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AIBU?

To feel like crying

17 replies

Codyandthecupss · 24/05/2017 22:43

Just sitting feeling sorry for myself! I get married next month. I am so excited, can't wait to be dps wife etc, but I am so embarassed by how I look.
I used to be a size 6, with a small chest but since giving birth to my ds two years ago and being put on a high dose of ADs I have piled the
Weight on and I am now a
Size 14 with a huge 34 f bust which makes me look so grumpy and too heavy! I am only 5"4 so I do
Not suit any extra weight at all.
I tried on my dress last week and I just looked fat and tired. A few years ago I could have chosen from a
Whole range of bridal dresses, but my saggy stomach has really limited what I can wear. I know I need
To get grip but I just always imagined looking beautiful on my wedding day, and now I hate the sight of me
Sad

OP posts:
Codyandthecupss · 24/05/2017 22:43

Not grumpy, frumpy.probably a bit of both tbh!

OP posts:
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 24/05/2017 22:47

Hes marrying at size 14 because. He loves you for who you are.
A curvy size 14 with big boobs. I'd say you've got the perfect figure. That a lot of women would be jealous of.

ssd · 24/05/2017 22:48

I'm sure your dp looks at you he sees a beautiful woman he loves Thanks

wifeyhun · 24/05/2017 22:51

I would love to be a size 14 it is my dream size.

I'm sure you will look lovely cody.

PickAChew · 24/05/2017 22:57

I'm 5'4 and a 12, 30H. Big contrast to the old money 32A I was as an old money size 10, back in the 80s! Vive le change! or something like that.

I'm actually fitter and stronger than I was back then, though. And much, much wiser, I like to think. Definitely wise enough to know that the size I was 30 years ago is unattainable, largely because that would make me underweight!

You will look beautiful on your wedding day and your DHTB will most definitely find you beautiful, amongst many other qualities.

I was a bloody size 18 when I married DH, btw. I donated the dress to a charity shop, a few years ago, after trying it on for a laugh.

Codyandthecupss · 24/05/2017 23:03

It's not so much much being a 14, I have seen plenty of gorgeous size 14 women who suit their shape, but I just do not carry the weight well! I have an awful saggy pouch on my stomach from my c section and it always wobbles. I hate it. I hate dp seeing me naked and seeing all my bits wobble. My legs are covered in stretch marks. I just feel ruined.

OP posts:
C4pinkwheels · 24/05/2017 23:08

You look the way you look because you have used your super powers to grow a human being. You have the soft pillowy tummy that is the badge of honour of women throughout time who have been on the journey that you share with them.
Your man sees the woman he loves, your child the mother they adore, your family and friends see only the good in you on your special day.
You have a month to pamper your skin and hair, drink lots of water, only eat beautiful food and be kind to yourself.
When you have a body that feels more like the old you treat the family to some special photos but not to replace your wedding ones but to sit alongside them to show your journey.
Stick on some happy tunes and dance yourself stupid every time you feel like crying.
I've spent my whole adult life wishing I could be 5'4"!!!
you have a rubenesque figure that most men find desirable and a bust size that screams "I am all woman".

Codyandthecupss · 24/05/2017 23:20

Some lovely comments which have helped me get a bit of perspective so thank you.
I just miss my old figure, which, believe it or not, I used to hate!
I want to be a beautiful bride, not a fat self conscious one

OP posts:
Henrysmycat · 24/05/2017 23:29

I was in a similar position. I went from a size 6/8 with 32D to a size 16 and 34GG. Over 3 stones leftover weight. I still had a bit of waist but even that 16 was tight around my arse. I made Kim katrashian look streamlined.
Anyway, I know I'm gonna sound like a broken record but exercise did it for me. And I paid a trainer to see me once a week. I did not shop anything for months do I could justify it to my frugal self.
After that, my diet was shorted quite fast. Once I saw result, I was spurred on. I'm not back to my pre-baby body as my body changed but I like my fitter solid legs and almost 6 pack more.

Now your wedding is in a month. Probably too late for major changes but a start on a low carb/keto diet will deflate your stomach a bit and make you feel less bloated. Make sure you get your hair ready (bit of trim, dye or deep moisturing session) followed by a hairstyle on the day. If you can't afford hair/makeup, go to dept store and have a makeover and be ready for this. If your skin shows; body scrub and moisturing every night will make it look amazing. Look after your face too eyebrows included.
I'd concentrate on hair, makeup and accessories and not something like weight drag your day down.
And have fun. Make sure that's what you remember.

38cody · 24/05/2017 23:34

Slimming world SP - quick results - even a few lbs off may make you feel better?
Make a feature of your big boobs - enjoy your day.

Codyandthecupss · 24/05/2017 23:37

Dp loves my new boobs- but they feel so alien to me! I was always so flat and now they just get in the way!

OP posts:
JassyRadlett · 25/05/2017 00:11

Invest in amazing underwear. I know how you feel, used to be very trim and now I'm saggy and wobbly. A well fitted bra and amazing pants that smooth out the wobbles do wonders for how I feel about myself.
And a good hairdresser and make up artist for the day.

You will be awesome.

PickAChew · 25/05/2017 00:25

they just get in the way!

You need shorter wine glasses ;)

Grilledaubergines · 25/05/2017 00:37

OP, you have a bit of time before the wedding, so try to eat as well as you can, plenty of fruit and green veg. No, you're not going to get down to a size 6, but you will lose a few pounds which will boost your confidence and help you feel more positive and in control. Try and have some early nights too. Basically, be realistic. You can make changes before the wedding. Try to continue them after too as you'll really feel the benefit.

Grilledaubergines · 25/05/2017 00:41

Make a feature of your big boobs

Sorry but this did make me laugh! Perhaps some fairy lights and a whirligig? Really make them stand out!

Henrysmycat · 25/05/2017 06:51

I'd advice against making a feature of your boobs. If you find the uncomfortable now in terms of size and attracting attention that attention will multiply exponentially at your wedding. You'd be covering them with your arms all the time and they will for sure "be in the way".

Codyandthecupss · 25/05/2017 09:25

Ok so I have woken up feeling a bit more positive, going to go shopping for some nice lingerie to wear at night, after the wedding reception.

OP posts:
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