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AIBU?

To even consider ringing the school about school play role allocations?

237 replies

theduchessstill · 24/05/2017 20:55

I know I probably am, but I really want some opinions as I feel so bad for ds and if there's a chance I'm not BU I want to know.

There is an end of year production every year at ds’s school to celebrate ‘leavers’. Main speaking parts are allocated to Y6s, but there are always a few smaller roles available for Y5s. The rest of KS2 make up the choir, which ds hates – not that that is an issue. He has been planning all year to go for a speaking part.

Auditions were held today and he is very disappointed to be one of only two Y5s not to be in consideration for a part. There were two stages – speaking roles and dancing and he went for the dance after his name wasn’t called for a speaking part and he wasn’t listed for that either. Apparently no roles have been allocated but everyone except him and one other were told they were still in the running.

My issues are that several year 4s have been listed as in consideration, which I think is very unfair when there were two year 5s who wanted parts. I also think it’s a lot of rejection – I know he will have been gutted in between the speaking and dancing audition and hate to think of him rejected for both. He is confident, but not over confident (teacher’s words from past parents’ evenings) and is very able but also ‘just so nice’ (also teacher’s words). I know I sound a total arse, but I include to show that they would not have nay concerns about him learning lines or having the right attitude.

I know he can’t have everything he wants, and so does he. His dad and I have recently divorced and he has had to make adjustments in the light of that. Obviously, that’s nothing to do with it really, and I don’t know if that’s colouring my opinion or if there is something inherently unfair about the way this has been done.

One a scale of 1-10, how much of an arse would I be to ring and ask why he wasn’t selected when Y4s were?

OP posts:
5OBalesofHay · 24/05/2017 20:59

Perhaps the year 4s did better auditions and got it on merit?

5OBalesofHay · 24/05/2017 21:00

Oh and sorry but 10 if you actually do ring

arethereanyleftatall · 24/05/2017 21:01

Yabu.
Just sounds like they've changed the way they do it now. Main parts to y6, since it's a leavers thing, best of the rest make up the remainder.
I see nothing wrong with that I'm afraid.

Chocolatecake12 · 24/05/2017 21:01

He will get his chance next year when he's in year 6.
It must be very difficult for the teachers to allocate play parts but I do see your frustration and it does not seem fair that year 4 kids are considered for speaking roles when there are yr5's who want to do it.
Could you empower him to ask his teacher rather than you phoning?
Maybe it's a lesson he needs to learn now that he will need to speak up if he wants something.

FloatyCat · 24/05/2017 21:02

Please don't ring school for this

Familyof3or4 · 24/05/2017 21:02

10/10
Can you imagine if all the parents of those that didn't get one of these two parts ring in!?!?!?!

MrsJayy · 24/05/2017 21:03

Please don't I know you feel bad for him and its not fair blah de blah but if he didn't get a part he didn't get a part regardless of the year below him getting in . You honestly cant fix everything for them

Reow · 24/05/2017 21:04

There was a post very similar to the the other day about a teenage daughter, had some very good responses.

Essentially with performing arts they will cast the children who performed the best, regardless of how much a child might want it. It's a tough life lesson.

(I auditioned every year for 6 years, never got a principal or speaking role. I was always chorus. I just wasn't as good as those who were cast in the lead roles).

Ditsy1980 · 24/05/2017 21:04

A full scale 10 arse.
They wouldn't have opened the auditions up to Yr 4 if they didn't think they were capable of doing it. It's not a case of your DS just being overlooked. Y4's were allowed to audition and are still in contention as they performed better.

TheNaze73 · 24/05/2017 21:05

Biscuit 2/10 for effort

Floggingmolly · 24/05/2017 21:05

It's a Year 6 Leavers play. The other years will be minor fill ins...

