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To expect DH to pitch in when he is home?

(9 Posts)
luckylucky24 Thu 25-May-17 15:41:10

I am currently on adoption leave. Have 2 preschool children. Today DH has taken annual leave. We have done a few minor things like shopping and feed the ducks today but mainly chilled in the garden as it is so hot. He has done his fair share of housework today but not childcare. In fact he has disappeared, probably for a nap upstairs whilst I watch the kids.
On the one hand, if he was working then I would have to do it myself anyway so I wonder if my annoyance at him skiving is unreasonable?
For context he was ill for a good 5/6 days last week and I, without fuss did all early mornings, meals, bedtimes and everything in between whilst he was in bed all day. Maybe I wouldn't begrudge him the rest if I hadn't picked up the slack whenever he was ill only for him to bugger off out on two evenings since he recovered on Sunday.

luckylucky24 Thu 25-May-17 16:13:55

He's still "resting".
Lucky him!

Pouncival Thu 25-May-17 16:46:59


This would aggravate me too OP - you need to have a chat and let him know he needs to pitch in

megletthesecond Thu 25-May-17 16:48:05

Yanbu. Xp was like this, wouldn't change.

Allthebestnamesareused Thu 25-May-17 16:49:55

I'd have gone up gotten into bed next to him and said "my turn for the nap"!

Pinkheart5917 Thu 25-May-17 16:50:29

I find it weird that a parent that works wouldn't want to spend time with the dc when at home tbh. I can't ever imagine my dh not wanting to spend time with the dc when his home

To just disappear and not say anything, surely you'd say I'm going for a nap.

You need o talk to him. Nothing will improve if you don't communicate

Stormtreader Thu 25-May-17 16:51:14

Send the kids up to "play with daddy!"

BiddyPop Thu 25-May-17 16:53:33

Send the DCs up to wake him and ask him to play with them...

luckylucky24 Thu 25-May-17 17:49:51

Sent DS up and then half an hour later when he still didn't emerge I went myself. He said he was sorry, he hasn't intended to fall asleep. I pointed out I sent DS to wake him and just apologised again and blamed the heat. He isn't going out as planned tonight as he "recognises he has left me to it this often and doesn't want me to feel he is taking the piss". He is also doing bedtime so I suppose it's a start. I have told him though if he doesn't pitch in a bit more day to day (only does housework on annual leave. Rarely on weekends,) then I will probably be sick soon and he will be left to do the lot!

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