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Cant stop emotionally cheating

(15 Posts)
Needakicking Fri 26-May-17 17:54:34

I really need a kicking, I can't stop emotionally cheating. I haven't been faithful to anybody I've been with and to be honest I don't know how to be. I'm also 3 months post partum but not using that as an excuse but I'm so just confused and I don't know how to stop. I get a thrill. I need help don't I?

HooplaLoopla1 Fri 26-May-17 17:58:41

Who are you 'emotionally cheating' with?

Needakicking Fri 26-May-17 18:04:25

A guy I've known for a few years and a guy who lives in my home town.
I have a boyfriend of a year. We have a kid together and I have a 3 year old.
The guy who I had my first child with, I cheated on 3 times. With this guy it's only emotionally, like I've been messaging the two guys and we talk of meeting up, having a baby etc. Basically the pipe line dream. I fear my boyfriend may have gone through my phone and seen these conversations though and I know I need it to end

AfroBrown Fri 26-May-17 18:07:02

Watching this thread with interest grin

SparklyMagpie Fri 26-May-17 18:07:19

You're clearly not happy, so i think you need to do your OH a favour and end it, and seek counselling to establish why you do this

Figaro2017 Fri 26-May-17 18:08:13

If your boyfriend has gone through your phone, ending the cheating may not be an option. You can only cheat if you have a relationship.

Needakicking Fri 26-May-17 18:08:16

I don't want this to turn into a bun fight or get it shut down I really am looking for sensible advice

BreakfastAtSquiffanys Fri 26-May-17 18:08:59

You're talking about having a baby with these Other men?
Grow up and look after the children you've already got.

ProudBadMum Fri 26-May-17 18:09:06

You are talking about having a baby with someone while only having someone else's 3 months ago?!

The memory of labour can't have left you already ffs. grin

Seriously though hmm

Needakicking Fri 26-May-17 18:10:27

Of course I look after the children I've already got, but in talking to other people I get something that I don't get from my partner

HooplaLoopla1 Fri 26-May-17 18:11:29

So split up with him then.

Wolfiefan Fri 26-May-17 18:13:01

You can talk to people without cheating with them you know?! confused
If you can't get what you need from your partner then end it and be on your own until you find someone who gives you what you need.

WonkoTheSane42 Fri 26-May-17 18:15:28

Let your boyfriend go so he can find someone who actually loves him, and then be single until you've grown up a lot.

NellieFiveBellies Fri 26-May-17 18:16:22

you need to change your language.
it is not that you cant. i mean, nobody has a gun to your head do they? you arent doing it in your sleep or under hypnosis are you?
saying "i cant stop" is a way of deflecting responsibility. it is telling yourself that you are helpless and not at fault

well, you can stop. you choose not to.
you make a series of decisions each and every time you do this and you are in control of every single one of them.

so stop telling yourself that you cant stop and start admitting that you are choosing to do this.

then you can work on why you are choosing to do this.

SparklyMagpie Fri 26-May-17 18:19:04

And FWIW i hope you're boyfriend has found the messages

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