GreenGinger2 · 24/05/2017 21:09

I think you should go in. Only 2 kids in a year group not getting a part is wrong. Particular if younger kids do get them. Talk about making them feel shite. I think plays are a waste of time if everybody doesn't get a part. Hours are spent on rehearsals. Those not good at speaking and listening need to improve which will only happen with practise. The best productions imvho are when every body has a part. Many schools manage it.

ilovesooty · 24/05/2017 21:12

I think you should go in

Seriously?

elevenclips · 24/05/2017 21:22

Whilst I see your point and perspective OP, you would be a 10/10 arse to email about it. You are a 0/10 arse for feeling this way but actually emailing is not the way to go.

My kids aren't into drama (they're both KS2) and don't audition for main parts. However, the allocation of main parts has been absolutely jaw dropping in the last two plays. One girl who does dance, drama and singing out of school (and is really good) got a little bit part with 2 lines. Another similar boy got a non speaking part. Confused

Schools aren't fair places. It would be better to teach this to your ds. Complaining is v unlikely to have any positive effect.

GreenGinger2 · 24/05/2017 21:22

How exactly do you think he'll feel knowing everybody else in his year group bar him and one other got a part?

He'll be sitting through hours of rehearsals. I don't agree with shoving kids in a chorus and making them miss hours of lesson time for something they aren't in and will sit through bored to tears over and again. Either it is an inclusive educational experience for all or it isn't.

theduchessstill · 24/05/2017 21:25

I take the point that he will get a chance in Y6, but so will the Y4s - and another one when they are in Y5. There is no way they were all better than him. He is confident and expressive and having been to the last two such performances I am confident that the school is not over -run with talent. I just think it's unfair and not beneficial in any way to have an audition process like that and for only one or two to be unsuccessful. Just seems brutal - like when people have a party and only one or two are not invited.

What if I rang the school and said something like "DS is upset as he and one other are the only ones in Y5 not to have parts (who wanted them) yet Y4s have got them. That can't be right??" As I work I am never there, and just feel I never speak up for him.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 24/05/2017 21:26

We only have the boys word that every other yr 5 got in except and Another and sometimes shit happens it will be his turn next year

Underbeneathsies · 24/05/2017 21:33

It will be his turn next year. I know it's frustrating, but I wouldn't ring.

Sorry about your divorce, and hope your DS and you have a lovely day. Maybe do something special with him?

Rubies12345 · 24/05/2017 21:33

Maybe he's misunderstood.

Sounds like a very odd and cruel thing to say to children: everyone in this class will be considered for a part except and ?

GreenGinger2 · 24/05/2017 21:33

I'd politely email. Ringing is more hassle. You need to clarify things and point out your concerns. It's not your fault you work and can't pop in in person.

arethereanyleftatall · 24/05/2017 21:35

But all the others in y5 haven't got parts. They've simply gone through to the next round of auditions as I understand it?
Green ginger - I think you've mIsinderstood - this isn't a y5 class production. X amount of y5s didn't audition, so they're not in either.

Jellymuffin · 24/05/2017 21:36

Please don't call the school. Our year 6 teachers are already being harangued (just as they were at the Christmas production) and HATE doing productions for precisely this reason. They can't make everyone happy - the truly wish they could but they just can't.

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 24/05/2017 21:37

I don't think the OP was saying that her ds and one other were the only Year 5s not in the play - I think they are the only ones still not in the running for a part - so there is still a selection process to go through, and not everyone who is auditioning will actually get a part - her ds and the other pupil won't be the only ones who don't get parts.

Reow · 24/05/2017 21:37

You could ask for feedback I guess. Being confident and expressive doesn't mean he was better than the other kids that auditioned and got parts. At least you would know for sure what had happened, in case DS misunderstood.

But you would BU to expect them to change their decision.

ExConstance · 24/05/2017 21:37

I'd disagree with most other posters and say to contact the school. I had a similar problem with DS1 and I got another teacher to advocate for him to ensure he got a part., He was perfectly capable but there were a few teacher's pets who were always at the front of the queue.

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