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AIBU to be really pissed off with my SIL?

(11 Posts)
Litteroftwo Wed 24-May-17 18:32:59

4 days ago my whole family were involved in a major car crash. Luckily my children and husband have minor cuts, grazes etc... I took one for the team and seemingly absorbed the impact when the car drove into my door at 50mph. I have damage to my spleen and three fractures in my pelvis. My SIL ( who we took on holiday last month) has not called me, sent me a message or even an email.
She has a chaotic life and when things go tits up, she will call me and often expect me to bail her out. She will never call her mum ( my MIL) or my husband which has caused difficulties in my relationship with them as I often offer excuses for her behaviour or hide the truth for her. To give her credit, she has texted my husband to find out if we are ok but I kind of expected a slightly more personal approach. My inlaws haven't spoken to me either but I expect that from them. AIBU to expect more from her? AIBU to be pretty pissed off and a bit hurt?
( if you know me, please don't mention to DH!)

Siwdmae Wed 24-May-17 18:35:20

I hope you heal soon flowers and thank god the family didn't have worse injuries. I think you should concentrate on getting better and ignore your sil.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue Wed 24-May-17 18:35:49

Wow first of all flowers for you, and I wish you a speedy recovery.
Secondly yanbu to be annoyed- but you can't make her into the kind of person you want her to be. Now you know what's she's like stop picking up after her. Let her chaotic life be her problem for a change.

DaffodilTime Wed 24-May-17 18:35:57

I can see why you're disappointed if she only contacts you direct if she needs something. Yes it would have been nice if shed asked how you are especially when it sounds a big thing. I'm sorry you've been hurt and hope your recovery is going well

BarbarianMum Wed 24-May-17 18:48:03

With all that's happened to you it seems strange that the focus of your ire right now is your SiL. Do you think you might be displacing some of your emotions around the crash?

ImperialBlether Wed 24-May-17 18:50:50

Maybe it's because she's been a really good friend to her SIL, who can't even be bothered sending a text to check she's OK.

FizzyGreenWater Wed 24-May-17 18:53:01

Oh bless you, get well soon!

Ok, so here is your big flashing neon sign to stop picking up the pieces for her. Next time she wants something - make sure you put a bit more distance there.

Kokusai Wed 24-May-17 18:54:04

Maybe it's because she's been a really good friend to her SIL, who can't even be bothered sending a text to check she's OK.

Quite. It is hurtful.

But SiL sounds unstable and a PITA so you know you don't have to help her out any more.

Litteroftwo Wed 24-May-17 19:33:49

Thank you- I probably am displacing my emotions, I know I'm dwelling on it because I can't walk and am stuck in a hospital ward, but also I'm pissed off that I have been walking around with mug written across my forehead... It takes seconds to write a text ffs!

Tapandgo Wed 24-May-17 19:34:48

Get well soon - and don't bail out your sil anymore

ChildishGambino Wed 24-May-17 19:37:24

I think that's horrible OP. Get well soon and worry about yourself. flowers

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