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To expect a primary school to take DS his packed lunch

(109 Posts)
MadAsFluff Thu 25-May-17 17:38:47

Name change as DS' school monitors MN ( I am not kidding). Today DS9 forgot his packed lunch so I took it to school at 9:30. Fast forward to just now when I picked him up, his class teacher spoke to me to make me aware that at 1pm ( 10 mins before lunch finished) his food was still in the office so he hadn't eaten much as there wasn't enough time left. She also kindly informed me that she had explained to him he needed to eat his lunch for energy even if he says he's not hungry ( He didn't say the reason he wasn't hungry was because he now felt sick - I'm not surprised!) I knew full well the reason he hadn't eaten was because he had put down for a packed lunch but then realised at lunchtime he actually didn't have any food so had just gone and sat outside and been too worried to ask ( this has happened before) my gripe is that this school refuse to take anything brought in by parents to a child that has forgotten it - Even food! The teacher said he was told it was in the office but he is adamant he wasn't told and actually if you think logically - had he known - when he realised he had no lunchbox he would have gone and got it. The teacher refused to accept anything I said and when I pointed out that every other school I know delivers stuff to the child's class she said it's the child's responsibility to remember their belongings. AIBU to be upset that they didn't take a 9yo his packed lunch. If not what do I do now? Leave it and seem like a ranty parent ( I wasn't shouty but was quite direct and did not back down or accept her reasoning) or do I write to the HT and clearly explain why it wasn't acceptable?

dementedpixie Thu 25-May-17 17:41:30

My school wouldn't deliver it either and ds has had to collect his in the past. He will know next time to check the office first

BackforGood Thu 25-May-17 17:49:22

I wouldn't expect the office staff to have time to be a delivery service either. If he forgot it, then he should have gone and checked.

Ineedagoodusername Thu 25-May-17 17:51:20

I think you are right. How does he know you've remembered and dropped it in?

MadAsFluff Thu 25-May-17 17:51:25

But how do they know to collect stuff if they don't know it's been brought in? He assumed I was expecting him to have a school lunch and so didn't know I would have brought it in. Even the local very large (1700 pupils) secondary school takes things to children in their class.

Oblomov17 Thu 25-May-17 17:51:56

At 9, he should have spoken to his teacher? Gone to the office. They don't have time to deliver.

PodgeBod Thu 25-May-17 17:52:56

Primary schools aren't generally massive, I'm sure somebody could have popped his lunch in to him. Yanbu.

Seachangeshell Thu 25-May-17 17:53:14

So your assumption is that the teacher is lieing about your child being told that the lunchbox was in the office? Dishonest lot aren't they?
Fgs he is 9 not 5. He should be able to tell a dinner supervisor he hasn't had anything to eat by that age. And it sounds like the lunch was found at 1 pm and then he had it?
YAB vvv U

MadAsFluff Thu 25-May-17 17:53:29

X posted Indeed Yes that's my question how are they supposed to know. Surely they should make an exception for a child's lunch.

CotswoldStrife Thu 25-May-17 17:54:34

Our school would ring the classroom and ask the child to come and get the item.

So did he get his lunch at 1.00pm and eat a bit then?

dementedpixie Thu 25-May-17 17:55:50

Does he normally have a packed lunch? If so he should have checked just in case you had dropped it off. Didn't sound like he attempted to get a school lunch either if he just sat about being worried

Astro55 Thu 25-May-17 17:57:03

The main issue is that schools try and teach independence - he needs to learn to speak up - lots of adults around

' Miss I have no lunch' would either have him sent to the office for his box, or in the lunch line for a dinner

Even if he assumed he'd have a school dinner why didn't he say?

Teachers have a dinner list in the morning, he could've raised his hand

It's not a delivery service

PerspicaciaTick Thu 25-May-17 17:58:01

Our school office are rather lovely and happy to drop items into the children while they are out and about around the school popping in and out of classrooms. They would be mortified if a child went hungry for lack of communication.

CotswoldStrife Thu 25-May-17 17:58:02

Why didn't he have a hot school lunch? In DD's school they have to say each morning whether they are having a school dinner or a packed lunch. I understand you are upset about this OP but it's unclear why he didn't have a hot lunch if he thought that was what was happening?

MadAsFluff Thu 25-May-17 17:58:33

oblomov actually this is my point the school's environment is one where children are too afraid to ask for help as they are told off for things like that. * seachange* yes that particular school are dishonest and if you read my point about the logic of it - if he had been told he would have known that his lunch was in the office and not assumed he had done the wrong thing to put packed lunch instead of school dinners. Yes he is 9 so he would have been quite capable of collecting his lunch * if he knew I had taken it in*

Lowdoorinthewal1 Thu 25-May-17 17:58:38

They don't sound like a very kind school. Fostering independence is massively important, but so is looking after the kids' basic needs- including not letting them go hungry in order to make a point.

Fine if he needed to walk down to the office to get it himself, but I think somebody should have reminded him to go and do that.

SoupDragon Thu 25-May-17 17:59:05

Fgs he is 9 not 5. He should be able to tell a dinner supervisor he hasn't had anything to eat by that age

Yeah, because every child is exactly the same in terms of confidence aren't they?

dementedpixie Thu 25-May-17 17:59:19

Our school is over 2 floors so the office staff dont have time to be traipsing about with forgotten lunch bags

SoupDragon Thu 25-May-17 18:00:24

DD's school once phoned to tell me she'd forgotten her packed lunch (she'd left it in the car). I delivered it to school, they got it to her. It's not that difficult.

PerspicaciaTick Thu 25-May-17 18:01:46

dementedpixie - in which case they should have told the OP that they were unable to take the lunchbag as they had no way of getting it to the child. It is ridiculous to allow a parent to leave a bag with you knowing that you have no way of informing the child to collect it.

Sisinisawa Thu 25-May-17 18:01:57

Schools aren't there for the nurturing or looking after of children don't you know?

confused hmm

topcat2014 Thu 25-May-17 18:03:45

@demented - I don't really see why looking after kids shouldn't take priority over everyday office work..what with it being a school and all,

But then, perhaps that's just me.

Not sure my child would even think that I could have taken her lunch in either.

dementedpixie Thu 25-May-17 18:04:26

He will have learned now that his first port of call when he has an absent lunch is the school office.

MadAsFluff Thu 25-May-17 18:06:35

cotswold He usually has packed lunch so automatically selected that this morning. When he realised he had no packed lunch he thought he had made a mistake and was meant to have selected hot dinners (which he does have maybe once a week). He was then too afraid to ask for help because he would get told off

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Thu 25-May-17 18:07:45

It is possible that they did tell him, but he wasn't listening or didn't hear them for some reason. Unless you know the school have habitually lied about things like this in the past?

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