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To ask for your experiences with DC having "autistic traits"?

(18 Posts)
laurzj82 Thu 25-May-17 18:22:13

Posted here for traffic and because I am interested in replies from parents whose children have not been diagnosed too.

DD is 3.2 and we have known for some time that she has some sensory issues and is a handful. As she has gotten older it is becoming apparent that she is struggling socially at nursery too (only child). Health visitor has been to observe her at nursery and is doing a referral to community paed as she displays some autistic traits. Lack of eye contact around people she doesn't know well, trouble with transitions, little obsessions, little pretend play (although it looks like she is as will act out scenes from her favourite TV show), lots and lots of sensory issues as well as a few more.

I am no expert about ASD but I thought that one of the criteria was not understanding other peoples emotions but I think DD does understand quite well, for example after my DM died last year she asked me why I was sad and she can tell me if a character in a story is happy or sad.

Has anyone had DC referred over concerns and not had a diagnosis? Did it turn out to be something else? Or is it possible it is ASD and be able to understand emotions? Sorry if I have phrased this badly.

Thank you.

startwig1982 Thu 25-May-17 18:27:52

My ds(5) sounds much like your dd. He's about to turn 6 and we're still chasing a referral for an asd assessment. Go to your gp with your concerns and they will be able to help refer you. Outside agencies like speech and language will help too.

startwig1982 Thu 25-May-17 18:28:22

With the emotions, obviously there's a spectrum so each case is different.

TeenAndTween Thu 25-May-17 18:35:01

Other things can also overlap with ASD, dyspraxia being one of them.
Dyspraxia isn't just motor skills, there can be sensory and processing issues too.

mamapants Thu 25-May-17 18:44:58

You should read about the triad of impairment, they are looking for impairment in the three areas but you would need to fulfil all the things mentioned. I'm not an expert but I don't think understanding emotions precludes someone from having Asd.

laurzj82 Thu 25-May-17 18:55:17

Thank you. Mama I have just been googling and found some info on the triad funnily enough. That's how I interpret it too :-(

Teen I don't know anything about dyspraxia - I will take a look...

Startwig I hope you get some answers soon

mamapants Thu 25-May-17 18:58:59

Sorry in my message I meant to say you wouldn't need to fulfil all.
We are currently awaiting assessment for my daughter so I know how hard it is.
Looking at lists and recognising some things but not others and not knowing what that means is a horrible feeling.
I vary between being convinced she does have Asd to convinced she doesn't.

JumpingJellybeanz Thu 25-May-17 19:03:09

The emotions thing is wrong. We often do recognise emotions and have tons of empathy. Some have problems recognising certain emotions, so may be ok with basic emotions like sad, happy, angry but not recognise more complex ones like frustrated, embarrassed etc. Some people have no problem recognising any of them but have no idea how to respond to them. It's a huge spectrum.

Seenoevil Thu 25-May-17 19:03:55

It's a spectrum so it's definitely possible it could be asd and she can read facial exspressions and body language, girls are better at hiding it as well.

My son who is 4 next months has asd yet he has no behavioural problems or meltdowns, he's so easy going.

Oblomov17 Thu 25-May-17 19:06:19

That's totally not true, about emotions and empathy.

There is a persistent stereotype that people with autism are individuals who lack empathy and cannot understand emotion. It’s true that many people with autism don’t show emotion in ways that people without the condition would recognize*1*.
But the notion that people with autism generally lack empathy and cannot recognize feelings is wrong. Holding such a view can distort our perception of these individuals and possibly delay effective treatments.
We became skeptical of this notion several years ago. In the course of our studies of social and emotional skills, some of our research volunteers with autism and their families mentioned to us that people with autism do display empathy.

HattiesBackpack Thu 25-May-17 19:06:58

Hello OP, my DS(7) has ASD and he understands emotions, and is a very sensitive, loving boy. Traits were picked up at nursery and he has been in the system since then, finally got a diagnosis when he was 6. (ASD and ADHD).
YY to looking at the triad of impairments, this can help you get a feel for how ASD can present itself and why.
Push for an assessment, they may see her now, and then ask to see her again when she starts school, but the earlier she gets in the system the better, my DS has a lot of support at school and it makes such a difference.

Oblomov17 Thu 25-May-17 19:07:22

That was to mama pants and OP.

laurzj82 Thu 25-May-17 19:09:53

Mama I know exactly what you mean. It is a relief that the health visitor saw something was "different" because I was starting to think I was imagining things, especially since my family all think she is perfectly fine. I just want her to be happy and not anxious all the time :-(

Thank you Jumping that is really helpful to know. I have a LOT of reading to do because I want to be as clued up as I can be.

Pinkypie12 Thu 25-May-17 19:12:50

My mum is autistic. I really don't feel like she often has empathy for people. Dd does when it suits her, more so than my mum.

deadringer Thu 25-May-17 19:18:25

My foster dd has a family history of autism, brother, father, uncle, cousin and possibly her sister, (sister is being reviewed at the moment). We were watching out for symptoms from an early age, she was a late walker with low muscle tone, hyper mobility, very tantrumy, very quick to anger especially if she hurt herself, doesn't want to be comforted if she hurts herself and will lash out if you try to cuddle her, she is affectionate but only on her terms. She lacks empathy, she understands about emotions, ie if someone dies she knows you are sad but she doesn't really 'feel' for other people. She has an amazing memory and has strange fixations, for a long time she talked endlessly about (clothes) labels, has a meltdown if she sees snails or worms on the ground as she is terrified of squishing them. There was an episode of Ben and holly where a cow sat down on the wise old elf and she wouldn't watch it again after that, she hated cows after that too. She is quite literal in her thinking too. It can be difficult to have a conversation with her as she will have something she wants to talk about and will keep going back to that. She is very distractable and takes ages to do simple things like get dressed etc. Potty training was a nightmare and she is still in pull ups at night at age 8. However she is not rigid around routine and has no issues around noisy or busy situations. She has been diagnosed with dyspraxia and it seems to fit. She is a fabulous little girl and as she gets older her behavior is improving steadily. She is doing well in school and seems to have lots of friends.

BarbarianMum Thu 25-May-17 19:23:49

Ds2 has plenty of traits. We wondered for a long time whether he was on the spectrum (his uncle is) but have finally concluded that he's "sitting on the edge with his feet in the water" so to speak.

The best way to know for sure is to go for assessment. But if you want to wait and watch then I think you'll find her difference from her peers either increases or decreases as she gets older. If it starts increasing I suggest you do start the assessment process, rather than wait for a crisis to hit.

Designerenvy Thu 25-May-17 19:29:55

My ds (12) has asd, diagnosed at 9. He was a very quiet baby/ toddler/ preschooler. He's still quiet. He shuts down as opposed to melts down. He never did imaginery play. He withdraws into himself when overwhelmed/ anxious. Worries about everything. Very cautious as a younger child....this is improving. Finds it hard to recognise his own/ others emotions but would understand basics lie hsppy/ sad. Other emorion confuse him and are a cause of anxiety for him.
He finds it very difficult to put himself in someone else's shoes, some might say this is lack of empathy but I think he feels things deeply but doesn't quite understand it iykwim.
His conversation skills are well below that of his age. He doesn't get chit chat or banter or jokes. He's a Lad of few words but what he says is always worth listening too.
The very best of luck .... a great book for me was The Complete Guide to Aspergers by Tony At two of. Only read criteria and that, don't read too far into the future cos each child is different. I still refer to it for ds as he's growing up and find it very insightful. It was the first book that made me see ds for who he is .

Designerenvy Thu 25-May-17 19:31:03

Tony Attwood

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