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To think I can, and indeed should, go to this event this weekend

(14 Posts)
Everyoneafter3 Thu 25-May-17 20:28:27

I'm taking part in a sporting event this weekend along with tens of thousands of others. My MIL is harassing us hourly - literally - that it's too dangerous etc.

MIL is so risk averse that she's frankly paranoid. When our dc were younger she'd actively stop them from going on playground equipment rather than supervise and encourage. When we lived in what she considered to be a less desirable area she didn't visit for years because of the "high crime rate".

I'm still going to this event and we may even take our dc. We've travelled across the Atlantic and to the Middle East post-9/11; I've travelled to and around London on numerous occasions since 7/7.

But her constant harping on is starting to have an effect on me.

AIBU to think this shouldn't be so?

reawakeningambition Thu 25-May-17 20:33:37


Is this something she does that makes her feel more in control?

Mrsglitterfairy Thu 25-May-17 20:36:13

Yanbu but I can see where your mil is coming from. My DH is in a big run in Manchester on Sunday and I'm fucking terrified. He's still doing it though as says that the police and/or army presence will be massive but still.... I won't rest until he's home

Everyoneafter3 Thu 25-May-17 20:37:08

Who knows.

She genuinely fears the worst and The Big City scares her. Dh went on a night not so long ago (actually just dinner) and she was ready to come and pick her 38-year-old son up as public transport was too scary for him...

specialsubject Thu 25-May-17 20:37:55

Probably less danger than last week . block mil calls until after the weekend.

Everyoneafter3 Thu 25-May-17 20:38:02

Mrsglitter that's the event I'm referring to...

HundredMilesAnHour Thu 25-May-17 20:39:15

I'm guessing you mean the Great Manchester Run?

YANBU but it sounds like your MIL is so over-anxious about everything that I can't even begin to imagine how bad she's become after the events of the last few days.

I think all you can do is say politely that you appreciate her concern but you will go going ahead, along with the other tens of thousands of runners and their families. And try not to throttle her. wink

Sn0tnose Thu 25-May-17 20:41:08

We're going to a large event in London this weekend. We'll certainly be more vigilant than normal, but definitely not staying at home.

Mrsglitterfairy Thu 25-May-17 20:41:30

I thought it could have been the same one. It's bloody scary but most people doing the run have raised a huge amount for charity, e.g. My DH is doing it for the Christie so why should people not do it?
I'm a very anxious person though and hasn't relaxed at all since Monday night. He has promised to call me at the start of the run, at the end and on his way home to try and reassure me.
Good luck in the run to you too

Everyoneafter3 Thu 25-May-17 20:43:09

Ironically I suffer from anxiety and it's really not good atm. I take medication. Oddly despite that I'm fairly sanguine about the thought of going to Manchester this weekend.

I worked in Manchester for many years. I certainly wouldn't have contemplated not going to work on Tuesday had that still bee the case.

SallyCanWait Thu 25-May-17 20:43:30

I don't know
I'm going to a large stadium event on Sunday. 60,000 people. I'm pretty nervous, we got the tickets months ago for 15 yo birthday. We're in Scotland but in the back of my head I keep thinking it's only a matter of time before we're targeted iyswim.

I know the chances are slim etc but you just never know.

Mrsglitterfairy Thu 25-May-17 20:44:55

That's true. It's not helped me though that we live right near where the suspect lived and one this morning, we actually heard the explosion early hours. I'm going into town tomorrow night for a meal with work and was considering cancelling but I'm still going to go

Atenco Thu 25-May-17 20:50:55

Please don't let fear of this stuff ruin your lives.

Even at the height of the civil war in Northern Ireland, more people died in road accidents.

CoffeeWithMyOxygen Thu 25-May-17 20:58:00

I sympathise, OP. My MIL also has anxiety to the extent that it's almost paranoia, but I really struggle to be patient with her sometimes. It would be different if she acknowledged the problem and got some help for her anxiety disorder, but instead she expects everyone to indulge her when she starts worrying about things excessively. She keeps herself awake worrying about the weirdest things - we had to move house a while ago as our lease was up and she apparently couldn't sleep as she was 'sick with worry' about it. I just couldn't live my life like that, she afraid of everything. DH shares a lot of her anxiety issues but has worked really hard over the years to rationalise them - as a result he is much more measured and has already had a much more interesting life.

That turned into a bit of a ramble, sorry! I guess I'm saying that you should go ahead with your race and just ignore your MIL. Maybe try telling her firmly one last time that it's your decision and not up for discussion.

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