

Our neighbours go out EVERY SINGLE NIGHT in their car at about 10:30pm. I think the mother drops her 30-something son off somewhere then she comes about. About half past midnight she goes out again and brings him back. They slam their car doors and the front door
Then they start talking/shouting at each other.
EVERY SINGLE NIGHT..........

Janey50 · 26/05/2017 20:47

Good authority! Not hood!

Pollyanna9 · 26/05/2017 20:48

I rang NSPCC because it was distressing listening to them shouting at their kids, then hearing thundering up the stairs, doors slamming and children screaming. I was literally at my wits end - unless you've lived next to this I'm not sure you can understand that it's really upsetting as wel as very very very stressful to have to hear that kind of stuff literally all the time - there is no day of the yr (birthdays, xmas day) or day of the week that there isn't shouting, screaming and slamming doors, swearing, yelling - it's not just for 5 mins at a time - some of these sessions go on for a full 20 mins or so with the parents sounding v v angry and out of control and the kids screaming - at the top of their lungs and sounding v v upset - and then it all goes quiet. Who knows if they're being quietened with a smack, I don't know but it's like an ongoing torture. Literally EVERY SINGLE DAY at teatime and bedtime as well as mornings they are at each other's throats.

OP posts:
Pollyanna9 · 26/05/2017 20:54

No Janey, I'm in the Midlands! Course, they could have moved north west since then!

Liz I totally agree - I suppose I struggle with it because I've actively taught my kids and shown disbelief if they have ever been inconsiderate like that - personally I just won't have it.

Blue they don't need to run round screaming in the garden at 8.30 cos they're already running round screaming in their house at that time. Every day, weekday and weekend day, 365 days a year, for the last 6 years....

I like this idea Liz! Very tempted... I also live in a location which is on a slightly higher elevation than the surrounding streets to our right hand side. This elevated position is reached by steps which lead down to the local (fairly smallish) town centre. It's a fabulous cut-through for everyone pissed out of their minds stumbling home at 1am from the local pubs. The arrangement of houses and blocks of flats acts like an amphitheatre and even the smallest sounds are amplified and when it's 3am and a bunch of pissheads are getting out of their taxi and into the flats opposite (which always requires lots of shouting and takes about 20 minutes) that also wakes me up. Believe me, I wish I was a heavier sleeper but sadly I'm not.

OP posts:

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Pollyanna9 · 26/05/2017 20:55

I totally feel your pain btw Liz. Totally.

Every night....

Course, if you said anything you'd be the bad person (The Naughty Lady, like me!!).

OP posts:
gottachangethename1 · 26/05/2017 20:55

I feel for you op. I've had 2 homes with bad neighbours (current one has fortunately aged rapidly in the last year, so the all night parties are not so frequent anymore. People can be so bloody ignorant and selfish when it comes to respecting the right for others to live peacefully. I was one of four in a house with paper thin walls, but we would never have dared to disturb our neighbours (mum would have killed us!) it's basic decency.

5moreminutes · 26/05/2017 20:58

The children are just standing on their climbing frame in their garden - there is no way they are gawping at you - they won't be able to see in through the window, they are more likely to be gawping at their own reflections in the glass!

I must say you lost me at complaining at being woken by noise of people on the stairs next door at 08:30am - not 5am or 6am but 8:30.. and tehn saying you don't even want a lie in but its "the principle".

A lot of what you complain about it down modern semis and terraces being so poorly built that you can hear everything through the walls, and things like running upstairs sound louder next door or from downstairs than to the person running up the stairs. A lot of what you complain about is normal.

The swearing isn't great, nor the banging on the shed and garage but if was a child kicking a football or hitting a tennis ball with a racquet, or playing throw and catch the ball (we used to call it sevenses...) there is an aspect of if you can't hit the tennis ball against your own wall where can you? Many people would say good for them not shoving the kids in front of a console or cartoons to shut them up...

Have you actually ever talked to them nicely and calmly about the noise carrying through the walls and asked very politely if there is any way they could keep the kids quiet til 9 at weekends? Or do you just randomly yell commands to be quiet over the fence (hence naughty lady...)

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