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AIBU to expect 18 yo to get a job?

(20 Posts)
SureMalone Fri 26-May-17 15:41:00

18 yo DD is at college 3 days a week. She is doing some 1 year get into uni thing. She doesn't work. She volunteers at the zoo once a week. She has some money from birthdays in her bank which is what she uses to put petrol in her car but I'm sure it'll run out soon!

AIBU to expect her to get a job?

Mammylamb Fri 26-May-17 16:50:52

Yanbu! I had various jobs since starting high school

MagentaRocks Fri 26-May-17 16:53:57

Good luck with that. I have a 20 yr old sd who won't make an effort to get a job. Also at college 3 days a week. have spent the last 4 years trying to instil some kind of work ethic into her but she just can't be bothered. I had hoped she would grow up a bit and get a social life so would need a job but she just sits in her room.

BarbarianMum Fri 26-May-17 16:55:43

Well it's kind of up to her. But you don't have to bankroll her.

smearedinfood Fri 26-May-17 17:00:05

If she likes animals - dog walker?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy Fri 26-May-17 17:00:47

Just let the money run out. And don't pay for her petrol. Then she'll have to!

Nice that she volunteers though.

Middleagedmumoftwo Fri 26-May-17 17:01:10

Absolutely not BU. My youngest is 19 and has had several jobs (hard work, lengthy hours type of jobs) while he's been on a gap year, and the eldest had a part time job from 16 all through A levels and uni. It does them the power of good and instils a good work ethic, it's not just about earning money.

Fliptophead Fri 26-May-17 17:03:36

Yanbu.

MrsJayy Fri 26-May-17 17:04:23

Yanbu 1 of mine struggled to get a job when she was at college however as your dd volunteers at the zoo is there not any summer jobs going ? Btw who bought the car i wouldnt have if there was no job to pay for its upkeep.

Allthebestnamesareused Fri 26-May-17 17:07:33

Did you not post before that she is hoping to do zoology so isn't the volunteering the perfect thing to do if this is the case?

How does she fund going out with friends? If it is you funding her maybe suggest she picks up a Saturday type job (but she's lucky that she's at college only 3 days) as it means she could do one other day.

I would also sit down with her and talk about what it will cost and how finances will be arranged once she does get to uni now so it is not a shock to her later.

BarbarianMum Fri 26-May-17 17:10:40

Actually zoo keeping isn't a particularly useful foundation for a zoology degree (It's mostly shovelling shit tbh). Having said which, I spent an enjoyable year as a zoo keeper then went on to study zoology. I was paid for the shovelling zoo keeping though.

BackforGood Fri 26-May-17 17:59:12

YANBU.
If she wants to be able to run a car, or to have any sort of social life, then she needs to work out how she is going to fund it, yes, even aside from the beginning to get things on her CV pov.

Secretsweets Fri 26-May-17 18:02:32

Both my teenagers have been working since they were 15. DD is 18 now in full time 6th form 5 days a week studying for A levels and has 3 jobs. My DS is 16 and works Saturday and Sunday. We have always taught them that if you want nice things you have to work for them. By not insisting she earns her own money you are setting her up for a shock later in life.

Buildmeupbuttercup89 Fri 26-May-17 19:27:17

Yanbu I went for a job interview on my 16th birthday, saw me through the last year of school, college and into the job I have now! A job was a necessity for me though, my parents never bankrolled me!

WatchingFromTheWings Fri 26-May-17 19:30:57

YANBU. Myself and most of my friends had part time jobs through our 'A' levels. My 16yo DS has had a Saturday job since he was 15.

Groovee Fri 26-May-17 19:39:15

My 17 year old turned 16 and had 2 part time jobs since the day she turned 16. She's often knackered but I admire the work ethic and hope Ds will be the same next year.

DrCoconut Fri 26-May-17 20:18:59

I wasn't allowed to work during college years. I really wanted a job as money was tight at home but my folks insisted I concentrate on my studies, extra curricular clubs and family, there would be plenty of time to worry about work later on. I haven't grown up to be a freeloader or ne'er do well. So I guess it depends on why you want your teen to get a job. If the money is needed or it will open opportunities then fine. As a matter of "Protestant work ethic" principle no, there is time for that later.

mygorgeousmilo Fri 26-May-17 20:53:41

I had no choice but to work, because I had no financial help whatsoever, and I ended up dropping out of college. I don't regret it now, and am happy with the path I've taken in life, but I'm determined that my kids will study for as long as they want to and can. Initially I was going to say she should work, but as she's volounteering and studying, perhaps just one day a week somewhere. I do think if things are particularly tight at home then she should be made aware of that and asked to contribute.

Leeds2 Fri 26-May-17 20:59:02

Do you give her any pocket money/an allowance?

To be honest, if my DD was volunteering for a day a week, I would probably overlook the not earning as long as I could afford it. My own DD didn't work at all during her A Levels, but since going to uni has got a paid job in the canteen and during this summer holiday is doing one month's paid work, and four weeks voluntary work. I am happy with that.

missymayhemsmum Fri 26-May-17 21:14:56

If she has the chance of a few hours a week and it won't take time she needs for studying and you need the money, yanbu, it'll be good work experience.
If she is currently in the last stages of an intensive Access Course and every minute revising counts to her chance of uni, and you can afford to support her until the exams are finished, then do it (but suggest she gets a summer job)

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