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to be upset re DP not getting me a birthday card?

(9 Posts)
SarahH12 Thu 25-May-17 12:09:51

Every time a birthday or Christmas comes around I tell DP how much it means to me for him to get me a card. Every time he gets it last minute, on that day or a day before. Which is fine, I'm happy that he's actually gone to the effort of getting one. At the weekend I mentioned it again and asked if he was getting me one for my birthday. Today is my birthday and no birthday card from him and he said he didn't have time to get one sad AIBU for being upset about this? It takes 2 minutes to pick one up in the supermarket when you're already there. He knows how much it means to me but he just hasn't bothered sad

ComeTheFuck0nBridget Thu 25-May-17 12:12:48

That's awful OP. I know how it feels, my DH can be like this too. I don't have a solution unfortunately.

I get torn between thinking my DH doesn't care about his birthday so by extension it doesn't occur to him to care about mine and thinking he just doesn't care enough about me to make the tiny bit of effort to get me a card.

He's fantastic in lots of other ways so I kind of let him off.

beanzmeanzheinz Thu 25-May-17 12:15:54

I'll never understand why people get so hung up on not getting no cards.

Neutrogena Thu 25-May-17 12:19:08

You're not unreasonable to be a little upset, but if you make a big thing about it and get a big resentment, then that's v unreasonably.

If he doesn't show his affection and love in any other way, then you have a much bigger problem that a b'day card....

CrazyExIngenue Thu 25-May-17 12:24:42

YANBU if it means that much to you, but personally I don't understand why people get cards. They're quite expensive and useless after you've read them. I'd rather a verbal Happy Birthday.

SleightOfHand Thu 25-May-17 12:25:46

I get it OP, upsets me with family members "forgetting", there's no excuse as far as I'm concerned, forgetful people can put reminders in their phones for a week or so before but they choose not to.
As PP has said, does he show thoughtfulness in other ways?

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Thu 25-May-17 12:27:05

He has had 365 days to buy you one. .
I would be very pissed off tbh.
Reciprocate his thoughtlessness for the rest of the week.
I bloody would.
And I don't care if that's childish!!

SarahH12 Thu 25-May-17 12:46:35

justmade that's exactly what I said to him! He's known my birthday pretty much since we met 4 years ago!!

I have depression and he's really good at giving me hugs etc when I'm really really down. And I've been ill recently and he's offered to make me a hot water bottle, make me food etc so yes he can be thoughtful in other ways.

I think the card means a lot because for me it's a way of expressing how you feel about somebody and it's a memento after the fact.

It goes get me down because if I knew something was important to him, even if it wasn't important to me I'd still do it if it meant a lot to him. It's just thoughtless really isn't it to dismiss something that means a lot to your DP.

Garnethair Thu 25-May-17 15:25:42

It's not good enough. It's important to you and that is reason enough for a card to be bought in good time.

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