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AIBU to say I can't wait any longer and leave? Parents evening...

(27 Posts)
TheWitTank Wed 24-May-17 19:52:07

Been waiting 45 mins now for our scheduled appointment and still 3 people to go...I still have work to finish (outdoor animal related) and haven't eaten yet. I get that its difficult to keep to a scheduled time with parents asking questions etc so I'm not pissed off, just busy! Am I going to look like a terrible parent if I leave?

Sparklingbrook Wed 24-May-17 19:53:22

No, just let someone know and then ask if the teacher can ring you when convenient.

What age group?

Ameliablue Wed 24-May-17 19:54:14

I'd go but only if I didn't expect to have any issues that need discussed.

missmapp Wed 24-May-17 20:00:11

If we were in front of you , I am really sorry. We had just been told that DS2 has major SEN issues and the senco was sharing the results of some screening. I had asked for a separate apt with the senco but the teacher saw us together. Ds1 is ASD and ds2 has dyspraxia and noonans so to hear another issue he has to battle was devastating . As a result , we took up too much of the teachers time.
I did apologise on my way out- hope you get seen soon and have better news that we did !

viques Wed 24-May-17 20:01:04

Not unreasonable to leave, a five minute delay is acceptable but 45 is not. The teacher should have terminated the over runners and suggested they rescheduled to discuss whatever the problem is.from the teachers point of view they will be quite glad to claw back your appointment time.

If the head is around I would mention the problem to them so they can have a word with the teacher in case they are new and struggling with parent meetings, it can be intimidating, and you need strategies.

viques Wed 24-May-17 20:04:26

Missmap, not your fault but the school is wrong, that is a meeting that needs a long time and the senco was wrong to shoehorn it into a parent/teacher meeting.

Not fair to you or to the class teacher, or the other parents!

MazDazzle Wed 24-May-17 20:05:50

45 mins is ridiculous. Yes, go if you want.

ivykaty44 Wed 24-May-17 20:07:28

I had to leave after it ran over by an hour once, I had a committee meeting to attend and couldn't stay.

TheWitTank Wed 24-May-17 20:07:36

DS has aspergers and spd so I do understand. We have a seperate senco appointments later in the year. As I said, I get it and I'm not pissed off just on a time limit!

TheWitTank Wed 24-May-17 20:08:36

I'm leaving now

WelshMoth Wed 24-May-17 20:11:15

You can always leave a request for a call from the teacher in question. It happens a lot and I'm always happy to contact parents if they can't see me during parents evening.

Pootle40 Wed 24-May-17 20:11:28

At our school they ring a bell after your 10 minutes - absolutely no option to run over.

pieceofpurplesky Wed 24-May-17 20:13:02

It really bugs me as a teacher when colleagues take ages and end up with a huge queue that impacts on everyone else. So I dread to think how it makes parents feel!

My theory is it should be a summary - if there are major issues then surely a teacher will have made contact earlier.

Sparklingbrook Wed 24-May-17 20:14:16

I agree that Parents' Evening is not the time to discuss anything lengthy. It's not fair on anyone.

Rockhopper81 Wed 24-May-17 21:05:19

My view has always been that you shouldn't really be saying anything new at parents evening - summary of progress to date, next steps going forward and a comment on behaviour. Nothing should be a surprise at parents evening, so any major issues should be brought up in a separate consultation.

YWNBU to have left.

bostoncremecrazy Wed 24-May-17 21:05:59

missmapp flowers parents evening is not the time to be hearing that...were you expecting it?

OP - you did the right thing to leave.....just ask for an appointment another day....

we have a 10 min slot - SENCO appointments are can't discuss all you need to in 10 mins.

Starlight2345 Wed 24-May-17 21:27:52

MissMapp that was very badly arranged..

Meeting with that kind of information should never be in a 10 minute slot.

LindyHemming Wed 24-May-17 21:40:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sirzy Wed 24-May-17 21:42:44

Parents evening isn't the time to discuss actual issues. It's a time to cover the basics and if needed make an appointment for a longer, more private meeting.

The letter from ds school to make the appointments makes that side of things clear and it always runs pretty smoothly

underneaththeash Wed 24-May-17 21:44:02

We left my DD's in the Winter term as the teacher was running 45 minutes late. I agree, parents evening, shouldn't be for raising any major concerns.

missmapp Wed 24-May-17 21:46:03

Thanks all and sorry OP but I saw your pot after returning rom th emeeting and was a it emotional ! I wasn't expecting the news we received. Ds2 hs just been diagnosed with dyspraxia and so \I had asked to see the senco to discuss that. when the teacher started talking about significant concerns and new screening I admit I was shell shocked. I agree the meeting should have been at a separate time I didn't really appreciate it taking place in a busy hall and then having to make small talk with other parents.

Hope the school rearranges another apt for you OP

edwinbear Wed 24-May-17 21:55:40

I left once after the teacher was running an hour late. This was the second one in a year she'd been an hour late for. I explained to the head as she came to switch the lights off and found me still sitting there and she wasn't impressed.

bigbadbarry Wed 24-May-17 21:59:14

I went home and had my dinner once and came back again - the advantage if a village school! They were running an hour and a half late. I was most unimpressed. I did get an apology but it really wasn't good enough.

harderandharder2breathe Wed 24-May-17 22:00:04

missmap bless you, the school really should have arranged a separate meeting for you. I get why they want teacher and SENCO to both be there but parents evening with ten minute slots and dozens of random parents milling around is not the time for lengthy discussions such as your children need and deserve. And you recognised that, it's a shame the school didn't.

In general, excepting cases like Missmap above, it's very rude for parents to take up more than their allotted time and just as bad for teachers to let them.

soapboxqueen Wed 24-May-17 22:00:43

I agree parents' evening isn't the time for long conversations or big SEN discussions. They should be separate. It isn't fun to have to wait so long. I know some teachers just naturally over run. However, some parents can be very demanding, aggressive and totally oblivious to your cues that the meeting is over and just keep going. I'm no shy/retiring wall flower but some people just don't take a hint or even quite an explicit 'we've run over our time, Charlie's parents are waiting to come in now. It's their turn'

Yes just go. Ask for an individual appointment or a phone chat.

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